Ways to educate useless partners for Mother’s Day fail (lighthearted)

[Hopskipnsigh]

Following on from my last post.

How do we deal with those thoughtless partners that have ignored and made zero effort on behalf of young children for mothers who deserve recognition today?

Just leave them. If they don’t make their partners feel appreciated as a mother and partner everyday, what’s the point of a half arsed attempt one day a year?

‘Just leave them’

Ah, Mumsnet, where breaking up your family and home is as easy as nipping to the shop for a pint of milk.

Agree. I wouldn’t stay with a useless, thoughtless “partner.” What’s the point? You get one life, why waste it feeling uncared for and musing on ways to “educate” them or get your own back.

Father’s Day is after Mother’s Day, my dh always made the effort knowing I would match him in a couple of months.

My kids are now teens and he understandably hasn’t done much this year, kids are still in bed.. not sure what the answer for that is.

What is there to deal with?

I mean, I don’t think it’s quite “just leave them” as a pp suggested but if your partner doesn’t care then they don’t care. What can you actually do to make them suddenly stop being thoughtless?

I’m saying they don’t care to be mean but they just don’t. So I guess the only thing to do is to accept they won’t change and concentrate on doing something lovely for yourself instead.

TBH OP there is nothing “lighthearted” about having a boyfriend or husband who is apathetic and has little respect for the mother of his children. I can’t imagine that it feels very nice.

Remind them.
Send a link to something they can order on behalf of the dcs

This is actually about the relationship between dc and their mother so get the dc onboard and ask for lots of Mother's Day cuddles, go and do something nice with them, stop off at the shops with them and say 'let's buy some flowers for mummy because it's mothers day' or 'let's get some nice chocolates for mummy and we can all share them for mothers day'
Show them that you matter.

”leave them” may be sound advice in the eyes of many but that won’t help those feeling disappointed and let down today so a lighthearted post to cheer them up and perhaps make them smile may be a good tonic.
Humour can soften pain and sadness.

I think people need to be clear in their expectations. Lay it out, what you want, what you expect. Then if they fall short of that then have a conversation about why that happened. Communicating needs it key in a relationship.

People's expectations of what a good Mother's Day is vary wildly as do the ages of the children involved. Be honest about what you want. Same with birthdays, Christmas and anniversaries.

Personally what I got today is my dream, beautiful sentiments written by my sons who are 20 and 17. A cup of tea in bed whilst chatting to them and a lovely lunch at home with my family. Sadly both Dh and I no longer have our own Mums so it can feel a bit sad but we talk about them over lunch and what lovely Mums they were to us.

They should get a nanny 🤣

I helped the children make cards, cupcakes and choose flowers for today and make sure there was milk, coffee and nice bread in for breakfast and the husband didn’t have to lift a single finger in for Mother’s Day prep.

if I hadn’t have done those things, I’m not really sure the Mum would have got anything.

Well it's either leave and be happier...or stay and...well you get the idea. These thoughtless types never change. Leaving is easier in the long run, unless you think that children should grow up watching a poor relationship like this?

As a child of divorce, no I do not, but the impact of splitting up a family is not to be underestimated. In my case I got to grow up watching a poor relationship (on both sides I might add) AND then have to watch my parents go through a messy, traumatic and painful split, having to move schools as a result, not being able to stay in our home and having to live between two tiny rented places, and still even now at 37 feel guilt about splitting my time between the two of them, whose house to stay at when I visit etc, not going up for Christmas because it’s not fair on one parent or whatever. I do think the ‘LTB’ trope on Mumsnet gets a bit old.

Shouldn't have to lay out exactly what's expected, it's not hard to get a card n some wee gifts the recipient will enjoy. Being thoughtful costs nothing.

My DH is not useless but sometimes misses the mark. I booked my own table last week or he'd have left it too late. Made sure my youngest knew what flowers I liked and pointed out my fave chocs.

Isn't that sad though, he doesn't have to point to his favourite pint near fathers day..
Why should you have to sort it for mothers day?