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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband never takes photos.

28 replies

PrincessToad · 19/03/2023 17:22

I have a great husband/father to my 2 sons. He's a true family man and does so much for us.

I know this feels petty complaining about it but he never takes photos of me with the kids.

We've been to the park today and he's took pictures of our kids and a picture of him and our eldest eating ice creams, which he's sent to me and his father but he never actively takes my picture, I've always got to ask which is quite tiring.

Is anyone else's other half like this?

Sounds petty reading it back but 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
SomePeopleAreJustBloodyStupid · 19/03/2023 17:24

Can't you take a selfie? Or just ask him. I, personally, loathe having my photo taken at all.

Ponoka7 · 19/03/2023 17:24

Just keep reminding him to offer.

Lemonandorange · 19/03/2023 17:24

Just ask him to take a picture when you want one.

FictionalCharacter · 19/03/2023 17:26

Loads of us have OHs like this, yes. There was a very similar thread very recently.

Original poster
PrincessToad · 19/03/2023 17:26

Get sick of asking to be honest. Would be nice for him to just do it off his own back for once, like I do for him.

OP posts:
Letsbekindplease · 19/03/2023 17:26

Mine doesn’t either. I have to ask. He has hundreds of pics of him with our kids but none of me and the kids. I don’t take it personally. He’s just not taking pics as much as me l. Just ask him

Coffeellama · 19/03/2023 17:29

It’s just not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, and asking isn’t ‘tiring’ really. You can always take a selfie if too tired to ask. YABU

GiveMe5 · 19/03/2023 17:30

My DH was the same and it really irritated me. I'd take loads of him with our DC, really natural, unposed ones. I had to keep reminding him to take pictures of me with the kids too. I'm not a fan of having my photo taken but want them to have pictures of us to look back on in years to come.

He's started taking photos now but they are shit and that annoys me more! He seems to miss all of the nice opportunities and instead takes random photos when we are just sitting together (usually DC look like naebody's bairns and I look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards)!

Original poster
PrincessToad · 19/03/2023 17:31

Coffeellama · 19/03/2023 17:29

It’s just not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, and asking isn’t ‘tiring’ really. You can always take a selfie if too tired to ask. YABU

I know it's not. I mean, I just feel a bit of a moaner asking again and again.

Probably just need someone to vent to about it.

OP posts:
Glitterblue · 19/03/2023 17:32

Mine is the same - in fact I said when DD is older and looks at the photos of our last holiday, she could be forgiven for thinking I wasn’t on it because there isn’t a single photo of me!

gannett · 19/03/2023 17:34

Some people just aren't photo-takers. My phone camera only ever has one or two in it each month. I prefer to enjoy moments as they happen rather than interrupting them to faff around with a phone and try to take a half-decent picture (I'm a terrible photographer and have wobbly hands). Photos have never ever been a priority for me tbh.

CombatBarbie · 19/03/2023 17:34

Glitterblue · 19/03/2023 17:32

Mine is the same - in fact I said when DD is older and looks at the photos of our last holiday, she could be forgiven for thinking I wasn’t on it because there isn’t a single photo of me!

Yup, I could say have said this about younger dds life!! Luckily eldest dd has my eye for photos and often sends me pics I was unaware of.... Which I prefer.

LaraLocket · 19/03/2023 17:36

I totally get this OP and you're not being unreasonable. I don't want my daughter to only have a load of selfies to look back on of her and me when she's older. My Dad took beautiful pictures of my Mum with me and my brother across our childhoods.

I got very upset with my partner fairly recently as there are virtually no photos of me whilst I was pregnant with our daughter - a baby I never thought I'd be able to have. Nor very many at all in the hospital after she was born. He took a video when she was hours old and I'm not in it. Yet when his family came to visit when she was born he made sure there were plenty of pictures taken with his parents and siblings. We've had several rows about taking photos as he very seldom takes pictures unless I ask. He's started to get better but it took me getting upset on several occasions for it to sink in that it was a problem.

LocalHobo · 19/03/2023 17:39

Snap! My DH will occasionally ask me to stand in front of random things but what I want are the unposed, spontaneous pics of just living life. I take photos of normal family life, showing him and DC laughing on the sofa together or similar. There is none like that of me.

TwoPointFourCatsAndDogs · 19/03/2023 17:45

Mine was/is like this. So few photos of me and DC’s when they were little. Really, really annoying.

ShouldIgoornot123 · 19/03/2023 17:46

Set up the timer and take your own photos. You’ll never change him

SquirrelRed · 19/03/2023 17:48

Yep my dh is the same. If I do ask him to take a photo of us it's always crap aswell, when I take a photo I make sure I take a few because one of the kids is always looking away/has their eyes closed etc so I need a few to get a half decent one. He will just take one and that's it, and surprise surprise its never great.

Aftjbtibg · 19/03/2023 17:49

My DH mentioned today that he has no photos of me with the kids and I said to him I KNOW! And why does he think I’m always asking him to take them of me and them

gannett · 19/03/2023 17:52

LocalHobo · 19/03/2023 17:39

Snap! My DH will occasionally ask me to stand in front of random things but what I want are the unposed, spontaneous pics of just living life. I take photos of normal family life, showing him and DC laughing on the sofa together or similar. There is none like that of me.

Is this really an expectation? In 10 years I've never taken a random spontaneous picture of DP (and I think he only has a couple of me). Neither of us are bothered about this. If he wanted me to take more random unposed photos he would have to tell me (and I'd think it a bit odd).

CombatBarbie · 19/03/2023 17:56

gannett · 19/03/2023 17:52

Is this really an expectation? In 10 years I've never taken a random spontaneous picture of DP (and I think he only has a couple of me). Neither of us are bothered about this. If he wanted me to take more random unposed photos he would have to tell me (and I'd think it a bit odd).

Show quote history

Not an expectation but most of the best pics I have of anyone are taken unstaged.....

Lemons1571 · 19/03/2023 17:56

PrincessToad · 19/03/2023 17:31

I know it's not. I mean, I just feel a bit of a moaner asking again and again.

Probably just need someone to vent to about it.

Show quote history

I don’t think the OP means it’s actually tiring, as in physically tired. It’s more that it’s wearing.

Sleepless1096 · 19/03/2023 18:30

Mine was/is like this. So much as I disliked the concept, I got a selfie stick. My 5yo and I have had lots of fun with it together, and now we have loads of cheesy photos of me, him and the baby. They're not very good but we like them 😁! We stick the best/funniest ones on the fridge.

DappledThings · 19/03/2023 18:34

I hardly ever remember to take photos of DH with the DC, he doesn't really think of it either. Have a few selfies. If he wanted me to try and remember to be spontaneous with my camera that would be hard for me to remember. And having to train myself to be spontaneous somewhat takes the point out of it.

Imnotdrinkingmerlot · 19/03/2023 18:39

YANBU - My dp is the same and it really pisses me off. All photos of me are selfies which means no natural unposed ones which I like.

I do think it matters. I have a poor visual memory and want these to look .back on. I also want the dc to have pics to help them remember what we did together. Photos do influence things you remember. Explain and tell dh how it upsets you. Made no difference in my case but then we have bigger issues.

Ladybrrrd · 19/03/2023 18:45

I'd be the same. I very rarely take photos, don't like them of myself. DH also hates photos and rarely takes them. [shrug] Just not important to some people.

If it's important to you, you need to ask IMO.