To expect a text

[Wibblywobblyway]

I am mother of three grownups, all late twenties/early thirties. Two live with me, but one was away, staying with their gf. I don’t have a partner, my exh lives abroad and doesn’t have much if any contact with them. I have single parented since their early teens, I don’t have siblings and lost my mother in my teens, my father was an alcoholic and left after my mothers death.
Now just to clarify, I do not like cards for any occasion, I think they are a waste of money and trees. But AIBU to expect at least a text wishing me happy Mother’s Day? I walked my assistance dog on my own, the country park was full of families, mums, dads, kids, grandmas and grandads. I felt like I was on the outside looking in on another world. I just feel invisible and taken for granted. A text would’ve made all the difference, knowing I was being thought of.

Sorry to hear that op.

so none of the kids bothered doing anything?!

Sounds like these late twenties adults still living at home need to realise how good they have it and show some appreciation.

Hi OP, I’ve commented on a few threads in the same vain, if your relationship with your children on the whole is good then I think it’s ok to let a forgotten Mother’s Day slide. Of course, it may have felt upsetting as you were expecting to be made a fuss of but I’d encourage you to look at the bigger picture:

If you’re unwell, would they text to check in on you, call to see how you’re doing or do a run to the pharmacy for you?
Do they initiate making plans to spend time with you, invite you to dinner or suggest a meal out?
Would they check you’ve got home ok or arrived at a destination safely?

If you can answer yes to the above, or think of other similar situations where they show their love or appreciation for you, then I don’t think you should place such a big emphasis on Mothers’ Day. I find it much more meaningful when kindness is shown on ordinary days, not when you’re supposed to because it’s a date in the calendar and everyone else is doing it.

Ds at home never mentioned Mother’s Day. Dd came home from gfs at 9 said she was tired and went straight to bed. Eldest ds played golf and went to gfs mums after. I’d called him in the morning to see if he wanted to walk his dog with mine, ( the dogs get on fine, I have it three days a week) and he told me his plans for the day.
Mother’s Day wasn’t mentioned by anyone.

YANBU @Wibblywobblyway I'm so sorry. It really hurts when grown children (over 18) forget/CBA with things like birthdays and Mothers Day. At mid to late 20s they should know better. Pretty shameful tbh. Are they sons or daughters or a mix? Men will typically forget stuff like this IMO and IME. It's not til they get a woman that they start 'remembering...' 🙄

I’d also add, that if you’ve expressed to them you don’t want cards for such occasions, this may well have been misinterpreted as not wanting to celebrate them at all. Unless you’ve explicitly said, “I’d rather a text or a phone call over a card”, then it could easily be misunderstood that you don’t see the point in the day at all.

Perhaps you need to mention mothers day yourself and tell them you felt sad nobody even mentioned it. Maybe they are so wrapped up in their lives and relationships they need to be reminded. I think I'd do that. In fact I think I'd probably get myself a card and so e beautiful flowers and tell them why I bought them. Let them know how sad you felt. Don't keep it in. Happy mother's Day by the way sweetie, I'd buy you some flowers myself if I loved nearby xx

Lived loved whatever lol

Could they have genuinely forgot when I was 18 I was living away from home was never really online, I completely forgot about a mother's day. Once I realised at 11pm at night when in a 24 hour Tesco I messaged my mum saying sorry and made it up to her by buying lunch next time I was home.

Mother's day changes every year, it's the same with things like pancake day I still forget that until it's upon us.

Hmmmm and you dog mind for one of them three days a week saving at least £60 in dog daycare fees around here.

I think a completely forgotten Mother's Day might make me rethink my generosity.

I'd start by ordering yourself a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

Cross on your behalf.

YANBU. Sounds like they are all taking you for granted.

What's the situation with them paying board money and doing housework?