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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this normal? Nursery related

76 replies

slapdashsal · 22/03/2023 18:12

Dd (just turned one) has been in nursery for two days a week for the past month. In that time she has had strep throat, an ear infection and now had a hacking cough. I expected her to get unwell due to exposure to all of the new germs but this feels excessive. The strep throat in particular was very nasty and she had to have two courses of antibiotics to clear it up. No sooner is she better from that then she gets a nasty cough. I'm hoping it's not a chest infection.

I'm listening to her coughing in her bed wondering when I need to worry about it. Is the first 6 months of nursery just an endless course of antibiotics? Was your child like this when they first started nursery and how long before it improved? Thank you

OP posts:
WhatWhereWhenHowWhy · 23/03/2023 06:57

Yeah from what I've heard it's quite normal in the first 3-6 months to catch everything going. DD does still catch things but a lot less frequently now like every half a year or so.
Someone recommended to me to make sure I give high quality vitamins to try keep it at bay and seems to work

AliTheMinx · 23/03/2023 07:08

Yes. So normal, but great to get it all out of the way before school and build immunity. My son was the same at nursery, but since starting school he has been very resilient and has only had 2 periods of time off - once for chicken pox and once for Covid. He's now 11 and seems to be pretty immune to most bugs/viruses.

Feelingcrazy123 · 23/03/2023 07:11

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

qpmz · 23/03/2023 07:21

@Feelingcrazy123 you've posted this on the wrong thread. I'm sorry to say it sounds like your husband has been unfaithful.

Lostmummy5 · 23/03/2023 07:24

Absolutely normal. My personal advice - start from the baby age - take your child with you to see friends (especially who has kids), go to toddler groups, local events, etc etc. Child MUST contact some bacterias/viruses to get immune for it.
The worst thing to do is to keep your baby "safely" at home.
When my son was a baby we went to every single group available, we visited friends daily, etc. Yes, he was sick but he builded an immune system. He started nursery when he was 1 year old and the the only thing he had was a mild cold and diarrhea once.

Feelingcrazy123 · 23/03/2023 07:25

I know I’m so sorry I have reported it to get it removed

sorry again x

BoredLawyer · 23/03/2023 08:47

Lostmummy5 · 23/03/2023 07:24

Absolutely normal. My personal advice - start from the baby age - take your child with you to see friends (especially who has kids), go to toddler groups, local events, etc etc. Child MUST contact some bacterias/viruses to get immune for it.
The worst thing to do is to keep your baby "safely" at home.
When my son was a baby we went to every single group available, we visited friends daily, etc. Yes, he was sick but he builded an immune system. He started nursery when he was 1 year old and the the only thing he had was a mild cold and diarrhea once.

My youngest was constantly exposed to the gems of his two older brothers, he’s still been hit by nursery bugs.

TheSnailAndTheWaaaail · 23/03/2023 10:14

It's very normal. When my eldest started nursery at 11 months we were all sick every single month for ages 😳 thankfully nothing that ever needed antibiotics, just coughs and colds mainly.

It settled down within a year and I thought it would have built up his immunity for starting preschool, but in the first week of him going there he got RSV and chickenpox back to back 😩 and has had a cough or random temperature every couple of weeks! It's never ending.

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/03/2023 10:15

Yes very normal sadly

But their immune system will get stronger

Cm kids are less ill as less children

BananaPalm · 23/03/2023 10:30

Same here… my son started nursery two months ago and so far we had an illness pretty much every week.

Do you all take unpaid leave or sick leave? And do you know if there are any legal protections in terms of having numerous absences due to caring for sick child (so that work can’t make an issue out of it)?

Original poster
slapdashsal · 23/03/2023 10:46

BananaPalm · 23/03/2023 10:30

Same here… my son started nursery two months ago and so far we had an illness pretty much every week.

Do you all take unpaid leave or sick leave? And do you know if there are any legal protections in terms of having numerous absences due to caring for sick child (so that work can’t make an issue out of it)?

