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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Worried to take 4 year old on a flight

28 replies

Iwanttogoonhols · 20/03/2023 10:16

My Dd is four and a half and very active (hyper at times) not diagnosed yet, but we are starting the process to see if she has adhd.
She can sit for around 20 minutes in a cafe sometimes, with a colouring book, ice cream etc. We haven’t been with her on a plane yet, due to covid before etc, pre Dd, we travelled quite extensively.
I can’t imagine her sat on a plane for 2.5 hrs, even with all the entertainment given.
How have others managed? I just imagine it being a stressful experience, she’ll be very excited, which is great, but with this, it will possibly be hard to calm her down.

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 20/03/2023 10:18

Is it necessary to take the plane?

ItsSuchACryingShame · 20/03/2023 10:19

We did Florida -twice- with ADHD/ASD DC aged 2 and again aged 6. We didn’t even have the luxury of tablets and devices at the time either. NGL it was exhausting. I just occupied DC every minute. They were awake the whole flight and, apart from a little time watching the inflight entertainment, it was colouring, reading, sticker book, a couple of figures that we made up stories and actions to do, lots of snack etc etc

Original poster
Iwanttogoonhols · 20/03/2023 10:21

@ItsSuchACryingShame Did they want to get out of their chair etc?

OP posts:
premicrois · 20/03/2023 10:24

pinkyredrose · 20/03/2023 10:18

Is it necessary to take the plane?

This is my question too.

We made a lot of compromises because it made both our lives and the children's lives much easier.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 20/03/2023 10:28

I think in situations like this it's ok to pull out all the things you wouldnt normally...new toy, magazine with a load of tat, new puzzle, new book, tablet, and a load of snacks

whoami24601 · 20/03/2023 10:31

Have they got a tablet you can use? I took loads of stuff for mine but ended up just letting them have unlimited tablet time. It's only 1 day! What time is the flight? If not I'd take a mix of quiet things and practical things and keep swapping e.g. Reading books, playdough, puzzle books, threading activity, colouring etc etc.

Original poster
Iwanttogoonhols · 20/03/2023 10:44

@pinkyredrose It’s to see family, otherwise we wouldn’t go on a plane for a few years as we live in a holiday place already. It would be 2.5 hrs, we could drive but it would be a long drive

OP posts:
Meandfour · 20/03/2023 10:47

We use all sorts when travelling with our children but they’re used to it now. I think the more she can do it, the easier it will be.
Things that work well; new Lego set, sticker book, new small toy, small puzzle, snacks, colouring book / plain pad of paper to draw, tablet & earphones.

WhooYourHoo · 20/03/2023 11:05

I was dreading it with DS when he was a little bit younger and on the path to ADHD diagnosis. I did ipad, a shit tonne of snacks, and a trunkie full of pound shop tat. I went in, bought loads of cars/toys/shiny things etc. I wrapped them all in wrapping paper and put them all in the trunkie. Every half hour, let him choose a present and unwrap it, and then he has to play with that toy for half an hour until he gets another one. It worked brilliantly because he had things to play with when we got on holiday as well.

Favouritefruits · 20/03/2023 11:49

As long as you have snacks, magazines, little wrapped up gifts, iPad and swap the activity before the child gets bored you will be fine, I started taking mine at 4 and it was fine, I ensure I always book the airport lounge to have a nice chilled atmosphere before the flight rather than all the hustle and bustle of the terminal shops and restaurants.

Original poster
Iwanttogoonhols · 20/03/2023 12:46

@Favouritefruits Of course, didn’t even think about the 2 hrs wait at the airport beforehand 🙈

OP posts:
NeverApologiseNeverExplain · 20/03/2023 12:50

does she ever fall asleep in her car seat? If yes, she probably will sleep on the plane too. Not quite the same noise/vibrations as the car but it’s not like sitting in a restaurant either, they do space out a bit, honestly. Book a special very early morning flight to help things along!

FlounderingFruitcake · 20/03/2023 13:00

Have her get her energy out at the airport before boarding. A lot of airports have soft plays but even just walking, walking and more walking whilst popping into shops to choose a treat snack and tat magazine for the flight goes a long way. Don’t be tempted to sit in a lounge or restaurant, unless it’s the BA galleries as that actually has a surprisingly decent playroom. You absolutely need an ipad or other tablet with a good selection of favourite shows downloaded, a few games (the c beebies ones are good) and you must have headphones. If there’s in-flight wifi you can also buy that and give them youtube kids, it’s utter garbage, but also absolutely brilliant at entertaining even those with the fickliest of short attention spans. Then I would do a colouring and sticker book too, just for a non screen activity. It’ll be fine!!

