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Original poster

Intrusive thoughts

44 replies

user1484167681 · 17/03/2023 23:18

I thought this was normal, but now I’m having doubts so wanted to check my sanity. When I see something mildly unsafe, or even normal every day activities, I imagine the worst case outcome. All the time.

So, for example, when my 2yo goes up the (carpeted) stairs, I “see” in my mind’s eye the child falling and rolling down to the tiled floor and smacking their head. A lot of these things involve falling and getting hurt, but my mind jumps to an extreme reaction. Another example - wondering whether I might / should drive somewhere, but then imagining I end up in a horrible crash. I can see these things almost like a movie in my head, sort of superimposed on reality. I don’t just imagine the concept of it, I see it. If I go on the tube, I imagine the person closest to the tunnel jumping in front of the train.

I thought this happened to everyone and it’s taken me literally years to suddenly realise this is probably not normal. It doesn’t impact my actions, eg I would still take that drive, but it makes me very nervy about child safety and what I rationally know are normal everyday activities. I also did myself picturing child abuse cases from the news and this disturbs my mood and sleep excessively (must stop reading the news…).

Am I normal? Sensitive? Or need professional help??

OP posts:
Original poster
user1484167681 · 17/03/2023 23:18

*find, not did

OP posts:
CheeseMunchies · 17/03/2023 23:21

I'm the same. Even if I go for a walk I worry that I will trip, let go of the buggy and it will roll into the road and be hit by a car. I try to reason with myself when I think these things...in all the years I have imagined these catastrophic events happening, not one has come true.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 17/03/2023 23:22

This happens to me as well

Feliciacat · 17/03/2023 23:24

I get intrusive thoughts. I think getting intrusive thoughts is probably a survival thing so you’ll be more careful. It’s only a problem if they make you anxious and avoidant of life. Sounds like you’re managing them ok.

ladycardamom · 17/03/2023 23:26

It sounds like somesort of anxiety. I think CBT works well that kind of thing. You learn what to do with the thoughts.

Thelnebriati · 18/03/2023 00:21

It sounds like a combination of catastrophising and intrusive thoughts. Catastrophising is when you think of the worst thing that could happen, and intrusive thoughts is not having any control over your thoughts.
Can you see your GP? They are both treatable, you don't have to live with them.

inthegoodlife · 18/03/2023 00:30

I suffer with this. I have developed my own technique where I visualise a big red STOP sign and just try to cut the thought off and move to something else. Eventually I've found it takes a lot less time for the thoughts to go away. If I get them at night I also count backwards from 300 as a distraction.

MavisMcMinty · 18/03/2023 00:34

I read about this once, and apparently catastrophising can be a form of OCD. I do it a bit myself, as did my Mum. Probably responsive to CBT.

Beamur · 18/03/2023 00:38

It's not at all.unusual to have these kinds of thoughts, but catastrophising or spending a lot of time analysing those thoughts starts to tip towards less helpful behaviours.
Very manageable with CBT for many people. See your GP if it's bothering you or starting to take up time/keep you awake..

Makingamess4212 · 18/03/2023 02:55

This used to be a real issue for me. I was diagnosed with PTSD due to a big trauma, and after that, I would over analyse, worry, panic and catastrophize everything!
Only thing that's helped me, after years of therapy, is having a song on standby that I know all the words to. If I realise I'm having intrusive thoughts (which a lot of the time I don't realise till I'm nearly at the end of my journey/thought process), but if I can recognise it in time, I start focusing on the song, singing in my head, seeing the words, thinking about the lyrics. Basically pushing everything else away other than the song. It actually works great.

JMSA · 18/03/2023 02:57

I get them too, but it used to be much worse. I am able to brush over them quite quickly now - with no more anxiety thankfully - so I'll accept them as one of my many quirks Grin

snitzelvoncrumb · 18/03/2023 03:02

I get that too. No advice, but you aren’t alone. ♥️

FindingMeno · 18/03/2023 04:23

I get this too. Mine developed to a full obsessive disorder, after a couple of life events, but became wholly manageable again with medication.

