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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wish friend had not hugged us?

81 replies

LowFat · 12/02/2008 08:33

Yesterda a small group of my old friends met up after over a decade. When my old BF arrived she hugged me and other f who were there first. Then after some 20 minutes of it just being us she mentioned in a casual sort of way that she had just discovered nits in her DC's hair that morning, and that she very likely now had them.

I dont want to be critical as I loved seeing her again, but I do feel she could have been a bit more responsible about the situation, ie no hugs where heads would touch etc, perhaps treating her hair in the morning as soon as she found out, rather than just coming out at lunch time and risking passing on to friends etc..

I know the situation is treatable, but I'd rather avoid it altogether. I have 2 DC's at home who were all over me as soon as I got in as they had'nt seen me all day. Is it possible I have risked passing things on to them, which means DD could take nits in to school.

I could be completely misguided as perhaps you need longer contact. But I was sat next to her all afternoon, although kept about a foot distance from her, and I know from friends experience that they do jump!

But I am now sat here scratching my head at the very thought of possibly having nits.

How long till I will know one way or another??

OP posts:

redadmiral · 12/02/2008 13:32

Just posted and thought it sounded rude. Our cats have had fleas, and in the past I've been bitten by them - it's not meant to be a derogatory statement.

mrsruffallo · 12/02/2008 13:34

I would think it wierd if someone refused to shake my hand because they had a cold. A kiss or hug, I would understand but their hand?
Would make me think they had been wiping the snot off their nose with their hand. Yuck!!!

hunkermunker · 12/02/2008 13:37

You're more likely to transfer cold germs with a handshake though.

You blow your nose when you have a cold, right? And you don't wash your hands each time you do?

A good way to transfer cold germs is to touch hands with someone who's got a cold, then rub your eyes. Straight into your mucous membranes, see?

Or something.

hunkermunker · 12/02/2008 13:38

Seeker, I don't think they're the worst thing that can happen either.

It would be an odd person who thought they were, I think.

Nobody's said they are the worst thing though, have they?

seeker · 12/02/2008 13:40

Lice really really can't jump. Honestly.

Are you sure you got it from d at tht particular moment?? If you did, then I'm afraid it was a flea not a louse. The good news is that cat and dog fleas can bite people but they can't live on humans, so Frontline your pets and the problem's sorted.

mrsruffallo · 12/02/2008 13:40

Well, hunker, I didn't know that!
Good job I don't shake hands with people often then!

seeker · 12/02/2008 13:43

No, hunkermunker of course I don't - I was exaggerating a bit. But people do behave as if it's a more serious issue than it actually is. It's yucky and a main in the arse but it's not dangerous or life threatening or disfiguring or even health-threatening. And there has been lots of info on this thread about how to get rid of them. It sounded as if you thought people were ignoring the issue, rather than de mystifying and de-yuckifying it.

PrettyCandles · 12/02/2008 13:46

When you have a cold you never touch your nose or mouth without a tissue? You always have a tissue to hand when you sneeze? Read any of the health guidelines on how to deal with a cold and they all say Tissue-Bin-Wash.

It's a person's responsibility not to spread diseases or parasites around, no matter how delighted they are to see the other.

Of course we're exposed to all manner of things through daily life, but that's no reason to add un-necessary exposure.

moonstruck · 12/02/2008 13:51

petty candles- eh? calm down dear. Germs and parasites make us human.
I agree with seeker-I treat them when we have them but I don't get all this fuss over them at all. And I would never try to guess who gave them to dd but most people do this

seeker · 12/02/2008 13:54

Another lice fact I had forgotten. Apparantly if you measure the temperature of someone who gets lice a lot (like my ds) you'll find that they are naturally infinitesimally warmer than the less louse prone. This goes for mosquito and midge attractors too (also like ds!)

bundle · 12/02/2008 14:01

seeker
DEFINITELY A LOUSE

bundle · 12/02/2008 14:01

and DEFINITELY FROM DD'S HEAD

seeker · 12/02/2008 14:03

A MUTANT LOUSE!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!

moonstruck · 12/02/2008 14:05

But they can't jump Bundle-and you def. wouldn't have seen it jump even if it could. Maybe you something caught your eye and you thought it was lice?

MotherFunk · 12/02/2008 14:06

Message withdrawn

FrannyandZooey · 12/02/2008 14:15

did you SEE it jump then?

Anna8888 · 12/02/2008 14:16

seeker - that's very interesting, about the correlation between body temperature and louse infestation.

My second stepson, who is definitely warmer than most children, also is the one who catches the lice around here.

FrannyandZooey · 12/02/2008 14:16

(jeez, and I thought I did not like lice before this thread. Now I know that they bite you and shit in the wound, and now that they can JUMP OMG)

Pesha · 12/02/2008 14:21

Oooh very interesting louse fact seeker about the temperature. Well ok not very interesting but interesting as far as louse facts go!

And certainly seems to apply with my dc.

Bumdiddley · 12/02/2008 14:23

You are not being unreasonable.

I met up with SIL with nieces and nephew to see my newborn.

SIL joked, "They all have nits but I 'm sick of washing their hair". I didn't hug any of the kids. I got nits. Which as you can imagine was not fun - and the shampoo irriated my psoriasis.

It's just bad manners, dangit

shrinkingassets · 12/02/2008 14:29

Hello - first-time poster here although I've been lurking on mn for about 100 years. Can't believe I've chosen a thread about nits to make my debut.
I'm also really interested in the temperature/headlice correlation (has my life come to this, that I should declare myself really interested in anything to do with nits?!) My ds (4) seems to be most prone in our house and ever since he was tiny we've all agreed that his natural temperature is a tiny bit higher than many children's.

MotherFunk · 12/02/2008 14:34

Message withdrawn

BananaPudding · 12/02/2008 14:40

Franny, I live in the US, and there is definetely a sterner school of thought regarding lice. DD got them at the beginning of term and I had to keep her home for a day to treat her hair. I informed the school why I kept her home, the nurse then went round the school checking heads and several others were sent home. I don't know if dd got them from someone at school or picked them up elsewhere and spread them around class, but I do know that it's been six months and there has not been a word of lice since. A letter goes home with children if lice are found, and the nurse does frequent spot checks.

Yes, lice are not life-threatening. They do not indicate dirtiness or trashiness. But they are revolting, and quite annoying to deal with. Honestly I don't think I could cope with how relaxed you all are about it!

Chemical treatments are widespread here, but coming from a lentil-weaving family I soaked her hair in olive oil and smothered the little nasties. It's actually very easy and works very well; every three days for 21 days you coat the hair and scalp in olive oil, cover hair with a plastic cap and put them to bed with a towel over the pillow. The three day interval catches the babies on their hatching days and prevents them from breathing long enough to lay more eggs.

Dang it, now my head itches.

BananaPudding · 12/02/2008 14:42

And in my opinion, YANBU. I'd have been really annoyed.

redadmiral · 12/02/2008 14:44

I can see the point of it, BP, but it sounds awfully humiliating for the children who get sent home with lice.
Think I would rather have the inconvenience of the British system myself TBH.

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