I’d like him to ask me out 🙈

[CrazyJoPavlova]

I’m 34, divorced single mother of two. I live down the road from a convenience store/bottle shop. School run and necessity mean I frequent said establishment on a near-daily basis. There’s a lovely young man who works at this store. In fact, he’s so lovely to look at and interact with that I get all giddy and silly if he’s on the tills. I can hardly maintain eye contact, and I’m almost entirely sure he’s interested in me as well. The problem is that I’m so bloody shy and all of a sudden coy when it comes to this person…I can’t even muster the bravery to read his name tag!!! (What the plop is wrong with me?!) Dearest Mumsnet, how do I handle this?! I’d love to ask him out, or for him to do it for me…It’s so bloody silly, given my age and the fact that I’ve enacted much braver things than asking a man for his number…but honestly, I’m stupidly smitten at this point, and I don’t know how to handle it! (Note: there’s another store across the road, so if I make an absolute tit of myself, at least there’s somewhere else to get bread and milk in a pinch!)…Please help!!!

How young?!

Ohh tricky but this is nice !

could you ask him what’s he doing for the weekend and just see where that goes

and I’m almost entirely sure he’s interested in me as well.

how can you tell he actually interested?

If he's 24 or under I'd leave it alone. The maturity levels are too different and it's a little creepy.

If he's 25 or over just slip him your number and 'call me' on a piece of paper and give him a smile.

He'll text if he's interested.

He’s at least around my age.

The signs he’s interested include almost knocking another staff member over in order to be the one who serves me 🙈

Ah that's good then. Sounds like he likes you.

You could also just ask if he fancies a pint when he's off work?

Smile at him.

ooooooooo. Slip him your number as someone else up-thread said.

Gah! It all seems so brazen! I live in a rural area, so the fear is that I’d not be able to show my face again in the shop if I completely ballsed it up!…But as mentioned earlier, there’s that other shop across the road 😩😂

Just start talking to him every time you're in the shop, ask how his day is etc... conversation will move on in time, then when you have established some kind of friendship you may feel more comfortable asking him out or he asks you.

Its no brazen! Do it! Go for it x

Smile and be friendly. Try to get into conversation with him. If he likes you, eventually the conversation will turn that way.

But do NOT slip him your number. Doing that is a recipe for anxiety and if he doesn't call you'll never know why. He may not be single, for a start. Just allow things to unfold naturally. And I know it's old fashioned, but let him be the one to ask you out or at least make his intentions clear first.

Some business have rule about staff not going out with customers for obvious reasons if it doesn't go well. Equally he might be careful even if there is no rule.

You can always see though as pps said and let it develop naturally via chats etc

Good advice from everyone…thank you all…
Part of my concern was that he may be attached. He seems to only work there a couple of days a week, particularly around the weekend…but this weekend I’ll be “free” as my darling daughters will be with their Dad…
Obviously I’m not presuming anything re his response, but in a way it feels like it’s now or never…
The smiling at him terrifies me, but I’ll give it a go!!!

Be careful not to build this up in your head bigger than it actually is. He might just be being friendly to a now familiar face. You don't know if he's single or anything. Don't be making weekend plans until you've had a conversation with him! Sorry I know that's doom and gloom but you don't want to build it up and be disappointed.

"Any plans for the weekend?" is a good opening line. Gives them the opportunity to mention a partner if they have one. If they are interested in you they can take the bait; "nothing much, how about you?" or "the new Italian place down the road looks really nice, have you tried it?" Or "it's been a crazy week, I'm looking forward to a glass of wine later". Something casual so there's no embarrassment if he doesn't take the bait but if he does you've opened up the conversation.

Good luck!

No no, you’re absolutely right. