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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wish friend had not hugged us?

81 replies

LowFat · 12/02/2008 08:33

Yesterda a small group of my old friends met up after over a decade. When my old BF arrived she hugged me and other f who were there first. Then after some 20 minutes of it just being us she mentioned in a casual sort of way that she had just discovered nits in her DC's hair that morning, and that she very likely now had them.

I dont want to be critical as I loved seeing her again, but I do feel she could have been a bit more responsible about the situation, ie no hugs where heads would touch etc, perhaps treating her hair in the morning as soon as she found out, rather than just coming out at lunch time and risking passing on to friends etc..

I know the situation is treatable, but I'd rather avoid it altogether. I have 2 DC's at home who were all over me as soon as I got in as they had'nt seen me all day. Is it possible I have risked passing things on to them, which means DD could take nits in to school.

I could be completely misguided as perhaps you need longer contact. But I was sat next to her all afternoon, although kept about a foot distance from her, and I know from friends experience that they do jump!

But I am now sat here scratching my head at the very thought of possibly having nits.

How long till I will know one way or another??

OP posts:

ruty · 12/02/2008 08:54

i am dreading ds [3] getting them because just washing his hair is a nightmare at the moment, the thought of having to keep some special stuff on his hair and use a nit comb fills me with dread. He would get terribly upset.

MotherFunk · 12/02/2008 08:55

Message withdrawn

Original poster

LowFat · 12/02/2008 08:58

Ruty that is the same as me, DD is not a lover of getting her face wet so washing her hair is a real hassle.

Am at work now, and I have warned all my colleagues to keep a distance. I am off to Boots this afternoon to get a nit comb and some nice conditioner (I have a menthol one at the moment and if I smother that on my eyes will water for a week)

OP posts:

MotherFunk · 12/02/2008 09:01

Message withdrawn

hotcrossbunny · 12/02/2008 09:20

Anyone recommend a hypoallergenic conditioner for my four year old dd (and me!)?? Thank you

Btw - I don't think YABU LowFat. I'm driven demented by people who happily pass on bugs when its not necessary.

cory · 12/02/2008 09:26

Well, I'd be irritated by huggy friend. Nits may not be that serious to most people, but it's still rude to show that you don't care if you're passing them around. If I thought I had them, I would comb like mad and stay at a respectful distance from other people.

seeker · 12/02/2008 09:40

Ok - some nit facts. I'm sure they've all been on the thread somewhere, but it might be helpful if they are all in one post.

Head lice can't jump - they can only crawl from head to head. The also don't live very long off the head, so, although you canget them from sharing hats and brushes and combs, you won't get them from somebody's sofa or anything like that.

People only itch if they are sensitive to louse poo. 50% of people are - but that means that 50% of people don't itch, so may not know they have them until the infestation is quite bad.

The best way to get rid of them is by combing. The chemical treatments are expensive, potentially harmful and don't work. Or if they do work, they only work until the local lice have adapted to become immune - which they do very quickly. There are non chemical treatments - like Hedrin and Lice attack, which work by suffocating the little bst, which is VERY satisfying - but they are very expensive.

Combing is cheap and easy, if time consuming. Coat the hair with loads of conditioner, then comb systematically, wiping the comb between each stroke, for about 30 minutes. Chocolate buttons and a DVD help.

The important thing is that once is not enough. Comb on at least day 1, day 7 and day 14. And the other important thing is to do every one in the family - including the adults -ON THE SAME DAY!

There is nothing you can do to stop your kids getting them - it is not a sign of dirt or neglect or any of the other value judgements people (no one on this thread!) sometimes come out with. It's a part of having school age kids!

lalalonglegs · 12/02/2008 10:59

Sorry, have been away. I think it is self-absorbed to worry about getting nits from someone who probably doesn't even have them in the first place - she said her children had them - especially when it was someone you haven't seen for ten years and they were once your best friend. Aren't there better things to do in this situation than obsess about nits?

What if her friend had turned up with a cold - would she be posting, worrying that she might start sneezing? To me it sounds a very joyless attitude to life and to friendship.

wishingchair · 12/02/2008 11:38

tea tree oil ... put some in teh conditioner. They don't like it. My dd1 got nits when dd2 was 10 wks old and I was breastfeeding. Couldn't use any of the treatments so I was sent away from chemist with nitty gritty comb and tea tree oil. I had them but only a couple (and lots of eggs). The comb got rid of them though.

lalalonglegs - no she prob wouldn't be complaining about the cold, although it'd be perfectly reasonable to do so if she'd sneezed in her face, which is kind of the same thing. And there's just something about nits ... (could be worse, could be threadworms ...)

agnesnitt · 12/02/2008 12:02

Hedrin is bloomin' fantastic, and as seeker says, it's immensely satisfying to know you've killed them all ...

