5 years ago (actually almost 6 now) my DD made an allegation to a teacher at secondary school that an older pupil had taken advantage of her.
She had just turned 13 and he was 15. She said he forced her off the bus to a local park and kissed her and touched her inappropriately.
The first I heard about it was when I was called in for a meeting with the safeguarding lead to reassure me that there was no touching under the clothes and that the boy would be spoken to. It was implied that DD had perhaps done something she'd regretted and that this was all unfortunate but nothing to really worry about.
My DD would not talk about it with me and I never really knew whether it was because she was traumatised/ embarrassed or if she had exaggerated and didn't want to keep bringing it up.
So I took my lead from the safeguarding lead and didn't think to take it any further. The school said the boy was a nice boy and would not have caused any upset deliberately. I also had links with the safeguarding lead in a professional capacity and didn't want to make a fuss if my DD just wanted to forget it.
In hindsight, I can see that I didn't deal with it very well. I must say that I never once questioned her honesty or suggested that she was exaggerating. I always told her that I thought this boy was disgusting and that I wished lots of awful things on him and his family. I reassured her she'd done the right thing by telling someone at school etc.
Anyway tonight she's come home from a night out and has been talking to a friend of a friend from school. This boy that she accused has since had multiple accusations made against him and is apparently going to face a trial for rape. She sort of shrugged when she told me and I can see again that she doesn't want to talk about what happened all those years ago,
But I am suddenly so angry. Maybe more with myself than anyone else. But I know that the safeguarding lead is still in the same role at the school and I really want to let her know that this 'nice boy' is obviously not such a nice man.
This is not something I can discuss with anyone in real life because I didn't tell anyone. My DP (DD's dad) is aware of what happened but is asleep next to me and I don't want to wake him up).
I don't know what I'm asking really but just wanted to see what others think.