Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

No child this mothers day

30 replies

Hopskipnsigh · 19/03/2023 08:29

I lost my only child to cancer but that doesn’t give me the right to tell anyone that they are lucky to still have their children and shouldn’t complain about having no effort or gifts shown to them this Mother’s Day.

It could be argued that at least I’m lucky enough to have experienced the joy of being a mother when others haven’t had the same blessing bestowed upon them.

Stop belittling people’s feelings and sadness by telling them they should be grateful to still have their kids or mother.

I would be bloody upset and annoyed if my child was still here and I never got acknowledgment for all the love and care provided.
A cup of tea and a hug goes a long way.

Also, some mums are just pants.

It isn’t for me to give permission to moan or not moan but I just wanted you to know that from my point of view, your feelings are valid and I wouldn’t feel you should be grateful and dismiss or invalidate your feelings.

Happy Mothers Day to all those that feel it applies.

Happy tomorrow day for all those that just want this day to pass.

OP posts:
Marlena1 · 19/03/2023 08:32

So sorry for your loss and I hope the day goes OK, xxx

PurpleFlower1983 · 19/03/2023 08:35

I’m so sorry for your loss OP x

DustyLee123 · 19/03/2023 08:36

I wish there was a like button. 💐

7Worfs · 19/03/2023 08:38

Also, some mums are just pants.

That made me laugh, in an otherwise very heavy message.
I hope the weather is nice wherever you are, and you have a good Sunday. ☕️

RedHelenB · 19/03/2023 08:41

Sorry for your loss and hope you have chance to remember your happy memories of being a mum today.

WhereIsMyRefund · 19/03/2023 08:42

I can tell you were a lovely mum to your child. Are there any stories you want to share with us about them? I understand if not of course. Happy Mother’s Day to you too x

ThisOneNow · 19/03/2023 08:47

I'm so sorry - this is such a tough day for those who have lost children. 💐 My first mother's day was the day before my DD's funeral.

premicrois · 19/03/2023 08:49

OP you are so right, people shouldn't be grateful for a shite day simply because others have lost. I can say this easily because I haven't suffered that loss (I do have a pants mum) you are such a beautiful person to be able to say it having lost, it must be so very hard.

I am truly sorry Flowers

jays · 19/03/2023 08:51

I am so, so sorry for your loss OP. What a big heart you have to have taken time out to write such a thought provoking post, I agree 100% with every word you said. You’re in my thoughts today.

EsmeSusanOgg · 19/03/2023 08:53

Hugest, hugest internet-hugs to you.

helpyhelperton · 19/03/2023 08:53

Sending love to you.

StaySpicy · 19/03/2023 08:57

So sorry for your loss. Flowers

You speak so much truth. If only everyone was as wise! I hope you do something nice for yourself today.

Skyeheather · 19/03/2023 09:00

FlowersDaffodilDaffodilDaffodil

Anothernamename · 19/03/2023 09:01

I hope tomorrow comes quickly for you OP. I will hold you in my thoughts today. 🌻💐

Dontjudgeme101 · 19/03/2023 09:04

💐💐💐

StopGo · 19/03/2023 09:04

I am so very sorry for your loss 💐. My heart breaks on each and every Mothering Sunday for my wonderful MIL. The loss of her eldest child (DH) is something she will never get over but she bears her grief with such dignity.

DC1214 · 19/03/2023 09:06

Thank you for these words. I too know child loss and understand how complex the feelings towards others can be 💜

Testina · 19/03/2023 09:07

I’m sorry for your loss ❤️ and very well said 👏🏻

SomePeopleAreJustBloodyStupid · 19/03/2023 09:08

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how terrible it must be to lose a child. Flowers

Allshallbewell2021 · 19/03/2023 09:28

OP, how devastating a loss for you. I have no way of imagining how that must be for you.
This day must be very hard for so many people.
I do resent the huge commercial pressure but I do see that we should of course appreciate the work mothers do and those who stand in for mothering and make up for the pants mothers.
But social media will be full of look what I got - and I hate that too. This must contribute to many people feeling awful today.
I far prefer a homemade card and some daffs or some food prepped. The big expensive bouquets seem lovely but also pandering to the Mother's Day industry
All the best to you.

MoreSleepPleasee · 19/03/2023 09:38

Happy Mothers Day ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I have no words. I feel my words wouldn't ever be enough to explain how my heart hurts for you from your post. It made me have a little cry this morning. We are all thinking of you and your child op. As soon as my teen wakes up and decides to come out of his pit (probably about 12pm) I'm going to hug him so tight.

JenniferBarkley · 19/03/2023 10:05

This post should be pinned at the top of every thread today.

I'm so sorry for your loss OP. My cousin died from cancer in her early 20s, the week after mother's day. The day always makes me think of the flowers she got my aunt, still sitting on the sideboard as we gathered.

Gentle hugs to you today. Flowers

DancyNancy · 19/03/2023 10:10

I'm very very sorry that you lost your child. Thank you for the lovely message to other mothers, and I hope you feel the energy and love from all the strangers here who genuinely send thoughts to you ❤

Hopskipnsigh · 19/03/2023 10:12

Well I am overwhelmed at the kind and heartfelt responses. Am I really on mumsnet right now? 😉
Thank you. You have made me smile and given me a fuzzy warm feeling… I know, that wasn’t a very mumsnetty response either.

I’m honestly ok. My thoughts are with those that are struggling today.

I have read some posts that show some wonderful women are feeling taken for granted as their DH’s have not bothered on behalf of young kids.
My advice wouldn’t be to ignore Father’s Day as this will reinforce to the children that no effort is fine. Instead, I would help them with handmade cards and gifts. Raising thoughtful children is more important than getting one over DH on Father’s Day…
That said…
The ignorant and selfish DH does indeed need a lesson. 😁

Time for a new post…
Ready?

OP posts:
thaisweetchill · 19/03/2023 10:18

Hope you have a lovely day as possible today. Do what makes you happy ❤️

Swipe left for the next trending thread