Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He didn't show up for lunch

24 replies

mumofteenlife · 19/03/2023 18:16

Last night I asked DS18 if he wanted to come for lunch with me and two family members today. He said yes.

Long story short, he went out last night and never made it home til mid morning (I did get a Happy MD text, promising he'd be home for the lunch). He didn't get up for his alarm or when I tried to wake him. So he didn't come.

Last year he was working MD and met his gran, so stayed out with her and the family after work, and I spent the day and night alone, when we were meant to get take away and watch a film.

AIBU to expect some consideration by 18? My own mum died when I was little, so perhaps I expect too much for that reason.

OP posts:
Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 19/03/2023 18:18

I feel for you op. Currently sat here waiting for 2 similarly selfish ds's...

Hammili · 19/03/2023 18:20

4 DC. Have received 2 HMD texts.

oldest DD called at 10 - didn’t say HMD and asked for money. She got told to fuck off !

Dacadactyl · 19/03/2023 18:22

No you're not expecting too much.

MyOwnVolt · 19/03/2023 18:23

You were 18 once I presume? 18 year olds are knobs!

MichelleScarn · 19/03/2023 18:24

Who were the 2 family members? Is there conflict?

Anklespraying · 19/03/2023 18:25

I got one hmd from eldest ds. But I did make him a fantastic funky disco playlist for a disco party he held last night and he said it went down really well so I feel like my mothering skills have been appreciated. And my youth spent in 1970s discos did not go to waste after all.

Ilikewinter · 19/03/2023 18:25

Theres too much pressure to perform on mothers day .... its not like hes forgotton your birthday. Hes 18.

maddy68 · 19/03/2023 18:26

Teenagers are so selfish

He needs to know how hurt you are. But not today when he's hungover.

Pick the right time

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 19/03/2023 18:31

Bet they remember they have a dm when they want food /laundry /lifts.

AllOfThemWitches · 19/03/2023 18:35

I don't understand all this massive fuss over mother's day.

DizzyLizzyKizzy · 19/03/2023 18:39

Been through those years.... now they're older, lovely cards, messages, presents, and more importantly time!

They'll get there!

MadMadMadamMim · 19/03/2023 18:40

I'm really sorry - he sounds thoughtless.

My 18 yo DS (who can be an utter knob) is actually cooking tea for us tonight. Admittedly it's his own version of KFC and has taken him ages (we normally eat by 6pm) and he's just come in to say 'I think it'll be another 10 minutes. I cut one bit of chicken open but it was raw and I don't want to give you the shits for Mothers Day', but I'm touched that the thought is there.

He's not angelic by any means. I think teens are hit and miss to be honest.

Lesvacances · 19/03/2023 18:49

DizzyLizzyKizzy · 19/03/2023 18:39

Been through those years.... now they're older, lovely cards, messages, presents, and more importantly time!

They'll get there!

Really?
My 2 are both 30+ with dc of their own.
They message me first thing a 10 second hmd and then it seems they’ve done their duty.
Yesterday I got a detailed reminder of dates I need to babysit! Took a lot longer than the hmd message.

DrFoxtrot · 19/03/2023 18:50

I don't want to give you the shits for Mothers Day

Grin brilliant!

yikesanotherbooboo · 19/03/2023 19:02

I would be looking forward to seeing my teen if that had said they were coming. It's not so much the MD thing more the lack of respect and, in my case, disappointment.

DizzyLizzyKizzy · 19/03/2023 19:26

@Lesvacances yeah really!

Original poster
mumofteenlife · 19/03/2023 19:39

He's not forgotten, hence the text. He remembers cards and gifts, although not had any yet today. But he's out again just now.

I have other things on my mind, so I'm probably overthinking it.

Thanks for the replies

OP posts:
Windbeneathmybingowings · 19/03/2023 19:41

It’s always a race to the bottom on these threads. You get people say things like “you expect a card on Mother’s Day? What, are you the queen or something. I get a kick in the fanny and eat my slop as usual and I’m grateful for every second of it!”

YANBU

TruJay · 19/03/2023 19:45

“I get a kick in the fanny and eat my slop as usual and I’m grateful for every second of it!”

😂😂😂

Original poster
mumofteenlife · 19/03/2023 19:51

Windbeneathmybingowings · 19/03/2023 19:41

It’s always a race to the bottom on these threads. You get people say things like “you expect a card on Mother’s Day? What, are you the queen or something. I get a kick in the fanny and eat my slop as usual and I’m grateful for every second of it!”

YANBU

Thanks for this Grin

OP posts:
JudgeRudy · 19/03/2023 20:09

It is a bit selfish....but I think it's OK to be (a bit) selfish (sometimes). He shouldn't have said he'd do some and not follow through. He's not learnt his lesson from last year. He means to be nice but doesn't follow through. He probably loves you well enough and appreciates all you've done for him but ye doesn't want to be tied to a specific day to show this. He's probably got a banging head and wouldn't have enjoyed joining you. Would you still want him to come

Somanycats · 19/03/2023 20:26

Yes. Id want him to have not gone out last night, or gone out and not got drunk. No excuse for having a hangover when you have promised someone to meet them for lunch. Promising and not following through makes him a liar on this occasion. Not a good look.

BellePeppa · 19/03/2023 20:29

AllOfThemWitches · 19/03/2023 18:35

I don't understand all this massive fuss over mother's day.

I understand it more when you’re a new mum as it seems extra special but once your kids are adult I really don’t understand the fuss. My kids used to get me (cold) tea and soggy toast in bed when they were little and it was really heartwarming but they’re adults now and it’s kept it very low key (no card or presents needed).

BellePeppa · 19/03/2023 20:30

Windbeneathmybingowings · 19/03/2023 19:41

It’s always a race to the bottom on these threads. You get people say things like “you expect a card on Mother’s Day? What, are you the queen or something. I get a kick in the fanny and eat my slop as usual and I’m grateful for every second of it!”

YANBU

🤣

New posts on this thread. Refresh page