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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dog care

12 replies

Doodles29 · 21/03/2023 18:46

Hi all.

Asking for some advice please.

Myself and boyfriend have been together a year. We each have a dog what we bought to the relationship.

We are moving in together in two weeks eeeek! Meaning that the dogs will be ‘ours’ together.

We have started talking about a summer holiday.

We went on one last year and my mum looked after my dog (as my parents own my dog’s sister and they get on well).

My boyfriend’s father looked after my boyfriend’s dog, but they have since fallen out and no longer speak.

I feel that it is unfair to expect my mum to look after both my dog and his, as she will then have 3 dogs to take care of. My boyfriend’s dog is a very energetic Springer spaniel, and the dynamic of having the three dogs together can be hard work. My Mum has already expressed this.

The only other option for my boyfriend’s dog would be a kennel. My boyfriend has said that he feels that it isn’t fair that only his dog goes to a kennel and that both his and my dog should be kept together for this time.

I partly understand what he is saying (that it should be fair and that both dogs should have the same experience); but equally I feel that him falling out with his dad was beyond my control and I do feel bad for my dog if she has a place to stay but I still decide to put her in a kennel. My Mum also commented on how this seems unfair on my dog.

Am I being selfish? At this point it’s looking like both of our girls go to kennels or there will be no holiday.

many thanks.

OP posts:
Spangasspikeywig · 21/03/2023 18:48

Not fair on your Mum at all! The absolute neck of him!

ScottBakula · 21/03/2023 18:54

Its a hard decision, is there any chance they could go with you ?
Or could you persuade your DP to reconnect with his dad ?
I would not expect your DM to look after his dog , springers are hard work !

Jelly0naplate · 21/03/2023 19:00

Find a home style boarding business and keep them together. They may well miss each other if you separate them.

LisaD1 · 21/03/2023 19:05

Once you’re all living together the dogs may well bond and prefer to be together. Id wait a while and see how they get on before deciding. Our dogs do to kennels as one of them can’t go to young kids and all the boarders round here seem to have toddlers so they go to kennels together rather than have them separated.

fridaytwattery · 21/03/2023 19:30

He needs to find holiday care for his dog and he needs to sort it ASAP as many places are booked up way in advance. Finding somewhere that can accommodate two dogs on the same dates may be even harder if he feels your should also go into kennels - and don't forget that will be extra expense which you wouldn't need to pay as your mum will be ok with taking just your dog, as she has done before.

Just because he fell out with his dad and your dog goes to your mums is really immaterial - his dog, his responsibility to sort it.

timeforchampagne · 21/03/2023 19:33

Plenty of other options available than kennels if your mum so explore those first

Caroparo52 · 26/09/2023 02:15

Get a pet sitter to come live in your house

FrontBackSides · 26/09/2023 02:20

Could you get a dog sitter? The ones who stay in your home for the duration of your holiday?
That way your dog's get to stay at home and you have the bonus of it being occupied too.
My sister uses a dog sitter for her dogs when she goes on holiday with no dramas.

Niinja · 26/09/2023 02:22

See how the dogs settle with each other before deciding.

YWBU to expect your mum to look after his dog. However if they get on well you may later decide it's kinder on your dog to stay with BF's dog in whatever care you find for both (paid for home boarding or kennels) rather than being separated from her, as well as from you both.

KnowledgeableMomma · 26/09/2023 03:24

Now that you two are together, time to do things a little differently. Both dogs go to the kennel together. Have a great time on holiday!

WiddlinDiddlin · 26/09/2023 04:58

If kennels is too awful for your dog, why is acceptable for his dog?

Save up, book a pet sitter to stay in your home and take care of both dogs - its the best option for the welfare of the animal anyway.

user1471462634 · 26/09/2023 04:59

I learned from bitter experience last year that going forward, kennels is the way to go for us. I have a dog walker who I used for a year (build up a bond) before booking her to look after my dog for 2 weeks as was going away on a long haul holiday.

Six weeks before going she cancelled. Panicked as was trying to find alternative. Kennels I tried, even further afield, were all booked. Looked into having someone to stay but felt a tad uncomfortable having someone in the house I didn't/dog didn't know.

In the end my sister, 250 miles away, agreed to look after him.

I've now found a good kennel which I've started to put him in for the day once a month, then will gradually book him in for nights & build up so he gets use to it.

I may be a little precious & going about it the wrong way but I've learnt I can't rely on one person.

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