To think there should be some kind of national reflection on the pandemic?

[23rdmarch2020]

It’s coming up to three years since the first lockdown. In many ways, it feels an absolute age ago. From personal experience, my life completely changed in the space of a week and so many things happened in my life that never would have because of the pandemic (some good, some bad). For some, it has been an absolute tragedy. In the space of a few weeks we went from being in our normal lives to it being a criminal offence to step outside our homes without a valid excuse. Obviously people are keen to move on but AIBU to think there should be more reflection on the pandemic than there has been?

I was in Melbourne Australia and frankly find it grating when people in the UK (or almost any other place) complain about their restrictions.

I can't believe someone from NZ is having a whinge on this thread- your lives basically went on as normal except for foreign travel (also banned for us)- so cry me a fucking river.

All of this to say, I don't know what good would come of everyone venting and comparing experiences. Everyone's pandemic was shitty in different ways. I don't have a lot of bandwidth to hear from people who in my view, had it easier. I'm sure it was crap, but I don't want to hear it.

My mum died alone at a fairly young age under the worst, traumatic and most isolating of circumstances whilst I got to watch of FaceTime and I really don’t want to reflect because I’ll have to listen to a pile of idiots tell me how it couldn’t be helped and was all really for the greater good and I am at the end of my tether and have been for quite some time. . So no, I don’t want to reflect, I saw too many mistakes at the actual time it was happening so I don’t need to look back to see anything new, the whole thing will makes me sick. Reflecting is going to change what? Nothing. Because no one wants to admit they were wrong about anythhg. Lessens will be learned going forward? No they won’t. Reflecting without admission of wrong doing is just torture for those who were brutally affected and still trying to keep going.

I had to watch my mother die via camera phone here in the UK if that makes you feel any better. We had plenty of restrictions here. Sorry if that’s not brutal enough for you.

I'm in New Zealand and don't feel any need to reflect on it. Honestly, just move on people.

It affected every single person differently so no, we shouldn't have a collected period of reflection.

It's a personal thing based on your circumstances at the time. Go ahead and reflect. I don't see much point seeing as it's still around.

I'm truly sorry for your loss.

I still find it hard to believe it ever happened, and how lonely I felt

Nope I'm sick of hearing about it . Concentrate on todays problems .

Commission on Covid Commemoration

I used to be an academic historian and worked on memory in a period of trauma and division and I have found seeing how people have handled the pandemic, and the collective will to forget, really fascinating. It's really made me rethink some of my assumptions about the past and why some things just 'disappear' from the sources because no one wants to think or talk about them any more pretty shortly after they occurred.

I also don't particularly want to remember or reflect, and I had a relatively 'good' pandemic, in that I didn't lose anyone. But I do feel so guilty if I think about the period where we were both trying to work full-time with no childcare and a toddler that we took for one walk a day around our housing estate that I'd rather just not. His little brother is now the age he was during the first lockdown and every now and then I think 'oh, I don't remember DS1 doing this at this age' and then remembering that that's because he didn't!

I think it’s too soon to reflect. My mental health was damaged during the pandemic and I don’t want to be made to think about it, yet. I need some distance first.

@SkyandSurf i actually don’t know much about restrictions in other countries - how much worse were yours than the UK?

I agree. I’m a teacher and from the very first day of lockdown I taught my whole timetable live on Teams. 3 years on the “last teacher” rhetoric is still thrown up - even now on MN. I hated lockdown - especially the first. I try not to think about it as I was near breakdown. If it wasn’t my husband contacting the GP I’m not sure where I would be now. It’s only been lately that I can actually write that too. I blocked a lot out and I’m not sure I’m ready to confront it.

I've often thought how bonkers it was that there was a black market for hairdressers/ barbers and that police were going round the steakhouse 6 miles away from us in zone 2 fining diners who'd travelled there from the fully locked down zone where we lived £1000.

I know because it happened to my mums friend.

