To be utterly bored with life ?

[SoBoredHelpMe]

I’m in my 40s, work full time and have a teenage son. I find almost everything boring. My job is boring plus been forced to work from home all the time which means zero social interaction. My son is pretty self sufficient and we do less stuff together now than we used to as he prefers his friends / online games (fair enough). I have a cat but it’s not cuddly, very fussy with food although does make me laugh occasionally. Housework is boring. I used to enjoy watching films / dramas but there seems to very few new things to watch which are any good. I do sometimes rewatch old stuff but I know how they go generally so not as enthralling as first time watching. I used to enjoy a drink but get such a bad hangover don’t do it anymore. Can’t find any new books to read. Since covid my social groups barely go out anymore and arranging anything is hard work plus we have little to talk about. I’ve joined Meetup - loads of the groups stopped meeting up during covid and not restarted. I’ve been to a couple of others which are ok but it’s never the same people each time so hard to develop any relationship and the meets are either every fortnight or month. I like music but again it’s very little new stuff. I do enjoy walking especially in nature and I do everyday but can’t do it all day which makes weekends boring too. Ive looked at walking groups but the only ones I’ve found are hardcore ones. I’ve played sudoku and word games but after about a million times I’m bored of this too. Im terrible at dating and found OLD soul destroying so I give that up. Speed dating was ok but no one for me and it’s the same guys who go every time lol. Money is tight at the moment too - if I was rich I would travel the world and I’m sure I would find that fascinating ! If I’m this bored now, what is life going to be like when I’m 50s/60s/70?? Can people actually die of boredom ???!

I think you’re being a little unreasonable. You’re still young enough to pursue another career for example that would enable more social interaction. It just sounds like you’re in a bit of a rut but with a little imagination you’ll be able to pull yourself out. What about the gym? Exercise can be a way to regain your spark.

Few years younger but you have put into words how I feel.

I think its its the WFH that's to blame. I feel like this sometimes too and it's because WFH has given me hours of extra time. With my commute, work used to take up about 60 hours per week, and was exhausting, so I was happy enough doing not a lot with my limited free time. I was also fine with limited social interaction after being around colleagues I really liked and had fun with all day.
I wouldn't want to go back to that entirely, as I say, it was exhausting. But I'd be lying if I didn't say time hangs heavy at times and sometimes I feel life's got stuck at lockdown pace.

Sounds like you need a new job, just having a big change like that will shake things up for you.

What would you like your life to look like? If you could imagine a perfect day, or week what would it be? Obviously it won't magically happen, but there are certain things you could incorporate into your life.

You mention social groups, but what about friends - do you have many? Can you reach out to them and go for dinner and a catch up?

What advice would you give your son if he said the same to you? Possibly to keep trying new things until you found something that clicks...

What did you love as a child - horse riding, knitting, roller blading -whatever... maybe try rediscovering something you used to love.

Unfortunately, things aren't going to just magically change, you will have to make the effort and take yourself out of your comfort zone.
This is something I found on another thread that I copied out:

Imagine the woman you want to become, think of what her daily life looks life - her habits, her routines and her actions. Start showing up to these commitments, start building upon them, step by step, day by day - you don't become her overnight, you build her.

Although, having said that, If you lack motivation for everything that could be hormone changes or something else. Do you have any other symptoms that could be related to perimenopause?

I’m sort of in a similar situation, similar age, single and have a teen whose dad’s not involved at all. My job is really dull. I remember asking exactly that question, can you die of boredom!!
So during the pandemic i kind of took a hobby to a whole new level and ‚re-trained’ to be able to turn the hobby into a job. So i now work two part-time jobs. Scaled back the dull one and took on a few shifts in the new role which is really challenging but rewarding too. The fact they are part-time makes the dull job so much easier to handle. I work a lot from home, go to the office 1 x a week. I really like working from home though it meant we were able to get a dog and we really love her to pieces. You mentioned walking and being in nature, and we go all the time. Over lunch depending on how busy work is. Definitely in the evenings/weekends and after intense glued to screen days, the walks are just whats needed. She‘s a small breed(not got the best reputation) but they are really family friendly dogs and so easy to look after, can walk for miles, very playful and easily trained. Could you consider getting a dog? We go to a few social events organised by a group specifically for our breed. They are so much fun. I mostly go alone, sometimes DS joins if i can peel him off a screen, or friends are busy. But I know dogs aren‘t for everyone they are costly and can be demanding…

