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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect housing association to act on unruly kids that bully others!

27 replies

BITCAT · 12/02/2008 15:40

My problem is that my children do not roam the street!! But ours street always has young children (when i say young i mean 3+) out at all hours, on the road and dropping litter everywhere!! My children are in the back garden, but my 9yr old sometimes goes out front with 1/2 close friends..that i know are sensible and reasonably well behaved and are in at proper time this time of the year around 6 and they are told to come in when lights come on..if i haven't called them before. Now we have other kids coming up to my gate and trying to provoke my kids and throwing things over the gate, not good when i have a 2yr old playing in the garden also!! On ringing the association there attitude was this..well it is the holidays and they are just kids..my kids would never behave like that!! Also 1 boy threatened my son with a dog and i am getting fed up because they should feel safe in there own garden. I have spoken to the parents before and got a gob full and the attitude that her kids are angels..well my kids aren't and i take any complaints about there behaviour seriously...do you think i am over reacting..this has been going on for a while and is not a 1 off!!

OP posts:
MotherFunk · 12/02/2008 15:53

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georgedontdothat · 12/02/2008 15:57

Sorry for your situation it sounds horrible don't really know what to suggest except to keep a log of things and take pics if possible then give it to HA as evidence.But just wanted to say my dc played outside today for a while and my ds has been out all day playing football ,funnily enough lo's do need fresh air

MotherFunk · 12/02/2008 16:02

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BITCAT · 12/02/2008 16:03

Well shes wrapped up warm and it's not really fair to keep her inside all day when the others are out side...do you not think that the children should be able to play in the garden, without having to put up with that!! The HA can send letters to parents about there childrens behaviour and give them warnings..i would see this as Anti Social Behaviour and if you saw the size of my house it not big enough for them to play properly and they shouldn't have to be couped up all day!! I am hopefully going to move in about 2/3mths because we need bigger house!! If my son was going around hitting other kids all the time and causing a nuisance you could bet i would get a letter about it..it just seems that they can't be bothered..most likely wait until 1 of the kids gets badly hurt but it's too late then!! So typical of todays culture, act after the event not before..we wouldn't have so many fatal road accidents involving children if people had of acted before hand!!

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georgedontdothat · 12/02/2008 16:04

But you didn't say that you asked her why her LO was playing out also she didn't say if it was the back or front garden .

MotherFunk · 12/02/2008 16:07

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BITCAT · 12/02/2008 16:08

They are in the back garden..thats my main problem...i am paying rent and i'm being forced to keep my kids indoors. Whilst those that have there rent and council tax paid for them..do as they please and make other peoples lives a misery!! It may be cold, but it's dry and since we have had little of that recently i thought they should make the most of the nice weather!!!

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nametaken · 12/02/2008 16:10

Motherfunk please be reasonable. The OP is perfectly entitled to let her 2 year old play in her own front garden - the time of year it is is irrelevant. My dc's have played out today too.

There may be a dozen reasons why kids can't play in the back garden, or maybe their swings have been concreted in the front because it was bigger or whatever.

To the OP - I agree with motherfunk on one point, it is a matter for the police not the HA.

I too have been into town today and been pretty saddened at the behaviour around. Fortunately I live at the furthest end of town and the chavs are too lazy to walk this far out to cause trouble

If you manage to get one of the horrid kids on their own at some point you could try having a nice friendly talk - sometimes it helps.

Good luck

MotherFunk · 12/02/2008 16:10

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MotherFunk · 12/02/2008 16:11

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BITCAT · 12/02/2008 16:15

No i would never let my 2yo out front..never never unless i was also out there!! With my eldest being 9 he doesn't want to stay in garden all the time..he wants to be out with friends his own age..not stuck in garden with the los. Neither would i let my 5yr old or 6yr out there!! Bless my 9yr old, he isn't an angel at all, but he is sensible and will always keep me informed of where he is, and comes back when he is asked to...we live on a small cul de sac, and he is sensible on roads and knows not to go anywhere near the field or woods at the back. I feel like i'm punishing him if i say he can't go out and he doesn't deserve it!!

