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AIBU?

To say something, or not to say something?

20 replies

Cocacolachick · 19/03/2023 15:51

I posted last week about my job and my boss here!

So the latest is that I found a very unprofessional note and photo on the work phone. It’s from her personal phone, but the work phone is connected to iCloud so I found them.

First, she left a passive aggressive note in the notes app, listing things that she didn’t like about me. Things she has never brought up to me. Eg “looking scruffy at work” (nothing ever mentioned), “leaving covid tests all over the table” (I left one), “whacking the heating up” (our office is 8 degrees) and “asking to work from home once” (which is legally not a sackable offence”).
I also found her screenshot a text from me asking a very reasonable request. She offered for me to have the next day off after she sacked me, I later texted to ask if I could take it as holiday and she said no. She screenshotted my text and sent it to all her friends, and there was a text come through from her friend saying “she’s just one of these annoying people who doesn’t care” (clearly about me).

So now I feel super uncomfortable.
Tomorrow, I’m seeing a client who is my bosses best friends son. So I will see the best friend. Who undoubtably knows everything.
I feel SO uncomfortable seeing her, and so uncomfortable being there

Garden leave is a possibility in my contract.
i have 6 weeks left of notice and feel so uncomfortable.

Now here’s my question - do I say something or request garden leave? It’s hell going in, but I’m scared she won’t pay me at all and dismiss me instantly and I don’t yet have a job lined up.
What do I do??

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Cocacolachick · 19/03/2023 16:03

Bump

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Chickenly · 19/03/2023 16:07

Cocacolachick · 19/03/2023 16:03

Bump

Did you just “bump” after 10 minutes? Your post is pretty long and links to another one which is also long. People probably haven’t read it yet.

Yes, tell your boss you’ve been snooping (because you know full well that you’ve been snooping). Why does it matter anymore? Focus on finding a new job and stop caring what she thinks.

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Cocacolachick · 19/03/2023 16:08

Snooping? It was on the work phone

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DojaPhat · 19/03/2023 16:09

Is the work phone a shared phone that you use too or were you snooping?

Take pictures of what you have seen. Stay professional at all times when seeing her best friend's son.

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Cocacolachick · 19/03/2023 16:11

It’s a shared phone. I went on the photos app to find something clinical when I found it. I want to stay professional but it’s so hard knowing what I’ve found and knowing her best friend has probably been spoken to about me

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thegirlyupnorth · 19/03/2023 16:12

Can you go to HR? Is she HR? If so confront her and ask for 3 months severance pay and walk away.

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LadyHaHaHeeHaw · 19/03/2023 16:14

Is it her own business?

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Cocacolachick · 19/03/2023 16:15

It’s her own business no HR

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CheezePleeze · 19/03/2023 16:16

Reading your other thread, I would ask for gardening leave.

Even with the one-sided accounts, I'm afraid you don't sound like a great employee, so it might be better for you both if you parted ways.

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Burnamer · 19/03/2023 16:18

Why on earth would she give you gardening leave? It’s something designed to protect the business if the leaver has valuable knowledge of IP or valuable relationships. It’s designed to let those cool before moving to a competitor.
I don’t know if she can dismiss you instantly but I suspect the best practical route is to be professional whilst searching for a new job.

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MunchMonster · 19/03/2023 16:21

Just get your head down and get on with it. You should let her know that she's left those notes where you can see them though.

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DrManhattan · 19/03/2023 16:23

I wouldn't even meet the mates son. I would just leave.

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Dishwashersaurous · 19/03/2023 16:25

You were given loads of advice on the other thread.

Your are in a toxic Work environment. But you only have six weeks left.

Focus all your energy on getting a new job.

Do not talk to your boss unless essential.

Do the bare minimum

Stop emotionally investing anymore in this situation

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Dontfeedtheseagulls · 19/03/2023 16:28

You know perfectly well she won't pay you if you don't work.

She may also then refuse a reference.

I'm sorry but unless she asks you to leave early with pay and /or you get another job then you just need to suck it up.

It's pointless trying to discuss this with her and will only make it worse.

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CombatBarbie · 19/03/2023 16:37

My HR head says to refuse to see the client if the parent has to be present due to conflict of interest.

I'd also be pressing for gardening leave with the evidence, she is toxic.

I get your wary for a reference but in the ones I've done I've only confirmed dates of employment.


I would actually just walk and leave her high and dry. And leave employee reviews on glass doors, LinkedIn etc but I'm PA like that.

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Cocacolachick · 19/03/2023 17:35

I know I said I need to keep my head down and it’s just hard to. I don’t want her to have to get away with it and I just feel so uncomfortable

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Dishwashersaurous · 19/03/2023 18:13

She's not acted well but trying to get revenge or justification is going to make you miserable.

So don't invest emotionally in the situation.

Accept what has happened, even though its rubbish, and move on

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Cocacolachick · 19/03/2023 18:56

I think the worst part is, it’s just us two in the office. So it’s 10000x worse, I’m crying each morning before work. I know I only have 6/7 weeks left but struggling so much

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Dontfeedtheseagulls · 19/03/2023 19:52

I think there's a good chance she may ask you to leave earlier. Have you found another job?

You just need her to think that this is her idea...has she advertised your job?

If you can do anything to get that position filled quickly then I suspect she will let you leave sooner.

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Ceryneianhind · 19/03/2023 20:05

In your other thread you said

I work in healthcare, a very small company. My boss and I are the only workers, but she works part time and I’m the only full time worker. Essentially I’m making all the money which is fine but she’s very money driven and not particularly bothered about her employees.


even that 1 part of the paragraph - you feel you are making all the money even though it's her business. You're also making it slightly confusing where you say 'employees' but you are the only one?

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