To not want to be taking constant diazepam?

[tonotwantconstantvalium]

Waiting on therapy for cptsd, agoraphobia, depersonalisation and OCD. I'm on antidepressants and propranolol.

Was prescribed diazepam back in November after being hospitalised, and kept on it for 2 weeks.

Then prescribed another 3 weeks worth in December ... again at the end of January ... and again about a fortnight ago. Now again, this afternoon, been told there's another supply for me at the chemist.

Each time I run out I have about a week with nothing, struggle immensely with a mix of withdrawal and panic attacks - and community mental health team say, oh, you need another box.

It is having a horrendous effect (anxiety) - I can't leave the house most days.

CPN and GP are saying its a very low dose (max 4mg a day) thats being overseen by senior doctor in CMHT, as long as I stick to low dose and take regular breaks off it for 7-14 days ... and they can support me to withdraw off it fully once I've started therapy in the summer ... but I'm so worried.

Everything online says diazepam is bad for you long term, can cause psychosis, seizures and cognitive impairment.

It does work miracles - good at calming me down - but I really don't want to be dependant on it!

Has anyone else been on this sort of med longer term that can reassure me a bit?

Re psychosis and seizures, all psychoactive drugs carry these rare side effects. But in the past diazepam was used to treat epilepsy (it isn't now because we know other drugs are more effective) so it's pretty rare for it to trigger seizures.

As for dependence, that's what the breaks are for. It tends to start after four weeks continuous use so if you always stop before then you should be ok. Your treating team will be very motivated to prevent diazepam dependence and it does not sound like you or they are doing anything to risk this.

The dose you are on is in the low side. I'm a psychologist not a prescribing doctor but I have seen patients who take up to 30mg in a day. It is also more effective with propanol which you already take.

It's a useful drug because it works so fast. As you can tell you know if you take it you will feel calmer very soon. Even knowing it's an option can be helpful for some patients with anxiety in preventing panic attacks.

I think given careful oversight and the plan for longterm therapy using it as short term relief now sounds like a normal conservative treatment plan. But you should feel confident having these conversations with your treating team and keep asking.

I really hope you can start therapy soon and get longer term relief.

I took diazepam (up to 10mg) every day for a year when my first DH was terminally ill. I managed to withdraw myself by tapering down and it was completely fine as I did it gradually.

Take as little as you can get away with. But bear in mind that the doctors don't prescribe it easily so they obviously have judged that you are in need, and it does seem to work for you.

Please don't be scared of addiction - you are not using it recreationally but for genuine need. A lot of other mental health drugs e.g. SSRI's can also have horrible withdrawals, even though they are apparently 'non-addictive'. Be mindful but don't add 'addiction' to your list of worries.

It's eight years later now, I can access diazepam 'as and when' via the GP - they seem to think I am a responsible user of it or something! I keep a packet at home and maybe take one a couple of times a year as needed.