Do you have a very different personality type to your children?

[Klunt]

I’m really struggling with my daughter. She is very sensitive and shy and it is just effecting the whole family every day. She cries every morning if her hair isn’t right, she cries if her dad is taking her to school instead of me, she cries when I ask her to put her shoes on etc.

Ive had her seen by camhs and have spoken to her school but no one had any concerns about anything regarding adhd or autism.

Every day just starts off so miserable. My husband and I are generally really outgoing, happy, fun people. She cries if we sing in the kitchen, she cries if we tell her we know she’s hasn’t brushed her teeth and not to lie to us.

Im trying to be understanding, but I’m just finding her really irritating at the minute to be honest. I feel she is too old to be acting this way, she’s nearly 9. My husband thinks I’m being too soft on her and she just needs to get on with things. She’s currently crying upstairs because she misses her great gran (who she’s never met 🙃).

I just don’t know what to do with her, I want us to have a good relationship and I want her to be happy but she’s currently making the rest of the household miserable.

I think you need a second opinion on the ASD diagnosis...

Also, get yourself the Highly Sensitive Child book.

They also have a useful questionnaire:

hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-child-test/

I was one of these children, sadly. And no matter how many positives we have, it's exhausting being so attuned to our own and the emotions of others.

This! I was extremely sensitive as a child and would cry over things others found ridiculous. Was told to stop being 'silly' and it's caused quite a lot of issues within the family as I've grown up, and now in therapy. Please go easy on your daughter, there is nothing 'wrong' with her, she just needs a gentle hand and understanding.

I know there’s nothing wrong with her, I’m trying to find out what people have found affective as I can’t keep being late for work, the baby late for nursery and her late for school and everyone starts the day in tears.

The baby?

So she has recently become a sibling?

This could be the cause of her behaviour. Getting to 8 as an only? Then having to stare attention with a baby. Most DCs will have a reaction to this.

Yes but like the reverse of your situation. I was extremely anxious and shy as a child with basically no friends whereas my son is really out going and popular (no idea where he gets it from as his dad is also a little introverted)
Don't worry about your daughter she will most likely grow out of it

I’ve had two very sensitive children and now have two autistic children