Should I try to go and see her

[ShouldIgoornot123]

My mum, who I don’t have a great relationship with, is in hospital. Had a fall, has underlying conditions and isn’t doing very well. The ward is shut because norovirus. I have an awful relationship with my stepdad. It’s a five hour round trip and I’ve been told in no uncertain terms by charge nurses that I can not see her. Not even for five minutes. I’m being bombarded with people saying if it was my. Mum I wouldnt accept it, can’t you just go and make a poster and show her from the car park etc. Just go and wave. Etc.

im very much struggling with how I feel about it as an only child with an awful relationship talking to people who seem to have much better relationships saying what’s they Would do in my shoes.

help

These are all so hopeful thank you j was starting to think I was going a bit mad. I work in quite a small office where everyone knows everyone’s business and people were talking about Mother’s Day and asking if I would be going up. I said no and I fel it was met with amazement that I could be so cruel

Just stay home and keep up with the phone calls , some of your colleagues / acquaintances are mad .

Don’t forget to update your Socials too to get lots of OMG Hun your such a loverly daughter type comments too!

I’m being bombarded with people saying if it was my. Mum I wouldnt accept it,

"Bully for you, but it's not your mum, it's mine, & you don't know the first thing about how difficult she is, so can you stop trying to shame me into inappropriate action with your virtue signalling?"

If the ward is closed, it's closed. The car park idea is nuts. It's probably a multi-storey and unlikely her ward would look over it and if she's immobile how would she even get to the window to see it.

Wait for the ward to reopen and decide what you want to do about the trip then.

Can you speak to her on the phone if you want to?

Do they think you're starring in Love Actually ?
It's a ridiculous waste of time and effort and I wouldn't recommend it, even if you were close to your DM.

Absolutely unnecessary bollocks from your work colleagues / family / acquaintances etc. This isn't their circus, they don't get a say.

And I'm fairly sure that the nursing staff have enough to deal with, without you adding to the pressure (I mean this kindly). They don't want relatives turning up, despite being told they cannot visit patients.

YY to previous suggestions of Zoom / Teams calls, even a WhatsApp call if your mum is able. That said, you don't have the best relationship - do you actually want to speak to her?