Nursery are the common denominator...

[GoingMadQuickly]

My daughter goes to two nurseries. At one nursery they are very creative, outdoors most of the time, and they have no issues at all with her. Say she's polite, rarely tantrums, helps to tidy up etc. At home she's the same, can be a bit defiant sometimes but nothing outwith the norms of a normal 4yo. At one nursery they are constantly having issues with her. This is a new thing. They are quite short staffed, and today they told me that she wasn't listening and a member of staff got 'very angry' with her. They tell me she tells lies, doesn't listen and is a 'ringleader'. I asked her other nursery about this and they said it sounds the complete opposite of how she is there. Her other nursery don't have any other spaces for me to move her to for more days, and she's only there for another 5 months until she goes to school so seems counter productive to move her after she's been there for two years and has friends there. They are struggling to hire staff and after speaking to a few other parents they've also said they're not that happy with the way they seem to have gone downhill a bit over the last 2/3 months. What once seemed like a really well run nursery now feels a bit cold and frantic. Staff look exhausted all the time. I do feel for them. AIBU in thinking the nursery might be the issue her, not her behaviour? Has anyone had this before where their child has had completely different feedback from two settings?

I wouldn't be happy with the staff describing that they got really angry with her - did they explain how they demonstrated that?! Seems like its their nursery that is the problem if she's only like it there

I didn't ask as they decided to tell me after they had let her out of the door and she was running around like a mad thing so didn't get much of a chance to speak to them, they might have said 'quite angry' I can't remember, but I don't think it's ever productive to get angry at a child. Angry to me means shouting or aggression. I'm going to ask them tomorrow. I asked my daughter but she said she didn't remember which usually means she doesn't want to talk about it.

Sounds honestly like one nursery is meeting her needs and the other isn't. If she's an outdoorsy, active, creative child, in an environment where she can't be those things freely, she will act up.

What's the staffing like in the nursery with good feedback? How do the resources differ, does one have a bigger/better outdoors environment than the other, free-flow outside play, etc? By "short staffed" what do you mean? Are they in ratio but only just, while the other works above ratio?

How do you feel about her key person in each setting?

I would definitely question her being called "the ringleader". And "telling lies". Lies about what? "Angry" isn't a great sign either, I would expect at most "we had to speak firmly to her today".

Early years education is on its knees right now, staffing is extraordinarily difficult, things are extremely challenging and everyone is stressed. But such a big difference is hard to justify. I would speak to the second setting and find out exactly what the issues are. Does she actually enjoy being there? Even if she is acting out, perhaps not as well stimulated as in the first setting, as you say it isn't long until school.

Gosh I dont think Id ever be happy about somone/staff getting angry on any level at a nursery setting. Why would anyone get angry, frustrated yes but angry! I think I'd be having some serious words with them or just moving nursery's.

What do you mean they are the common denominator? I think you mean she's fine at home and at nursery 1 but only 2 are complaining of an issue so perhaps they are the issue? It seems odd that they should describe a nursery aged child in that way at all to be honest. Can you put her in the other nursery for the whole time?