To tell DC to stay in bed til a reasonable hour at the weekend?

[Bemyclementine]

Dc aged 6 and 7. Had to wake the 6 yr old up every day this week at 7.30, tired and grumpy. Then getting ready for school is an ordeal. 7 yr old gets up OK at 7.

Today, 6yr old wakes me up at 6.20. Talks at me, then goes downstairs. Back in seconds to complain 7 yr old has got to the TV first and is watching YouTube . YouTube is not allowed at bloody 6.20am.

So then they start playing, noisily.

Aibu to tell them to stay in bed and quiet til 7?? I'm shattered. I never get to just wake up naturally. Always the alarm on weekdays and a child on weekends. I don't want to sleep in til 9. Just not be woken up for no reason.

At bedtime last night I told them not to wake me up. Stay in their room until 7am. Read, listen quietly to a story. I dont know why this is suddenly an issue.

Because they're older now and need a bit more "input" than reading and stories, I expect.

That doesn't mean you have to get up but maybe be a bit more realistic in terms of what they can and can't do. At 6 and 7 they're more than capable of sorting a basic breakfast and watching cartoons quietly in the mornings.

Just set the TV up so they can only access kids stuff and limit the volume so it doesn't wake you.

I get what people are saying about YouTube in general. However, ds1 watches a very specific channel which I am not worried about at all. He knows that's what he's allowed to watch. Ds2 however definitely needs supervision.

@coffeecupsandwaxmelts they were doing this but argue within minutes .

Ah okay - and I assume you took the TV time away as a consequence?

We had an absolute no getting up until 7 rule. They could read in bed, or look at pictures (til they learnt to read!). I was so strict on it as I need my sleep due to health condition and DH works shifts so sleep was very precious. We used a magic star (crappy IKEA star on a plug timer) that they had to wait to come on before they left their beds. They could then go downstairs and get some breakfast, on weekends it would be cereal or toast so they could make themselves rather than porridge.

I worked so well. They never challenged it.

We also had a no screens in the morning rule. This made a huge difference as they stopped waking up to go on screens and used to play They now are teenagers and 2 of them won't be awake until midday!

My DD7 (just 7) knows if it's early (clock on her yoto) she can read or listen to an audiobook but not to come in before 7.30/8 on a weekend unless something urgent.

Growing up we were never allowed downstairs on a morning until an adult was awake. Because I was the oldest, when my siblings woke up I would keep them entertained to allow our mam to have a lie in. Our parents made this easier by allowing us to have a small TV in our room. Not smart, obviously, but we had a stack of DVD's and we would alternate between who could pick the film, then just chilled in one bed together till I woke mam up.

Could you get a small TV in their room and put parental locks on the smart apps?

Not unreasonable at all.
My DC has a gro clock that goes yellow at 7am. Until then, she stays in bed and reads a book quietly. She's done this from being 4. I don't understand why people think 6 is too young?!!

@QuackMooBaaOink the 6 yr old has always been more of a sleeper than the 7yr old. Previously, 6 yr old would stay asleep, 7 yr old would get up and watch TV quietly. It's only now they are both waking that it's a problem.

I think some kids are just more malleable and pliable than others, @QuackMooBaaOink

My DS is only two. I know Gro Clocks are always suggested on here but for him, he’d just cry until DH or I got him up. I’m really hoping the clock change tomorrow helps as he hasn’t slept past 6 for weeks and weeks, apart from once when he ended up only going to bed at 8:40 due to getting stuck in traffic on our way back from somewhere. Even then, he woke at half six so it wasn’t a dramatic difference! He does sleep through though so that’s the trade off for me.

As he gets older, I’d really like him to be able to be ‘trained’ to stay in his room until around 7, but the problem is that if he doesn’t, what do you do? I’m more sympathetic to this now as a parent, because if rewards or sanctions make no difference - and I can well imagine for DS at four it wouldn’t be a deliberate disobeying of ‘rules’ or flouting of ‘boundaries’, just that he’d forget.

What works on one child won't work on another.

One 4yo is a very different kettle of fish to two older children - for one, they can egg each other on, but they're also older and more capable and need different parenting methods.

@coffeecupsandwaxmelts indeed! I have 2 very different children.

Tabby unreasonable . I did this with D’s ( he has adhd) he could read but definitely would have been worse if he was allowed down to watch Tv

At 6 and 7 they should be able to get up and play - quietly.

The my don't need to stay in bed but they do need to behave and not disturb you.

I agree with the not going downstairs rule. My DS and DSC all know to play in their rooms. Even my SEN DSC knows he’s doesn’t go downstairs without an adult and stays in his room. None of them are “quiet” per se, but it’s a much nicer slow start to the morning to hear them playing from 6-7. We also have no screens in the house so I agree that they should be banned in the morning as they just encourage the early wake ups.

Ours have clocks in their room and understand we don't go downstairs til 7, if they wake up after 530 they can play in their rooms or together, or play on iPads etc. They can't tell the time but they're digital clocks so if it starts with a 7, they're all good to come and bother us 🤣

Just let them have YouTube once in a while for a lie in. We are up for swimming on a Saturday morning so on a Sunday he's welcome to get up and have screen time if it means we get to sleep past 7am. We then do family activities on a Sunday afternoon so I don't see his chill morning as a bad things we all need time to wind down

We got the one you could turn the time off ;). Used until he was about 10 lol

Gro clocks don’t work until they can understand ‘reason‘ so approx 2.5-3 years old

@NameInUseAlreadyAgain I mean, they have a clock and go by that rather than the groclock now.

I'm not going to allow screens in the bedroom before breakfast, all that will happen is they'll get up earlier and earlier.

Wear ear plugs. They can always come get you if really needed.

Make a rule about staying in room quietly reading, coloring until x time.

I'm old like dinosaur before screens and internet.

We had Saturday morning cartoons quietly with bowl of cereal. Sunday was reading or drawing quietly.
There were all 5 of us girls and are lifelong avid readers.

Yanbu. Dd was about 7 when we started letting her come downstairs on her own to watch tv and make herself some cereal.

Not for hours I may add

She is now 7 and has a younger sister and they both still do it no problem.

But again, what works on one child won't work for another. Surely you have to realise that?

You haven't found some magical way to parent - you've just stumbled on a method that works for your children and stuck with it, which is great - but it's not the solution for everyone. If it was, threads like this wouldn't exist