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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a skip is easier than the general fucking public

323 replies

bussteward · 20/03/2023 13:04

I’m on a major declutter and obviously can give bags of things to charities – but the ones near me are small and can’t accept limitless donations or certain items, eg opened bags of nappies, boring baby things like mountains of vests, or “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure” type stuff. Fine.

But JFC trying to give stuff away via Olio/Freecycle/Marketplace etc is a full-time job dealing with the hard of thinking. No matter how clear the ad stating the pick-up times available – and Olio even has a rule you’re supposed to mention a time in your first message – you get conversations that go:

Available?
Yes, until 1pm today or I can be around any time tomorrow if you let me know when so I don’t have to wait in all day.
OK, this afternoon.
As the ad states, I can’t do after 1pm today. Please let me know a time that suits you tomorrow.
Tomorrow afternoon.
OK, I’m not going to wait in all afternoon: so let’s say 3pm.
::tumbleweed silence::

It’s like pulling teeth.

Then there was the woman who did specify a time, forgot to come, rearranged, messaged once she was an hour late to say her car had broken down, never confirmed a new time then turned up randomly three weeks later when the item had long gone trying to give me a box of cat food. I do not have a cat.

Every pick up time comes and goes without a ring on the doorbell, then the message comes: just waiting for my partner to come home with the car then I’ll set off. OK?! But you said 9am and it’s now 9.30 and you’ve not set off, so that’s an entirely different time and I have plans.

Obviously I am not going to throw everything in a skip or set fire to it all but it would be easier. Can’t put it all out the front with a sign saying “free” because it’s constantly pouring down. Can’t specify “no fucking idiots, what’s wrong with you people” on the ad. I don’t have an AIBU because I’m NOT unreasonable: it is the people who are unreasonable, aren’t they?

OP posts:
MadeInChorley · 21/03/2023 20:14

Letsbekindplease · 20/03/2023 15:03

I put tons of baby stuff on Facebook and had nothing but scam messages from people who wanted to buy it but would arrange for a DpD driver come and take payment etc. ended up shoving it up the loft and I’ll give it to a charity shop at some point. I did call charity shops but they didn’t want it as they had too much stuff! Can’t give it away!

If you live in London there’s a brilliant baby bank charity littlevillagehq.org/ which takes good condition baby items and . Their needs change from month to month and have limited storage, but they list what they are short of. We gave all our old baby stuff to them.

Also, Sal’s Shoes will pass on children’s worn but not worn out footwear.

Home - Little Village

https://littlevillagehq.org/

MindfulMess · 21/03/2023 20:18

Tarantellah · 21/03/2023 19:53

The type of people who are looking for second hand freebies are usually not the type of people you want coming to your house. They’re either scammers or thieves, will try to steal other stuff that you aren’t giving away, and will blatantly ask what else they can have. And they do stuff like spitting on the ground outside your house. Or they smash up your freebies and just take the bits that have value, and leave the mess for you to clear up. It’s awful but you’re better off putting it in a skip.

Oh dear. I’ve picked up plenty of things from Freecycle and similar over the years. Have never knowingly spat on the ground anywhere at all, nor smashed, scammed or stolen stuff. I did once have some come to the door to pick up my old plates and ask to see the new phone ones I had bought, but it wasn’t even worth logging with 101 really.

Zuffe · 21/03/2023 20:24

Skip.

There are people the other end of local authority waste trained to reuse, recycle or reduce (compost) those items.

Myotherusernamesafunnyone · 21/03/2023 20:43

geraniumsrojo · 20/03/2023 13:19

Once someone has asked to collect something, just give them the address. Then wrap the item in a bin bag, leave it on the front step, send them a photo of the location and go about your day. Worst that happens is it gets stolen. Which is presumably fine by you?

This is a really good shout!

venus7 · 21/03/2023 20:47

MindfulMess · 21/03/2023 20:13

I probably should have added the sarcasm tag! 😂

Show quote history

No...it's me; brain/sarcasm monitor not working! It's been a long day.........

