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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask people to do a 1.5 mile journey for a post christening lunch?

59 replies

VeryLowTum · 17/03/2023 15:14

I'm arranging a christening for my DC3. The church is in the middle of a large town. Around 35 guests will come, with some family who will travel for up to 2.5 hours (some staying overnight) and some local friends.

I have two older toddler DCs, and several local friends have toddlers, and some family have toddlers/young primary DCs.

Christening is 12:30pm so will be providing lunch after.

I can either hire a room in the town centre, will be a smallish room so enough space for people to eat a buffet but no space for kids to run around. Will cost about £850 all in for room hire plus their own catering (it's mostly pub function rooms available in centre so no catering choice or option to bring my own food).

Or, can hire more of a community hall with loads of space for kids to play/run around (could hire a bouncy castle or toys etc). Will cost about £150 plus catering plus toy/castle hire. But there are none in the centre. Nearest would be 1.5 mile walk. Or there is a bus from opposite the church but only every half hourly and we may not all fit in! I think this would be preferable for lots of reasons, especially enabling my older kids and other children to have a much nicer time/more relaxing for parents, but I'm not sure if it's unreasonable to expect people to get to the church and then drive/bus/walk a long way for the food? The centre is tricky for driving/parking so not sure hiring a bus would work.

AIBU to expect people to go to another venue so far out?

Another option would just be hosting at home - I live about 2 miles from the centre, with similar bus options. This would just be cost of catering plus drinks. Indoor space is fine, our garden is smallish but ok, we have loads of toys but not sure if hosting 35 people will be a nightmare for mess afterwards etc!

WWYD? What would you want as a guest?

OP posts:
Original poster
VeryLowTum · 17/03/2023 15:16

At least one family will be travelling in by train, which is close to the church, but would have to get a bus/walk back into the centre to the train station from a further away venue.

OP posts:
twinklelight · 17/03/2023 15:16

YANBU at all. If you’re putting on catering etc people would be really ungrateful to grumble at travelling a couple of miles. Every christening I’ve been to has been a short car journey from where the ‘party’ is

MrsRinaDecker · 17/03/2023 15:18

Surely if people don’t want to walk they can just hop in a taxi? 1.5 miles is less than £10 and people can always share?

GandhiDeclaredWarOnYou · 17/03/2023 15:19

YABU if you expect them to walk. Not everyone is a decent walker, especially in the generation that takes baptisms seriously, and people wear their nice clothes and shoes to a church.

YANBU if you expect them to drive.

Luredbyapomegranate · 17/03/2023 15:22

It’s fine - I’d assume most people
are driving so you don’t need to lay on buses?

Provide taxi details to prebook for those who are training it

If you want to be nice / know someone is broke, try and put them together with someone who can give a lift (don’t get into this with everyone)

TheEverdelightfulsamantha · 17/03/2023 15:23

I think a short journey is fine! I’ve done this a lot for weddings and funerals, it’s just accepted I think - either the hall or your home - think about parking at both though, as I would think most people would drive? And could you find spare car spots for those who don’t? Just take a few booster seats with you (or ask the friends with toddlers on the train to bring their own)

Fragrantandfoolish · 17/03/2023 15:27

I think this is fine, but I’d ask if anyone needs a lift and try to help Co ordinate if required.

confusedlots · 17/03/2023 15:29

Surely people will be coming by car so will just drive to the lunch venue?

DappledThings · 17/03/2023 15:29

I'm not sure if it's unreasonable to expect people to get to the church and then drive/bus/walk a long way for the food?... AIBU to expect people to go to another venue so far out?

You aren't asking anyone to go a long way. 1.5 miles is not "far out" by any means. Of course it's fine. Won't most people drive anyway?

It wouldn't cross my mind that this is any kind of issue.

vincettenoir · 17/03/2023 15:29

I guess it depends on who is coming. Me and my immediate family would be comfortable with a 1.5 mile walk. Some older rellies would struggle. But presumably they share taxis / drive if they didn’t fit on the bus. I don’t think what you are suggesting sounds that awkward.

If you wanted to be super-accommodating maybe you could give a lift / shout a taxi to the least mobile guests. But I think that would depend on the guests and their needs. If everyone is relatively fit and mobile then that’s not necessary.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 17/03/2023 15:30

I went to one that was a good couple of miles away from the lunch and it was lovely and a far nicer venue.
I think it’s fine but when you’re inviting people I’d make it clear that it’s not round the corner!

riotlady · 17/03/2023 15:31

Short journey sounds typical to me, there's not always a suitable space within a short walk of the church.

albapunk · 17/03/2023 15:31

Could you look at booking a minibus for those who aren't driving?

Hbh17 · 17/03/2023 15:33

That's not far at all, and a taxi would be very cheap.

Haraebo · 17/03/2023 15:33

Does the church not have a hall or area that you can hire?

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 17/03/2023 15:36

The hall area with bouncy castle sounds great and I would happily travel that distance. I imagine lots will drive so maybe see if any lift sharing is available and if not provide them with a local taxi number.

I think the second best option is your house. With lots of small children space to run around is probably most welcomed.

PuttingDownRoots · 17/03/2023 15:36

We had a lot further distance... christening at the family church, lunch/party at PILs House. (We lived in Married Quarters a couple of hours away.) No one thought anything of it.

Original poster
VeryLowTum · 17/03/2023 15:36

Haraebo · 17/03/2023 15:33

Does the church not have a hall or area that you can hire?

Sadly not!

I guess a lot of people would drive to the church, I was thinking it'd be annoying to park, walk to church, go back to the car and then drive to the hall but maybe I'm overthinking!

OP posts:
LlynTegid · 17/03/2023 15:36

Is there not a church hall, where you could have a cup of tea and a few sandwiches? The ceremony is the important part, hope people would come even if no refreshments afterwards.

DappledThings · 17/03/2023 15:37

VeryLowTum · 17/03/2023 15:36

Sadly not!

I guess a lot of people would drive to the church, I was thinking it'd be annoying to park, walk to church, go back to the car and then drive to the hall but maybe I'm overthinking!

Show quote history

You definitely are overthinking! Don't worry about it

Haraebo · 17/03/2023 15:37

VeryLowTum · 17/03/2023 15:36

Sadly not!

I guess a lot of people would drive to the church, I was thinking it'd be annoying to park, walk to church, go back to the car and then drive to the hall but maybe I'm overthinking!

Show quote history

Ah, that's a shame (and unusual!)

drpet49 · 17/03/2023 15:38

twinklelight · 17/03/2023 15:16

YANBU at all. If you’re putting on catering etc people would be really ungrateful to grumble at travelling a couple of miles. Every christening I’ve been to has been a short car journey from where the ‘party’ is

This. It is completely acceptable.

namechange3394 · 17/03/2023 15:45

VeryLowTum · 17/03/2023 15:36

Sadly not!

I guess a lot of people would drive to the church, I was thinking it'd be annoying to park, walk to church, go back to the car and then drive to the hall but maybe I'm overthinking!

Show quote history

This is what's happened at literally every Christening I've ever been to (upwards of 5). It's a total non issue.

bigbluebus · 17/03/2023 16:04

Won't some people have space in their cars to gift lifts to those who travel to the Church by public transport? I know when I've been to funerals we've helped out with transport to the wake for those without cars.

whynotwhatknot · 17/03/2023 16:12

people do this all the time not jus for christenings -funerals ive been to are miles from the wake-i wouldnt say 1.5 miles is alot just let everyone know beforehand