If you're on a low income and entitled to free prescriptions you can get Hedrin as part of the minor ailments scheme. You have to ask though, as they prefer to dish out Lyclear as it's cheaper.

As everyone else has said though, combing is the best way to prevent and cure. Get your children into the habit of a weekly wet comb now, make it part of the bathtime routine. Then, if and when they come home with 'lodgers' (thanks mum!) it's not going to be an almighty shock to them when you superglue their backsides to a chair and go at it with the conditioner. Reasonably cheap conditioner is best, it's gloopy enough to stop the buggers moving to quickly, but it's thin enough to allow you to comb though. Do not use Tresemme unless you have a few days to spare

Agnes

redadmiral · 12/02/2008 12:10

Think I felt a bit scared of getting them until we actually did. Once your children have had a few rounds of it you'll probably become more blase about it. (I don't find it too hard to treat - sometimes sit them in front of a video while I do it. The children that is, not the lice....)

Got to go now - my head is so itchy....

seeker · 12/02/2008 12:14

What video do the lice enjoy? A Bug's Life? David Attenborough?

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 12/02/2008 12:17

Oh they're just bits! It's not the plague! Anyone with hair and kids need to be prepared to de-nit themselves sometimes.

mrsruffallo · 12/02/2008 12:18

For Gods sake, they are only headlice. Maybe she hugged you spontaneously, not as a masterplan tp infest your family

Kitti · 12/02/2008 12:28

A little bit thoughtless perhaps but I think you're probably safe. Obviously always wise to prepare yourself now that your have kids at pre-school whatever. I use the Nitty Gritty repellant spray but even then the kids have got headlice and so far I've never had them. Something about Neem oil and Tea Tree - plenty of wet combing with conditioner every week at bath times will hopefully keep you and kids nit-free anyway. Just be prepared it is going to happen to your kids (at least) one day. Try not to panic.

FrannyandZooey · 12/02/2008 13:11

OMG MotherFunk thank you SO much for informing us about the poo thing

ugh that will add a little extra frisson to the next time we get them

I do find it interesting that people have this slack attitude to headlice and that they have become so widespread these days

in some parts (don't know if all? ) of the US they are not really tolerated, children from school would be excluded until treated, and as a result they are much rarer

hunkermunker · 12/02/2008 13:15

Well, this is an eye-opener.

No wonder so many bloody nit infestations occur in schools then.

Do you nit-happy lot feel the same about threadworms, btw?

seeker · 12/02/2008 13:19

Hang on - I don't think anyone's said they don't deal with them, have they? I am fanatical in my nit pursuing! I just don't think they are the worst thing that can happen.

KerryMum · 12/02/2008 13:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 12/02/2008 13:22

It probably didn't even cross her mind and was so pleased to see you that she hugged you.

Poledra · 12/02/2008 13:25

I think it was thoughtless. But then I am currently trying to clear my dd of her third infestation in 4 months. Somebody at nursery is not bothering about it. DD gets very itchy head and it does bother her. SO it bothers me that other people are too lazy to comb out their children's hair (and I feel sorry for the LOs with itchy heads!).
BTW, have had word with nursery, as I know they know who has the ongoing infestation.

bundle · 12/02/2008 13:26

ruty, a scientists who studies them told me they couldn't jump.

then i caught one from dd1's head.

it's jumped.

quite a long way!

mrsruffallo · 12/02/2008 13:27

I think people are saying that it's not the end of the world if you catch them- not that they wouldn't deal with it.
I think worrying about physical contact from a friend whose dc have them is a bit much. Esp. as she hasn't seen her for so long
Threadworm is mostly caught from taps and no, I wouldn't avoid taps either

PrettyCandles · 12/02/2008 13:28

YANBU. But then I've had very weird looks from people when I've said "I won't shake hands as I've got a cold". So I guess that for some people the protocols of meeting people are more important than the risk of passing something on.

redadmiral · 12/02/2008 13:30

Hmm bundle, are you sure it was a head louse? Cat and dog fleas can jump.

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