“My baby sleeps all night”

[dancingfruit]

I’m a new mum. Prior to mum life I had a few health conditions (Autism, Fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue being up there) I say had but unfortunately they’re still in the background.

Things went wrong after the birth with a retained placenta and blood loss. I went from intending to just BF to a midwife saying babies lost weight so need a feed plan. This involved a plan of formula, BF and to express milk. They said maybe due to blood loss that I had little milk and it felt ages to come through. The new plan stressed me as zero sleep and to add all this. Then on day 5 midwife said give up breast when she put a hospital express machine to me as I expressed about two teaspoons in 5 mins. Very little!
I felt upset. Gave up suddenly and then I felt this fullness and didn’t know what to do - so just fed baby off boob and gave her formula. Ever since I’ve done combo of boob and formula.

Baby is now 3 months old. People ask me on sleep and I say very little, then get told “my baby slept all night from get go” etc. Our baby has reflux so during night it’s feed (boob 10-15 min, then formula) then sit upright with baby for 30 mins then if I get an hour to sleep after feeds. As baby feeds 2 hourly. I feel shattered even more so with chronic fatigue background and recently his mum has offered to take her for longer periods but I always say 3 hours, but feel this is inconvenient to them as they said before “why do I just not do formula” and she always looks for more hours (she gets formula so is fed in time away but I hate going too long without her being on boob) I’m also scared to use the express machine I have incase ending up with masitis, I seen expressing can bring this on? - I feel I could do with longer sleep but also feel guilty even sending her 3 hours some days. If I gave up BF would sleep improve - ie would she sleep longer.
Should baby be sleeping at this age through the night as when I tell people the lack of my sleep I feel like I’m doing something wrong? When does it get to the stage that I could start sleeping at normal times again? Like the social vids of people having 9pm to 9am. Am I doing something wrong? We have no routine currently other than I sleep 7pm to 11pm whilst he sits with baby, then up most of night. (He will stay up longer weekends but due to job and needing wits)
any advice?

First of all, block out this whole 'my baby sleeps all night' comments. Every baby is different, some sleep better, others just don't, no matter what you do. Mine only started sleeping through at the grand age of 2 years and 4 months (and by that I mean sometimes he still wakes up at 5am to come into our bed).

How is she growing now? If health professionals are happy with her growth, I would definitely let her lead the night time feeds. Let her sleep until she asks for a feed. Perhaps try formula only at night so your partner can step in as well? I know you said he needs to be on it for work, but maybe she won't actually need so many feeds at night anymore.

You need to look after yourself, lovely. I completely understand your anxiety about your DD weight issues, but you need to get a more sustainable plan in place re sleep.

Firstly I want to tell you what you are doing is ok. Babies are wakeful if you BF or not. Formula isn't a magic cure that makes them sleep. Don't worry about expressing it won't cause an infection. It'll keep your supply going. You are putting so much pressure on yourself and I wish someone had just told me it's ok. Babies wake. Some do sleep but all babies are totally different. What I can tell you is sleep does get better. It's awfully rough at this stage. The 4 month sleep regression is hard along side the 10 month one. But there just going through so many developmental stages they just need some extra support now and again. Xx

You say you intended to EBF? In which case, don’t offer even more formula. You can use expressing as a way to help transition to EBF. Can you make an appointment with an “IBCLC lactation consultant” to help with it.

No you are not wrong in not wanting to leave baby for any amount of time. 3 hours is a long time to be away from baby, I would not.

Ignore any unhelpful or negative comments from those around you.

Formula does not help babies sleep through the night, no. it is more normal for a baby to wake several times a night than to sleep through.

As people have commented, all sounds normal. You are brill!!!! Babies only have little tummies so they need feeding more, hence most don't sleep through the night. Have you a local breastfeeding group? You might find a bit of a chat and support from them useful. There are also a couple facebook groups such as Lucy Webber Feeding support that might help, I found her posts useful in giving me confidence that things were normal.

My baby is "an amazing sleepes" she is also a 1 year old.
at 3 months she was doing 3-4 hour stretches. What you are experiencing is totally normal and totally ending / improving soon.
What i would say is

• get some bf support
• do pump if you want i did and it never gave me mastitis.

At 3-4 months if you are still doing any formula/ do pump look at a dream feed.
I would go to bed about 7 my DH would do a dream feed (ie feed baby with bottle while still asleep) around 10-11 and then come up to bed with me. This mean i got 7-2/3 as a block

For every 1 baby that sleeps through the night and some do there will be 9 that dont. You are not the minority and 3 months is still young. My first never slept and still doesnt and he is an adult now. My younger two did okay but I had to work hard at a routine really hard and it wasnt until 4 to 6 months it started to click. You do you it will be fine.

You are doing brilliantly. My LO was feeding hourly at 3/4 months through the night. She's now 2 1/2 and wakes once in the night to come to us. Don't listen to others about their babies sleeping through.