Coffeecoffeeinmytummy · 20/03/2023 13:03

Sorry to derail but my eldest is 4 and I know a lot of other 4 year olds and most of them struggle to sit still in a cafe for more than 20 mins especially without any screens. Not trying to minimise your concerns about your DD but if she can manage 20 mins with colouring etc then with iPads, snacks, other toys and entertainment she will probably manage as well as other kids her age. i.e. it won’t be pretty but you will get through it!

Whitewolf2 · 20/03/2023 13:15

Screen time and snacks are surely your friends here! Can you use a tablet and headphones?
You could also buy some little toys and wrap them up to give as presents when you really need something to distract them.

firealarmmum · 20/03/2023 13:24

Tablet with new films and stuff downloaded, Amazon fire kids is quite good for e-books and games. Stickers, bag full of new toys and books. Snacks.

Or fly at night and have her sleep?

bubbles2023 · 20/03/2023 13:28

Let them have a good run around at the airport- make a game of it- let's find a shop that sells x.

Get some new novelty things to play with that they haven't seen before- stickers/ colouring book/ iPad. Then break the flight into 20 minute sections.
Give them your phone and let them take photos when you're taking off and landing. Bring snacks that take longer to eat- crisps/ raisins etc.

I've also found the air stewards helpful in giving dc a safety instruction at the start (sitting with belt on for take off and landing). they usually listen better to them than us!

Lcb123 · 20/03/2023 13:35

Do you have any option for train instead, obviously will take longer but much more freedom to move around, changing scenery etc. might be better suited than a flight where unavoidable you have to be seated most of the time

AliceMcK · 20/03/2023 13:35

Recently on a flight with a very hyper child, not sure if any diagnoses but his parents took plenty of toys, unfortunately there were loud, think fire trucks etc… I had a bag of lollipops and offered him one as soon as his parents sat down, it kept him quiet during take off. The worse part was dad ignoring him and him wanting dad’s attention.

I’ve flown with my own DDs but no ND issues, I’ve always tried to time it so they are tired and get them to sleep. I’ve also been on flight where myself and other passengers have had to put up with terrible behaviour from children and parents. Did a 10 your flight once with an older boy, around 10 just constantly annoying everyone around him, touching others screens, asking for things, kicking seats, screaming all while his father sat in first class and his mother slept with an eye mask & headphones on. One guy was so angry as the boy kept hitting his laptop, he told the steward if he didn’t do something he’d give the boy a slap.

I think the most important thing is not to let your DDs behaviour impact others, if she’s fidgety try walking to the toilet or up and down the plane rather than force her to sit in her seat and fidget or kick the seat in front. Bring a tablet with headphones, down load a new exciting game shes never played before so she’s excited to play it and hopefully will engage in it a lot longer than normal. If yours and DHs phones are normally off limits let her have it as a plane treat. Put movies on the tablet. The last flight I took with one of my DDs I let her choose a comic on the airport, one with toys, she wasn’t allowed to open it until the flight, she spent the entire time playing with the toys & us doing the activities together, we did the same for the return flight.

my 5yo loves books where each page she’s got to look for things, a bit like where’s Whalley but with a girly fairy princess theme, we can spend loads of time on these books.

nuttynet · 20/03/2023 14:29

Hopefully the excitement will keep her interested. And then hopefully fall asleep

It's always stressful but you will manage

Pack a tablet, headphones. Download games and tv shows

Travel games, colouring, toys. New stuff she hasn't seen before

Snacks/ loads of snacks as the aeroplane wil
Probably have low stocks

gogohmm · 20/03/2023 16:09

My autistic dd travelled long haul regularly from birth with no issues, I simply brought books, colours, toys and her car seat (from 2) on board. Typically I was travelling alone with my 2 DD's (ex pats) and this was before smartphones. The car seat is crucial because they understand they stay in them, ba always let me bring on board

gogohmm · 20/03/2023 16:12

If the flight is to Spain, another option is to take the overnight ferry and drive, my DD's loved that, it had a small pool and kids entertainment (I'm going back 10 years I admit)

Original poster
Iwanttogoonhols · 20/03/2023 16:25

@gogohmm But my Dd will be 5 by the time we fly, they can’t take the car seat, can they 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Nevermind31 · 20/03/2023 16:32

Go for food at the airport - kills time and you are all fed.
then iPad and headphones on plane - for as much and as long as they like. Snacks that they love but don’t regularly get

SavBlancTonight · 20/03/2023 16:39

There is a difference between a cafe and a plane. Even now, my children can cope with sitting in a restaurant for about one hour. But we've done multiple flights of multiple lengths and it's fine. Or at least, relatively speaking.

Lots of screen time - both downloaded shows and also games/apps. Lots of drawing/colouring (DD likes to pack a massive bag with all her favourite pens/crayons etc and a bunch of colouring options and notebooks. Weighs a ton but is totally worth it). Books if they're old enough. Surprisingly often they snooze (although more on way back we've always found). Get a window seat so they can look out the window - that's always surprisingly entertaining. Selection of snacks to keep them entertained.