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BITCAT · 12/02/2008 16:21

Oakey Dokey, i respect all your posts and appreciate your comments..of course we do go out for trips to park and feeding ducks etc.. but i can't do that everyday and Motherfunk sorry if i took your post the wrong way..thanks for the post! Right i'm going to get tea done and get them all bathed..absolutely filthy after playing out..at least they will sleep well tonite!!

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MotherFunk · 12/02/2008 16:22

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BITCAT · 12/02/2008 16:31

Your right..i don't really want them to pick up bad habits or start behaving like that!!! I suppose this kind of behaviour will be normal in a few years and most estates have problem families..depending on where you live...i have another problem with next door neighbours..do you think i would be wrong to contact nspcc or social services...the last few months there has been a lot of noise coming from there..banging, crying, shouting, we had to call police friday night as someone was shouting call the police and he was calling her names like your a fat mum now aren't you and last night we could hear the baby crying and he was still shouting..sounds like someone coming through the walls somenites..it happens every other day and i am really concerned about that baby!! What do you think..overreacting or justified!!

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MotherFunk · 12/02/2008 16:32

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BITCAT · 12/02/2008 16:35

It's just it's so loud and i just really worried about the baby, it shouldn't have to put up with that!! Don't get me wrong i know we all argue..we wouldn't be normal otherwise..but i am a born worrier and it's nice to get a second opinion because i don't want to do something that i will regret!!

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MotherFunk · 12/02/2008 16:37

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BITCAT · 12/02/2008 16:45

But on the other hand, how bad would i feel if something happened to that baby..when i could have done something to stop it..i don't know such a difficult situation and what about the mother, what if shes being battered!!! I've been there and sometimes it just needs a shove in the right direction to end it!!! Maybe i should try and subtly ask her if she is ok and lend her an ear if she needs one!!

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2shoes · 12/02/2008 17:06

BITCAT forget The HA. get in touch with the pretendy police(can't think what their title is)
we had a lot of trouble with some darlings egging our house. we knew who it was. complained to HA..sweet FA done.
contacted the police they sent a "policeman" out. he was brilliant and went to speak to the dad. he never did see him, but it has stopped.
The "policeman" would most likely just speak to the parents. but might do the trick.

2shoes · 12/02/2008 17:07

i had only red the op sorry

smartiejake · 12/02/2008 17:23

What is wrong with kids playing outside in Feb? It's not that cold. In Sweden kids play outside all the year round and tiny ones are always sent out side in a pram for their daytime naps. (Well wrapped up of course.)
I would definitely call the police if this happens again and if you have a camera or video camera take some pictures as evidence.
We once had a gang of yobs destroying a wall next to our house who then proceeded to lob them into my garden where my then 5 and 7 year old were playing. I went upstairs and took still photos and a bit of video footage.

Only then did I go out and chase them off telling them about what I had done. The evidence was given to the ploice, parents informed, warnings given and I never had any more problems.

nametaken · 12/02/2008 18:43

Yes I often get my mobile phone out and start filming bad behaviour. It seems to stop people immediately. Never done anything with the footage though, because usually people stop behaving badly when they see what I'm doing. It scares 10 year olds but probably wouldn't work on teens.

nutcracker · 12/02/2008 18:52

Do you live in my street ?

My kids are also not allowed to play out the front because of the other kids that are.

My kids play in the back garden, but we have to put up with next doors 2, climbing right to the top of the fence and throwing stones, tools and bricks over the fence, plus swearing at my kids. Their parents do not give a toss. They let all 3 kids go to the play area down the road (well out of sight and earshot of parents) and the youngest is just 2yrs, the eldest is 8.

It isn't a casxe of 'taking them out', why the hell should you have to take them out because of other peoples kids who xdon't know how to behave ?

MotherFunk · 12/02/2008 18:59

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Bangandthedirtisgone · 13/02/2008 08:41

Haven't read the whole thread but can't help thinking it should be the police dealing with this...

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