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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be sick of thoughtless DH?

35 replies

Theepissedoff · 20/03/2023 10:48

I'm just so annoyed this weekend.

We went out Saturday for my DHs friends birthday all good, he managed to get himself some new clothes and shoes for it.

Came to Sunday and I got absolutely nothing (which makes me sad because it's my first Mother's Day to two children but hey ho) he said he ordered a card on Friday and it's not his fault it didn't arrive in time?? Okay whatever.

Today has really pissed me off though, he has a work thing and he's taken the bloody car seats and pram with him so I can't pick the children up from the childminders (he dropped them off before work and then just set off with everything in the car). I've had to embarrass myself and be a CF and ask the childminder if she can drop them off (she literally only lives five minutes away so she doesn't mind but I do, I look like a terrible mum).

He's literally like this all the time, he's completely thoughtless and selfish and I'm just so mad and pissed off.

He says he thinks he has ADHD. Okay cool then go to the doctors and stop making it my problem. I'm sick of picking up the slack and having to do absolutely everything and I don't even know why I'm posting this. I'm just so angry.

OP posts:
Skyliner1 · 20/03/2023 13:00

I can tell you if he goes to the gp for an ADHD referral it won't be quick, so he needs to put some things in place himself. I have been waiting about 4 months now since I went to the GP and I expect it to be another three months before my appointment, that's a pretty quick process. I use lists and reminders. Everything goes in my phone with a reminder or I'll forget it. If he can't be bothered to look at what tools will help him, then I'd be getting really annoyed with him.

SixPenny · 20/03/2023 13:07

If you knew that you needed the stuff out of the car, then why didn't you get it out yourself yesterday, or ask him to?
Sorry, but that's your fault, not his.

Theepissedoff · 20/03/2023 13:22

SixPenny · 20/03/2023 13:07

If you knew that you needed the stuff out of the car, then why didn't you get it out yourself yesterday, or ask him to?
Sorry, but that's your fault, not his.

So if I asked him to take it out yesterday how would he have dropped them off at childminders?

I wasn't at home when he got back, I reminded him this morning and via text so not sure what more I could have done but you're right it's my fault a 30 year old man cannot complete a simple task - is that because I'm the wife or?

OP posts:
SixPenny · 20/03/2023 13:28

Why couldn't you have taken them?

premicrois · 20/03/2023 13:29

SixPenny · 20/03/2023 13:28

Why couldn't you have taken them?

You are weirdly determined to blame OP for his mistake.

Theepissedoff · 20/03/2023 13:31

SixPenny · 20/03/2023 13:28

Why couldn't you have taken them?

I was at work? Grin

Are you the OW? Was he too just seeing you to take the car seats out? Can you remind him next time please x

OP posts:
SixPenny · 20/03/2023 13:36

You never know, yes I'll remind him next time.

Theepissedoff · 20/03/2023 13:38

SixPenny · 20/03/2023 13:36

You never know, yes I'll remind him next time.

I honestly don't think he'd be organised enough to have an affair Grin

But thank you for cheering me up on a shitty day

OP posts:
SavBlancTonight · 20/03/2023 13:50

For me the key is his response. is he mortified? Is he offering solutions? Is he apologising? Because ADHD or not, the outcome has messed you up (and the childminder) and he should be accepting responsibility.

namechangeforthisbleep · 20/03/2023 16:40

ancientgran · 20/03/2023 11:34

Ordering a card on Friday is obviously ridiculous. Driving off with the seats in the car is understandable, presumably he needed the car seats to drop them off, would he normally come back home with the seats before going to work?

Pram I'm a bit divided on as obviously it is a nightmare but it's the sort of thing I'd do as I'd forget it was in the boot so I can't condemn him without being a hypocrite.

Me too, I always bloody forget to take the pram out the car but at the same time my husband says it's also his fault for not taking it out when he knows he needs it so it's 50/50 mindless mistake. The rest of the post makes him a bit of a moron tho

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