ProbablyDogNappersHunX · 21/03/2023 20:48

I've given away quite a few things on these sites over the years. I've started to notice the same faces cropping up, again and again, to ask for stuff, indeed they'll respond to most ads - and it's all a bit niche, to the point that you start thinking that they can't really have a use for all the items they're requesting.

I do fear I'm enabling hoarders sometimes.

ProbablyDogNappersHunX · 21/03/2023 20:53

I'm most grateful to the person who gave me a kitchen appliance which would have been about £500 new - in full working order!

I also made damn sure I turned up on time at a time convenient to the item giver.

Whatnowfgs · 21/03/2023 20:55

What happens to stuff in a skip? Does the company not separate and recycle it? I imagine if you dumped a load of metal they would trade it for money.

VickyEadieofThigh · 21/03/2023 20:57

Allmarbleslost · 20/03/2023 13:16

I find Facebook marketplace a bloody nightmare for this. I especially hate it when, after a long winded back and forth for hours, they announce that they don't have transport and can I deliver the item I am giving away for free. To an address half an hour away. Then they get all arsey when I point out that it would actually cost me money to give the thing away.

I've had people living an hour and a half away expecting me to deliver items to them. Beggars belief.

VickyEadieofThigh · 21/03/2023 20:58

ProbablyDogNappersHunX · 21/03/2023 20:48

I've given away quite a few things on these sites over the years. I've started to notice the same faces cropping up, again and again, to ask for stuff, indeed they'll respond to most ads - and it's all a bit niche, to the point that you start thinking that they can't really have a use for all the items they're requesting.

I do fear I'm enabling hoarders sometimes.

They're often selling stuff on. A woman in my town does this.

FLOWER1982 · 21/03/2023 21:02

Why can’t you leave it outside if it’s free? It doesn’t matter what time they come then.

northLodontoday · 21/03/2023 21:07

There is nothing more frustrating than these people. I recently got removed from a 'free for families' type fb group by admin, by after getting my time wasted one too many times I put a post on saying ' whoever confirms collection first can have it'. And the admin was trying to convince me the rules of the group are I should follow up on the people who've commented 'interested' first. Me following up on them for something I'm giving for free! She said people have families and kids to put to bed, they may not be able to message immediately. But I have time to put my child to bed and follow up on every time waster idiot . So I told her to remove me from her group thanks very much

Yourcatisnotsorry · 21/03/2023 21:12

Charge £2 even if you don’t take it when they turn up, it’s the ‘free’ that attracts the time wasters.

Justbefair · 21/03/2023 21:18

Are there any recycling banks you can use, just throw the items in or charity bags to put out to collect? If not, you could just bag up and do a trip to your nearest one?

I agree, humanity lets itself down on these sites, brings out the worst in people. Even times I've offered to deliver for no cost and no one was in, pathetic!

I know though, you don't want to throw good stuff away, know you can't take it anywhere, people to collect are unreliable, so have to bin it. X

Sirius3030 · 21/03/2023 21:22

Things given away for free are never valued. Just charging a couple of quid means people will actually turn up.

MindfulMess · 21/03/2023 21:24

venus7 · 21/03/2023 20:47

No...it's me; brain/sarcasm monitor not working! It's been a long day.........

Show quote history

Here too - hopefully tomorrow will be a better one 🤞🏻

WoeBeCome · 21/03/2023 21:35

moonpie32 · 21/03/2023 20:00

I remember giving away my sons toys he’d grown out of just before his 2nd birthday in December time. All practically brand knew cos he was spoilt. Giving them away for free.

A woman messaged saying she’d like them for some toy drive she was doing for Xmas, but could she pick up following day as she couldn’t drive in dark due to glare of car lights. Agreed 10am next day.

We get a knock at the door at 5:30am next morning, I jump thinking something is wrong - it’s the bloody woman asking for the toys! I was dumbfounded! And worst of it was I gave her them instead of telling her to feck off!

That’s really weird.

scoobydoo1971 · 21/03/2023 21:45

The British Heart Foundation (and other charities) will come to your house at an agreed time and collect anything like household goods, clothing, bric-a-brac. This is what I have done in the past as it is bookable on their website. I think the freebie sites can be hard work sometimes.

venus7 · 21/03/2023 21:56

MindfulMess · 21/03/2023 21:24

Here too - hopefully tomorrow will be a better one 🤞🏻

Show quote history

I hope so...at least you are still sharp; I feel as sharp as a cotton wool ball.

