Today my human told me that I ponged like the inside of a tramps welly!
She marched, yes marched me into the bathroom and hoiked me into the bath! Then she turned this weird tap on and it rained on me. Any other time, she won't let me go in the rain apart from to do my toilet, and even then she demands that I go back inside as soon as I've finished. Talk about double standards!
Anyway, once she thought I was rained on enough, she made my fur all soapy with some stupid smelling stuff, washing away my lovely doggy smell.
Then she made it rain on me again!
Now, I'm a wet dog and so I did what us wet dogs do and shook the wet off.
This made my human yell, something about not having the towel ready. Well that's not my fault is it and it serves you right that now you're soaking too!
Then to add insult to injury, she put my bedding in that big box that fills with soapy water and makes things clean.
My mistreatment, yes, mistreatment doesn't end there! She also put my favourite stuffie in the soapy box with my bedding. I could hardly bear to watch as poor Mr Duck went round and round. I tried to tell my human that Mr Duck was drowning but she told me to stop being such a drama queen.
Then she pegged him outside by his beak!!
I would report her to the RSPCA but I can't use her phone as I have no thumbs.
Surely it's my right to smell like a proper dog, like fox shit and mud rather than Bob Martins oatmeal with a hint of flowers and my bedding to not stink of sandalwood and bloody honeysuckle??
Aibu to think this is an abuse of my doggie rights?