£1000 fine for having a steak and black market hairdressers? These would have been unimaginable things only months before

But if we don't seek to understand what went right and what went wrong we could make the same mistakes again. The lockdown and the vaccine mandates seem to have been terrible mistakes. We need to know if that statement is true or false. We spent hundreds of billions on these policies we deserve to know if they were the right ones.

@Tietheapron I also have a late 2020 child so probably had quite similar experiences in terms of restrictions etc.
Has your child questioned anything about it yet? Mine is going through a stage where he loves looking at photos of “when he was a tiny baby” 😂 but keeps commenting on different things 😔 DH wearing a mask in our only hospital photo as a family, no photos with some people until he was “big” etc 😔
I really thought I was ready to be done with the whole thing and move on but his questions caught me quite off guard to be honest - I never thought of having to explain these things to him 😔

The very last thing I want is a ‘day to remember’ or whatever the op is suggesting but you’re likely right about huge mistakes made such as this. Not sure how you would prove it though

I agree. I often think part of the reason we've still collectively got such terrible mental health is that there was no 'end' which could be celebrated/marked in some way, allowing us all to draw a line under things, and move forwards. Lke the end of the war - many people died but there were still VE and VJ day celebrations, meaning as tough as things were, everyone was able to make the mental shift that they were no longer at war.

I guess it's hard though, as the pandemic could resurge at any time and now we've got all the corruption investigations, so bloody de pfeffle has robbed us of that as well.

The part I won’t forget though is how awfully some areas treated and talked about people from London as though we were responsible for it all and were deliberately spreading it. People in places like Cornwall putting up angry signs to keep out or shouting on the news. I will never visit those places again.

The pp isn’t aware for whatever reason how bad it was for many

There are two sides to this IMO - the official inquiry and the human reflection. They are linked but not the same.

We can't/won't get reflection with the current buffoons in power as a) they do not want to focus on a period of government failure/chaos/corruption and b) the Tory party is full of people who can't really do reflection anyway. It would be alien to them.

We also will struggle with reflection because we are simply still too near to it and too divided.

The inquiry will take years. It shouldn't take as long as it will, but the UK has a very poor track record on this stuff. Hard to trust after other cover ups.

Objectively speaking it was a period most people will recall as being pretty impactful. Some people do not have or don't express emotional responses to even major things, but they are not in the majority, most people in conversation do have strong memories/thoughts of the period.

I'd favour reflection but not national reflection because I am still angry at the government for what I perceive to be the mistakes.

I noticed our local park / running track still had the council covid signs up the other day.
“KEEP MOVING - DO NOT SIT DOWN / REST OR YOU ARE AT RISK OF SPREADING COVID” etc.

I hate with a passion this race to the bottom aspect of it. For months all we were “allowed” to do was visit essential shops or go out for a walk / jog. And then every few months we’d be back in lockdown and each time was harder than the last. Yes we didn’t need a permission slip to go to Tesco but it was still a lockdown, even if you had it slightly, slightly worse in your country.
When I did venture out with young DC for walks (playgrounds all shut of course) there was complete panic when they got tired and wanted to sit on a bench - I don’t think I’ll forget that feeling ever.

Or just the feeling of months and months stretching out in front of you where you had nothing to occupy the children but your own crafts and games you could come up with in your own home.. no friends, relatives, playgrounds, libraries.

I do think we should all reflect. Not in a way to apportion blame but just to remember how tough it was. However as time goes on I feel like the lockdown is just being minimised “you could always do x” / “doing y was never actually against the law” / “you’re incorrect, we could always do…” - even when thousands of people were being fined for these things.

Yes and no. I am keen to move on and put it behind me but it was traumatic for many. Ultimately it is nature....it will always be in charge and lay our life plans to waste. Take the earthquakes in Syria and Turkey.
We do need to reflect but also move forward.

I agree with this.

I think the authorities need to reflect on how it should be handled next time there is a pandemic and there very likely will be one within the next 50 years.

I think individually we should reflect privately and try and move on. People had such different experiences. Devastating personal and financial consequences for some, children developing mental illness and underperforming in exams. But many people did have a nice summer in the garden.