KeHuyWinner · 18/03/2023 04:45

Pretty common. I've had these for years and surveying friends and family, many others do too. I'm not distressed for it and if doesn't adversely effect my day to day life so I don’t feel the need to try and change it. Sometimes, it's been a good thing in my opinion as means I'm much more careful.

southlondoner02 · 18/03/2023 07:24

I get this, also particularly focussed on the tube but did sometimes be thoughts on child hurting themselves. I don't think for me they're the same as catastrophising. It doesn't affect how I act, and I've always been a very relaxed parent. I did have some anxiety when my DD was young but not particularly focused on her.

For me they're passing thoughts that come and go. I think it's worth keeping an eye on whether they get worse/ more frequent and also if you think you can manage them. For example are they fleeting thoughts or do you spend lots of time going back to them/ worrying about what might happen if you acted on them etc?

Question10 · 18/03/2023 07:27

This is very common. It depends how much it is taking over your life. Therapy treatment for OCD is changing from the usual CBT model to a process called exposure and response prevention (ERP). Look it up!

Mummadeze · 18/03/2023 07:28

I get this, but when I feel it starting I tell myself very strictly in my head to stop and then force myself to think about something completely different. I have go to good fantasies like winning the lottery or planning holidays in my head ready to replace the thoughts with.

tenterden · 18/03/2023 07:56

I don’t think this is unusual OP so try not to worry.

Butterkistfiend · 18/03/2023 07:59

I have it all day, everyday, it’s got worse since I’ve had DC. It’s awful. Sympathies!

DustyLee123 · 18/03/2023 08:01

This seems to have started for me since I’ve hit peri menopause. I’ll be in bed at night and I’ll worry about my DD at Uni, thinking that she drunk and alone/lost, wondering if she’s home yet. I’ll hear a car passing and wonder if it’s the police coming to tell me she’s dead. It’s really upsetting, and I have to push these thoughts away and try to see nothing but black in my mind, so that I can get to sleep.

CaroleSinger · 18/03/2023 08:01

I'm diagnosed with OCD and this is a symptom. I know it's not real or rational but it still intrudes and I have to ignore it.

Helpmymenopausalfanny · 18/03/2023 08:07

You can get self help intrusive thoughts book that might be useful and help with strategies to manage the thoughts.

feelinglikeanewparent · 18/03/2023 08:08

I do this. All the time.

I've slowly realised over time it's sort of like mental 'preparation' for what could happen, so that IF it does, I'm kind of already over the initial panic and can actually be helpful to the situation.

Not sure if that makes sense but when I reflected and realised this, I accepted it. I don't know if I've always been this way or just since becoming a mother but I am a problem-solver by nature so almost preempting things helps me to get to solving them faster.

Hope that makes sense.

You're not alone.

justsayso · 18/03/2023 08:12

I get these, and ironically am a CBT therapist! They're totally normal, OP. It's your brain, showing you the potential risks. Very common in parents and new parents in particular. The key is to not have an aversive reaction to the thought. It's just a thought, it's not a fact. Maintain a neutral response to the thought, even though the images are horrific most of the time.
The more you try to block the thought, the more frequently you will experience it. Thought suppression doesn't work - if you try not to think of a polar bear, really try to push that thought of a polar bear out of your mind, you'll find the image just gets stronger.
If it's something you want to work on you can get free CBT from your local IAPT service.

GorgeousLadyofWrestling · 18/03/2023 08:15

I get this too OP but it wasn’t so much castrophising as obsessively thinking about horrific things. Animals or children being tortured and I would become very distressed.

I think actually I might do two kinds. The kind above but then also similar to you that I’ll be in the kitchen making dinner and suddenly imagine the boiling water landing on my child or something.

I learnt over the years to avoid the news because I would obsessively think about awful things, but for whatever reason in October and November, it got really bad, I read something awful in the news and spent the whole of November crying at my desk at lunchtime (I work from home).

Anti depressants have worked for me. Hope you feel better soon OP.