OrangeKettle · 21/03/2023 22:06

I got an item of furniture free the other day. I was polite, asked when was convenient to collect, turned up on time and gave the lady some chocolates to say thanks. I’m beyond grateful because I can’t afford new stuff. I can’t believe these CFs you’re writing about!

begoneday · 21/03/2023 22:13

KStockHERO · 20/03/2023 15:38

Ahem, why has no-one on this thread yet mentioned the sob stories on these websites.

The oscar-worthy sob stories?

Amazing how many chronically depressed, one-legged, partially deaf, recently bereaved people who can't drive and are struggling to come to terms with their gender identity while also trying to support a family of seven children, a crisp-addicted husband and 36 special needs naked mole rats on just £76 a week come crawling out of the woodwork when you're offering something for free isn't it?

Oh yes, the competitive misery game 😂

Fluffmum · 21/03/2023 22:48

Do a car booty

CarpetLayingCarol · 21/03/2023 23:40

I once rented out my house, so had to get rid of stuff to empty it out a bit. I also had to lay new carpets. I left all the stuff in the front garden, with a big sign saying “help yourself” and throughout the day there was a steady stream of people removing things.

By 9pm all that was left was a suitcase and an old sleeping bag. I considered bringing them back inside, but I was still quite busy with the carpet laying.

At midnight there was a knock on the door from a chap who was obviously quite upset; his girlfriend had chucked him out. All his clothes were scattered in the street and he was planning on sleeping in his car. The two things he needed most that night were a suitcase and a sleeping bag. :-)

Shauny098 · 22/03/2023 00:02

bussteward · 20/03/2023 13:04

I’m on a major declutter and obviously can give bags of things to charities – but the ones near me are small and can’t accept limitless donations or certain items, eg opened bags of nappies, boring baby things like mountains of vests, or “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure” type stuff. Fine.

But JFC trying to give stuff away via Olio/Freecycle/Marketplace etc is a full-time job dealing with the hard of thinking. No matter how clear the ad stating the pick-up times available – and Olio even has a rule you’re supposed to mention a time in your first message – you get conversations that go:

Available?
Yes, until 1pm today or I can be around any time tomorrow if you let me know when so I don’t have to wait in all day.
OK, this afternoon.
As the ad states, I can’t do after 1pm today. Please let me know a time that suits you tomorrow.
Tomorrow afternoon.
OK, I’m not going to wait in all afternoon: so let’s say 3pm.
::tumbleweed silence::

It’s like pulling teeth.

Then there was the woman who did specify a time, forgot to come, rearranged, messaged once she was an hour late to say her car had broken down, never confirmed a new time then turned up randomly three weeks later when the item had long gone trying to give me a box of cat food. I do not have a cat.

Every pick up time comes and goes without a ring on the doorbell, then the message comes: just waiting for my partner to come home with the car then I’ll set off. OK?! But you said 9am and it’s now 9.30 and you’ve not set off, so that’s an entirely different time and I have plans.

Obviously I am not going to throw everything in a skip or set fire to it all but it would be easier. Can’t put it all out the front with a sign saying “free” because it’s constantly pouring down. Can’t specify “no fucking idiots, what’s wrong with you people” on the ad. I don’t have an AIBU because I’m NOT unreasonable: it is the people who are unreasonable, aren’t they?

Do you know what kills me…..those times where you put a heavy item like a sofa for FREE on a site and ppl constantly msg saying “can you deliver this 30 miles away”, WTF!! It’s a near new sofa that I paid 3k for and you can’t even arrange for it to be picked up when you’re getting it free!!! Also like I just own a van cos ya know, most ppl do 🤦🏼‍♀️…..the audacity! If I was ever to be lucky enough to get something mint condition, and really nice for FREE the least I would do is arrange my own transport for it!! TRAMPS

FergalWergal · 22/03/2023 07:44

This is all so true. We once had somebody come to collect our old sofa in a very small car. Luckily, it separated into sections so he took half one evening and then returned for the rest…

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