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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dogs and joggers

333 replies

TootsAtOwls · 17/03/2023 11:34

I'm prepared to be told IABU on this but interested to know what others think...

I have a rescue dog who is mostly fine, always friendly if he meets people in the house etc. However he does sometimes bark at people he doesn't like the look of when we pass them on the street (tall men, people wearing neon colours etc). I am actively working on this with positive reinforcement (I get the treats out before we pass people so he learns that other people are a good thing) and most days pass without incident.

However, I am having trouble with (male) runners. They come out of nowhere, running around corners and hurtling past at full speed. I often don't have time to get the treat into the dog's mouth or he's already too distracted by the runner to take it. So he barks, and lunges (I know he means it in a playful way, but they don't!) They always seem to look back and give me a dirty look as i call out "Sorry!"

But I can't help thinking, if I was running past a dog, I'd either cross the road to avoid them or if that's impossible (say on a canal path) I would bloody well slow down! I get that they don't want to keep interrupting their run with bouts of walking. Bit am I so unreasonable to think that you don't run right past a dog who's looking intently at you (as opposed to a dog showing no interest)? Surely they must see it's going to get them barked at?

OP posts:
Thesharkradar · 17/03/2023 16:55

some time ago I had a run in with a woman whose OOC dogs nearly knocked me off my bike, I shouted at her to keep her dogs under control, she shouted back 'we were here first'
there was another one recently, but this time I just glared at her after I had to swerve to avoid her dog, she responded by telling me off for not helping her to catch her dog.
I dont dislike dogs especially but I want to kick the shit out of some of the owners

Dominoeffecter · 17/03/2023 16:55

thisplaceisweird · 17/03/2023 12:29

If you aren't a dog owner you will never get it. Our dogs are our babies with personalities and feelings, not just an object on a leash.

And shouldn’t just randomly be expected to ‘get it’. If you’re not a runner you will never get it 🫠

PassTheDuckie · 17/03/2023 16:56

Dog nutter entitlement exposed again.

TooBored1 · 17/03/2023 17:10

Runner and owner of an occasionally reactive dog.

Absolutely my responsibility to ensure that my dog is under control at all times. If I'm not 100% sure what's coming up, I'll keep the lead short enough to stop a lunge. If I can see a runner etc,. I'll take responsibility and cross the road. If I can't, I stop and put my body between the runner and the dog.

It's not the most enjoyable or relaxing way to walk a dog but still my responsibility to keep people safe, not theirs to get out of the way of my dog.

As a runner, I'm sick to the back teeth of "only saying hello" or "got spooked" etc. I've been bitten, chased and knocked over by such dogs.

And what would happen if it was a child that made the dog react?

Boringcookingquestion · 17/03/2023 17:13

YABU. I think that if your dog isn’t trained not to lunge at joggers then you need to walk him somewhere other than a canal path. I can’t see it being much fun for the dog either.

LolaSmiles · 17/03/2023 17:20

Nothing wrong with slowing down and calling out an 'excuse me'or an 'I'm just coming up on your left'
I agree, but since joining Mumsnet I realised that there's a hell of a lot of moaners who will claim this, or any act of letting people know you're there, is aggressive/rude/intimidating/proof runners are going full pelt/cyclists think they're on the tour de France.

There's some batshit people out there who seem to think the only people who use paths or shared use trails are pedestrians like them who want to meander along whilst the rest of the world reads their mind.

TheOrigRights · 17/03/2023 17:21

I'm just back from a run. I met 3 dogs on a farm track where there are very, very few people.
Person 1 put their larger, pulling dog on a lead and moved to the side, and their smaller dog trotted towards me, I slowed a bit, could see the dog was calm, smiled and thanked the owner.
Person 2 with a very small dog. Again the dog trotted up to me and then just carried on its way. I thanked the owner.
I had made eye contact with the owners so we both knew we were there.
I think we all treated each other with respect and consideration and will live happily ever after

BreviloquentBastard · 17/03/2023 17:30

I had to do a lot of work with one of my dogs who thought anyone running wanted to play with her so she'd try and "join in" the run. To her, she was joining in. To the runners, they were suddenly being chased by a very big, hairy, toothy black dog. So I do get it, it takes a lot of work and there will always be bumps in the road to a well trained dog. And dogs are, basically, idiots.