My workplace offers special leave for things like this but you only get a certain amount of days. Luckily dh and I have the option to work from home if we need to and have been able to juggle things that way although it's far from ideal. I feel for people who can't work and lose money when their dc are poorly.

My concern is that because she's so little still I'm always tempted to seek out antibiotics just to be safe, but I know that's not good for her overall immunity and don't want her to develop a resistance to them. It's hard to know if you're dealing with a viral or bacterial infection too. How are we meant to know!?

OP posts:
BoredLawyer · 23/03/2023 12:51

BananaPalm · 23/03/2023 10:30

Same here… my son started nursery two months ago and so far we had an illness pretty much every week.

Do you all take unpaid leave or sick leave? And do you know if there are any legal protections in terms of having numerous absences due to caring for sick child (so that work can’t make an issue out of it)?

I use a mix of winging it (working from home) and annual leave if I really need to. I’ve not used sick leave so far for sick children, but I suppose if I was out of annual leave and couldn’t wing it I might have to. I am exceptionally lucky to be able to work from home and work flexibly. My employer would have no issue with me logging off early to collect a sick child and making that time up.

BoredLawyer · 23/03/2023 12:54

slapdashsal · 23/03/2023 10:46

My workplace offers special leave for things like this but you only get a certain amount of days. Luckily dh and I have the option to work from home if we need to and have been able to juggle things that way although it's far from ideal. I feel for people who can't work and lose money when their dc are poorly.

My concern is that because she's so little still I'm always tempted to seek out antibiotics just to be safe, but I know that's not good for her overall immunity and don't want her to develop a resistance to them. It's hard to know if you're dealing with a viral or bacterial infection too. How are we meant to know!?

Show quote history

I have a 3 day rule, if they’re not improving and you have a feeling something isn’t right day 3 is when I take them to the GP (unless they were sufficiently ill to warrant doing that beforehand). Let the GP decide re antibiotics they won’t issue them unless there’s evidence of infection. Mine have always had something like tonsillitis or a chest infection when I’ve got to day 3. It’s a shame in the UK we have to wait until they are “ill enough” to be seen rather than see a GP sooner and nip it in the bud (not suggesting having antibiotics as a precaution here).

BananaPalm · 23/03/2023 12:56

@slapdashsal

My work has similar arrangements but the days you get are actually sick days for both you and DC. So if I take a sick day for myself then there are less left for when my son’s ill… In some countries you have as many days as you need for a sick child so I wonder if here in the UK there is some sort of protection in case your child is ill a lot and works stats having issues with it (which is completely beyond our control!).

As to antibiotics I’m the opposite… My husband was ill a lot when he was a child and they kept giving him antibiotics so after some time they stopped working for him which is super scary…

lazycats · 23/03/2023 12:59

The question to this answer will always be: yes. The first year at nursery is an illness-ridden hell.

Original poster
slapdashsal · 23/03/2023 13:59

@BoredLawyer I think your 3 day rule is sensible. Dd is playful and happy during the day but very very upset at nighttime. She isn't sleeping or eating properly at all which means we are all a bit frazzled. Because she's having wet nappies and seems well in herself I can't see the GP issuing antibiotics but if she hasn't improved after the weekend I'll try and see them anyway just to be safe.

Not that seeing the GP is an easy feat these days either but that's another moan...

OP posts:
WeightoftheWorld · 23/03/2023 14:01

BananaPalm · 23/03/2023 10:30

Same here… my son started nursery two months ago and so far we had an illness pretty much every week.

Do you all take unpaid leave or sick leave? And do you know if there are any legal protections in terms of having numerous absences due to caring for sick child (so that work can’t make an issue out of it)?

You can't take sick leave if you're not ill yourself, I guess people lie about it sometimes though and do that. I can totally understand why.

In my old job I always took it as annual leave, and DH does in his job too. However I have recently moved job and my new employer has told me I can't do that and forcing me to have it as unpaid leave instead. I'm fighting this because I think it's so unfair and not even in their own interests either as obviously I will be off work much more this way.

