WIBU to not volunteer with this charity after this?

[FrenchFancie]

This all happened last summer but it’s been playing on my mind a bit recently and I’m wondering if I WBU.

years ago I volunteered for a charity working with vulnerable young adults and adults. I really loved the work but family life got in the way and I stopped.

I reapplied to go back and had a zoom interview with one of the people responsible for vetting the new recruits - not a person I had known before but then it’s been over 10 years. The interview itself went well enough, the interviewer was nice enough if a little odd, but in the background behind the interviewer was walking around the interviewers partner wearing only a pair of (not very well fitting!) boxer shorts. I found it really odd and distracting and the interviewer carried on like everything was normal - didn’t blur the background at all or anything. I just kept seeing this semi-naked guy walking around!!

(Should also point out that it wasn’t during the heatwave, in fact I had joked with the interviewer that I was cold!)

anyway, the charity has to be very big on safeguarding because of the type of people helped - part of the interview was spent talking about this at length!

i felt very uncomfortable by the end and didn’t go forward with my application, but I didn’t tell the charity why.

WIBU with this? Should I have just sucked it up and carried on, after all it’s not like the interviewer could help it that his partner was in the background? Or should I have spoken to the charity about why I dropped out?

You can not volunteer for any reason you like. It's polite to tell them why though really.

It wouldn't have bothered me. If I wanted to volunteer there I'd have just ignored it.

however, if you felt it was such a big deal that you no longer wanted to volunteer, you really should have been honest about why, but it's too late now to do anything about that.

I agree that if you felt uncomfortable because of the safeguarding aspect you should speak up. They probably hadn't even considered the fact you could see the other person.

What an odd thing to post about almost a year after it happened 🤔

Did he even know it was happening? If he had his back to the room maybe he didn't realise

But, you can choose not to volunteer for any reason so you aren't being unreasonable

Is this a wind up?
You were applying to volunteer with vulnerable young adults and adults yet failed to point out someone walking around in their underwear
I think you may have failed the vetting procedure anyway

I think this is an odd thing to post about so much after the event (assuming posting means caring).
I'm also surprised you didn't mention this to the interviewer either at the time or immediately afterwards. I would imagine they did not know. Its probable either she didn't know he was in the background (because she's facing away from him) or she thought she had her background on.
If it's something you'd like to do maybe try again. Might be new staff again.

BTW you seem shocked that someone would be walking around in their undies. It's pretty common. Many adults are (un)dressed like this especially at weekends. With utility costs weather might impact a bit now but perfectly normal.

I wouldnt have liked that, that would have told me all I needed to know about the interviewers standards

Ha ha. I'm imagining some sureal scenarios where interviewers husband walks into view in increasingly alarming situations.
Scene 1 undies
Scene 2 with a toddler under his arms
Scene 3 carrying a machete
Scene 4 carrying handcuffs and an electric drill
Scene 5 silently throttling a young child
Scene 6 rolled up carpet with corpse
......just walking silently to and frow in background.

very unprofessional of the interviewer - but why on earth did you not let the charity know your reason for withdrawing at the time?
It would be very odd to do it now - person may have moved on, or advised that his/her activity is inappropriate and told to conduct interviews in a more professional manner, - but I suppose they will know if they've dealt with it in the intervening period.

I was too if I'm honest,

It had to be a test , who wouldn't mention something like that ???

I think you should 100% tell them why.

I went through a process of volunteering with a charity that supports victims of crime. Needless to say they are (rightly) very big on confidentiality.

I went through all the training and was earmarked to leapfrog to the 'next stage' of supporting, which was dealing with victims of domestic abuse. Part of the training process was listening to my manager handling live calls, so I could understand how to handle a call from start to finish.

I was linked in to two DA support calls, and given full spec on the victim, without their knowledge. They had no idea I was listening in to their support call. I was honestly appalled.

It genuinely left me reeling that these two poor women were pouring their hearts out to a trusted support that they had built a relationship with, with no idea that I was sat listening to every word.

I stopped the training programme at that point, stopped the volunteering with that organisation and told them why. They said it was standard practice 🤷🏻‍♀️ really pissed me off as the reason I was volunteering in the first place is that my stepchildren had been victims of abuse and I'd seen first hand the issues it causes with trust, yet this supposed incredible charity were prepared to shit all over that at the training stage.

Not for me.