But as dog owners it is our responsibility to keep our dogs under control in shared spaces so we can all live together in peace, and share pathways with as little drama as possible. I don't think it's fair to expect anyone to assume your dog has issues and give it a wide berth. Have you considered getting one of those "Nervous" harnesses so people might be more likely to give your pup some space?

Americano75 · 17/03/2023 17:33

Sorry, but you are being unreasonable. I'm a dog lover and a runner, and when I'm out running I'm focusing on my run, earbuds in. It's not my job or responsibility to cross the road any time I see a dog. If your dog has an issue with other road users than that's your issue.

Frabbits · 17/03/2023 17:46

Cantseethewoodforthetree · 17/03/2023 14:35

It’s your dog. Yours. Your dog has no rights whatsoever. It’s animal you chose to get. You. You chose to get. I will not ‘give and take’ anything due to the consequence of a decision YOU took. Jeez! The entitlement in expecting anyone to adjust our actions cause YOU decided to get a dog is absolutely off the scale!

Yes, obviously, the owner of the dog is the one who chose to get a dog and to be daring to walk it at the same time as you want to go for a run.

But it is about give and take, sorry to say. Your "give" as a runner is to be considerate around other people and animals and to not be a total twat about how you use shared space.

GoodChat · 17/03/2023 17:48

QuertyGirl · 17/03/2023 16:41

It's insane.

I have both a cat and a child.

I can tell them apart unlike some dog owners

But would you be able to if you had a dog? Wink

midgemadgemodge · 17/03/2023 18:09

The runners are not unreasonable running round a blind corner. Running is a perfectly normal thing to do

Let's face it a Walker could walk around a blind corner just as the dog reaches it

The dog needs to be prepped for someone coming round that bend long before they get there - so just prep the dog earlier rather than blame others for your lack of consideration

WiddlinDiddlin · 17/03/2023 18:26

Dog owners cannot expect others to understand the details and intricacies of training a dog, dog behaviour etc etc.

I do think it reasonable that they understand human behaviour and have the common courtesy NOT to run up behind or pass people with only a foot or two to spare though.

However, that isn't the case, and we can't force people to behave politely or thoughtfully to others, so we have to train and handle dogs on the understanding that everyone else out there, is a twat.

Don't walk your dog where runners will pass close by, run up behind silently, where you can't get lots of space.

Avoiding your dog 'practicing' this behaviour or, being repeatedly startled or feeling threatened by runners/cyclists etc, is the first step to addressing the issue.

Spend some time teaching your dog that all the distracting noises and movements they see outside are markers or predictors for reward. In the same way that a clicker or a verbal marker like 'yes!' can be paired with a reinforcer to become a conditioned stimuli, so can all these sounds and movements you experience outdoors.

This means spending some time in a safe environment (door way, gate way, sitting in the back of the car, sitting on a bench somewhere) observing and classically conditioning to those events.

Once you have a dog who is automatically looking at you when they experience these conditioned markers, you're ready to think about walking where people may be jogging - but not every day, not every walk - start out simple and very minimal, and again strongly reinforcing seeing runners, hearing them, etc.

Be aware of 'trigger stacking' - dog has coped with jogger 1, juuuuuust about coped with jogger 2... but the next day, its jogger 3 that causes the reaction. This happens because stress hormones do not drop within minutes or hours, they can take days to come back down. So factoring this in and ensuring easy stress free walks or avoiding walks in favour of training sessions, trips to secure fields etc helps training be more efficient, and trigger stacking less likely to occur.

I'd also teach your dog a 'close' cue (when I walked it would be the dog targeting my leg with their shoulder, now its them targeting my arm rest with nose or leg rest with nose depending on height of dog) so you can ask for that behaviour before the runner passes and then reward for it after. A close cue or a 'behind' (dog walks behind you) can be really useful for going round blind corners or tight sections where there isn't much passing room.

