My ex-husband has arranged a surprise for tomorrow..... swimming with our kids so say as a mother's day treat. This is a treat for the kids, not me. I will have to get everything ready, help them get changed at the pool and have a load of extra washing afterwards and I also don't want to play happy families or go swimming with my ex who was mentallly abusive and manipulative to me. I said that I didn't want to go due to all the extra work it will be for me and that I don't want to do all of that on mother's day. Now he is telling the kids I've ruined the surprise. I suggested he take them, but he won't do that and actually two would probably refuse anyway. AIBU to not go? I know the kids will be upset with me, but I really want just one day of rest. There are four of them and so I'm always busy.