To leave party early?

[Myella89]

A close friend has a big birthday this weekend with multiple events. She has invited another close friend of mine (friend 2), who is travelling down especially. I will be one of the few people that friend 2 knows although she is social so will be fine. I want to go but have been feeling under the weather so don’t want a very late one (I think friend 1 will be fine with this, a few friends have done similar at my big bdays and I appreciated the effort to come in the first place). I am worried that I will have to stay the whole to keep friend 2 company though and feel a little anxious because I didn’t invite her yet feel like I will need to stay for this reason - for various reasons I have a really hectic weekend and feel a bit stretched between different obligations and friends…

is it bad form to leave a little earlier than the end? Especially if my friend won’t really know other people?

Judge it when you're there surely?

If you want to leave early check if friend 2 wants to come with you or stay.

You might be having so much fun you don't want to leave.

Friend 2 might want to leave early.

Friend 1 might want you all to leave early.

If lots of people are leaving early and friend 1 seems upset then don't leave early.

Thanks - friend 2 can’t come with me as she is staying elsewhere. I feel a bit weird about it as friend 1 basically invited friend 2 who she barely knows as a nice gesture and while it will be nice to see friend 2, I had prior plans this weekend and sort of feel like I know need to make sure she is having a really good time if that makes sense? Even tho I have a lot of other competing responsibilities this weekend! Wish it had been checked with me first given that I’m the one in the middle but maybe that is selfish

I don’t understand the bit about prior plans when it was your friends big birthday weekend and you planned to attend that. Anyway never mind, play it by ear.

I voted that yanbu HOWEVER it does sound like regardless of friend 2 you don't really want to go to the party?
If friends invite me to 'big' birthdays I don't generally plan a hectic weekend around them as I know I couldn't cope with the party as well (medical condition) so I try and prepare myself to go all out for the party!!
If your friend is important to you I would see if I could rearrange anything else in the diary so I could spend more time at her birthday.

This always happens to me. No plans for ages then 2 or 3 people have big birthdays on the same weekend. It’s fun but exhausting

@Mortimercat friends bday is from 5pm-1am. I have a family commitment all day Sunday and Saturday morning. So I can still do both but requires some planning. Family commitment was booked before date was saved for friend’s bday.

@GoldilocksIsALittleSod I definitely want to and will go, but just happened that two important things (family commitment and this) happened on the same weekend. For my big bday, another close friend came out for dinner but not for drinks afterwards. These things happen, I don’t hold it against them but in the context of that I don’t think my plan is that unreasonable.

Well it's Saturday morning now so that's the first one out of the way. I'm sure you can leave around 10.30 and nobody will care

Until 1am?

I'd be heading off 10-11pm. If it's multiple events then whatever matches with moving location (onto a nightclub?) around that time.

But I am 50 so just people know I don't drink much now and usually leave to get a 10/11pm tube after meals -still not home until midnight.

I usually go to the party at the venue whatever and then go home when everyone goes to the nightclub. I don’t drink much so it’s just not fun