Unfortunately it is VERY easy for a single event learning experience to set everything back again, so just one twat runs up behind and startles both dog and handler, and you can be back to the beginning. So I would really avoid popular jogging areas, narrow paths, surfaces where you can't hear runners approaching. Even after you've improved the response to seeing runners with plenty of warning.

Pepsiiscrap · 17/03/2023 18:29

I'm nervous of dogs so always walk past and give a wide berth when I'm out for a run. Sadly that hasn't stopped me having shitty experiences with dogs running and Jumping at me and on a few occasions snapping and trying to bite. So honestly I'm struggling to see your side.

RandomUsernameHere · 17/03/2023 18:43

YAB completely U, they are totally within their right to run past you, it's not their fault your dog is out of control!

Hmmmm2018 · 17/03/2023 18:49

As a running dog owner who runs with my dog other dog owners wind me up. I know my dog is bad with runners so in a park where I know there will be runners I keep him on the lead and keep an eye out for runners. It is my responsibility as a dog owner to the best of my ability avoid putting my dog in the position where he nips or growls at someone, so he stays on the lead. If you know your dog is not good with runners it is your responsibility to sort that out not expect the runners to go out of their way. As a runner I do slow down past dogs after being thoroughly fed up of people not having their dogs under control and then the dogs running up and attempting to nip/trip me.

longtompot · 17/03/2023 18:51

At these pressure points where you have encountered joggers and or men in high vis, or even places where it might be a possibility, have your treats ready and have your dogs focus on you even before the event happens, if it does.

OCDmama · 17/03/2023 19:15

YABU.

You really expect all runners to be dog psychologists and know to cross the road when they see your dog??

Why should I cross the road or stop running because you can't control your dog?

Blondewithredlips · 17/03/2023 19:29

Most runners are selfish and only think of themselves.

Lasttraintolondon · 17/03/2023 19:32

Everyone should be polite and courteous around each other and you know what, generally I find most people are.

As a runner and dog owner, the big issue when out running is the one asshole in 50 who has a dog not on the lead, with no recall, and views me as something to jump on/nip/run up and bark at. It's really not OK and ruins my day totally. Most don't even say sorry and we all know 'he's friendly!' is bollocks from the mouths of shit owners. I'm sure in a Venn diagram it's the same ones who hang bags of crap in the trees.

The law is clear on this one - under the dangerous dogs act the stuff I'm describing above is illegal. It's actually not a matter for debate.

OP, thanks for having it on the lead and trying to train it, you're a decent dog owner and keep at it.

greenacrylicpaint · 17/03/2023 19:54

Blondewithredlips · 17/03/2023 19:29

Most runners are selfish and only think of themselves.

Most dog owners are selfish and only think of themselves.

tbh it's a very annoying minority of either that ruin it for all.
most dog owners are sensible, as are most runners.

takealettermsjones · 17/03/2023 19:59

the big issue when out running is the one asshole in 50 who has a dog not on the lead, with no recall, and views me as something to jump on/nip/run up and bark at. It's really not OK and ruins my day totally. Most don't even say sorry and we all know 'he's friendly!' is bollocks from the mouths of shit owners

One in 50?! More like one in two where I am.

GoodChat · 17/03/2023 20:06

takealettermsjones · 17/03/2023 19:59

the big issue when out running is the one asshole in 50 who has a dog not on the lead, with no recall, and views me as something to jump on/nip/run up and bark at. It's really not OK and ruins my day totally. Most don't even say sorry and we all know 'he's friendly!' is bollocks from the mouths of shit owners

One in 50?! More like one in two where I am.

I read that as two in two and it tickled me Grin

NeverTrustAPoliceman · 17/03/2023 20:07

Why not just train your dog properly? There is nothing worse than an entitled owner and a badly behaved dog.

GoodChat · 17/03/2023 20:08

NeverTrustAPoliceman · 17/03/2023 20:07

Why not just train your dog properly? There is nothing worse than an entitled owner and a badly behaved dog.

She's in the process of training her dog...