BoredLawyer · 23/03/2023 14:02

slapdashsal · 23/03/2023 13:59

@BoredLawyer I think your 3 day rule is sensible. Dd is playful and happy during the day but very very upset at nighttime. She isn't sleeping or eating properly at all which means we are all a bit frazzled. Because she's having wet nappies and seems well in herself I can't see the GP issuing antibiotics but if she hasn't improved after the weekend I'll try and see them anyway just to be safe.

Not that seeing the GP is an easy feat these days either but that's another moan...

Does she have a temp too?

It’s so hard at this age. My youngest (20 months) has been a bit grotty the last few days and has a viral rash. So much easier with my 4 year old who can tell me what hurts etc you can make a better assessment then.

Hope she gets better soon. It’s so hard juggling it all and at times gets overwhelming, illness just throws everything out.

Original poster
slapdashsal · 23/03/2023 14:11

@BoredLawyer no temp at the minute, she felt hot last night but I think that was because she'd got herself worked up. It really is hard because I'm of the mind that you can never be too careful but on the other hand it's nearly impossible to get seen every single time she's unwell. I'd be happy to ride it out if I knew it wasn't anything sinister, but like you say at such a young age there's no way of knowing for sure.

Although last time we saw the GP he told me there was nothing wrong with her and the next day she was clearly unwell enough to need antibiotics. It's a nightmare.

OP posts:
BoredLawyer · 23/03/2023 14:16

Does she sleep when she’s had calpol? I think 3 days of not eating properly is concerning. If it’s teeth they do tend to get worse at night (the blood rushes when they lay down).

Original poster
slapdashsal · 23/03/2023 17:15

BoredLawyer · 23/03/2023 14:16

Does she sleep when she’s had calpol? I think 3 days of not eating properly is concerning. If it’s teeth they do tend to get worse at night (the blood rushes when they lay down).

She sleeps for a while but wakes up distressed. When she had strep she barely ate for 2 weeks. She was taking bottles so doctor wasn't too concerned but it was awful. She'd just got back to normal with her food and now she has this terrible cough and we are back to square one again. She's having bits and pieces just not as much as normal.

OP posts:
BoredLawyer · 23/03/2023 19:09

Hope she’s a bit better this evening OP? My youngest had a chest infection and it was his temperament rather than his cough that made me go to the GP. I wouldn’t have guessed that was the issue based on his symptoms. Could it be that?

Original poster
slapdashsal · 23/03/2023 19:50

BoredLawyer · 23/03/2023 19:09

Hope she’s a bit better this evening OP? My youngest had a chest infection and it was his temperament rather than his cough that made me go to the GP. I wouldn’t have guessed that was the issue based on his symptoms. Could it be that?

Thank you for asking. She was very upset when I first put her down. Her cry is hoarse and strained, a bit like when adults get a croaky voice. I comforted her but she was exhausted and really needs her sleep to heal. After about a minute of whinging she fell asleep. A few grumbles since but she's stayed asleep so far.

If the past few nights are anything to go by I suspect she will wake a lot during the night and seems to only be comforted by being held/rocked/falling asleep on me. I'm shattered.

The good news is she's been happy and playful throughout the day and although she hasn't eaten as much as usual, she's had a few bites each mealtime and at least half of her usual milk.

It's not great but it's not overly concerning just yet. I'll keep a close eye though as I know these things can deteriorate quickly. I am hoping she can avoid antibiotics if possible as she only finished some a week or so ago for something different and I don't want her to become resistant to them.

OP posts:
Daisymae55 · 23/03/2023 19:52

Totally normal. My daughter started nursery in November. She was Ill back to back until early feb. Every parent I know has been through the same

Embelline · 25/03/2023 13:46

My son had so many antibiotics last year I was getting really concerned but the doctors didn’t bat an eyelid when they realised it was his first year of nursery.
thankfully he’s only had one lot for tonsilitis so far in the last five months