I honestly would never ever try OLD again either. So Awful! I am considering joining a running club at work. I‘m not into the gym.. Do you have family close by? We see my parents/sister and my nephews who live a few hours drive away. I have a few friends but a lot my age tend to have multiple kids and younger ones too so i don‘t tend to have a lot in common with them. I’ve a few who are single and tend to meet up with them whenever possible. Sounds to me like you need a good challenge or hobby to get some excitement and motivation back into life again. Or at least when i felt really similar to how you describe that‘s what i decided i needed. Life was just passing me by… now i feel like i‘m back on a bit of a rollercoaster again. Sorry that was a ramble but just a lot resonated with me from your post.

Appreciate your post naimee - what is the hobby if you don’t mind me asking ?
I do need some inspiration I think. Changing jobs / career would be very tricky currently but hope I will in a year or two. If I don’t die of boredom first !!

It was a random Friday and i was sat staring at my computer after a fair few zoom calls about nothing interesting whatsoever. I had likely zoned out within the first 5minutes and i just started thinking this cannot be what life is about. Toooo boring! So I went after a HGV license. 😂 Not everyone‘s cup of tea i know. I‘d always loved driving and looked into lessons, this was right before the pandemic. It took me a bit longer to qualify because all the restrictions came in. But suddenly it meant i had exams to study for and course work to complete. It‘s a whole new world…and just felt great being so far away from my laptop. The shift i have now, has completely transformed my week. I have another exam looming so i got something to work towards and its nerve-wracking and exciting and beats being a single mum just working a dull job. I‘ve met some really nice new people as well and there are some social events coming up in spring. Anything you would love to get involved in… fitness or art… what do you love doing. It is hard thought with a teen that sort of still needs you ‚around‘ but then you feel you hardly see them 😂

Hi op, this thread is a couple of months old now. But I have essentially reached this point. Late forties, still have relatively young dc.

The perimenopause is a big issue I think. I've just started taking HRT but motivation is still pretty poor. I have an underlying health condition which is likely to never be fully rectified which can make it really difficult to just 'switch careers' and made worse by the peri.

Finances are okay, no big struggles. I've reached mid-life and am grateful for this but I'm caught between the young and the older person or that's how it feels and every group I join I'm encountering the same. Having had dc a bit older, I feel out of sync - too young to retire (although I have really) and as mentioned I don't have the right health/motivation etc to take on a new and dynamic career. I've got a good education but I don't possess a skill set as such.

I've joined a few hobby groups but have found that they are mainly populated by people like me - a bit sad and lost or they have retired and are older than me and in a different space.

I push myself to do activities but I'm not feeling any spark or excitement (in any aspect of life), though I've got a small on-line business I want to launch soon (a bit anxious about launching it in case I don't get any satisfaction/joy from that either).

I am grateful for what I do have and know I should feel 'lucky' apart from health issues but yes, oh for a bit of (positive excitement).

Your post resonated with me very much OP. Job is stressful but boring, DC don't need me as much. I have lovely old friends but most live in other towns so we only see each other a few times a year. Life is just work, cleaning, cooking, laundry then an hour or so of tv a night and bed. I miss going to raves, or random adventures or exciting new places. I used to love disappearing into a good book but my concentration has gone so I can't even do that anymore.

Realise only I can fix this but not sure how, and there goes the washing machine singing the 'I've finished, come and empty me' song. Sigh

I think the main problem is the fact your job requires you to work from home

If you worked full time in a job and interacted with people you’ve only got a couple off hours to yourself on an evening to cook and read etc, and a couple of days off

Why not try getting a job at a bank? You don’t have to be that good at maths and you get to talk to people
It’s been an idea of mine for a while, not doing anything fancy atm, I’m at home bargains - which I do love though because of the people and you’re able to kind of choose your own hours

I agree with you though books and dramas have gone so down hill recently, always about murder or someone’s gone missing 🙄

Start your own meetup group and organise regular weekly events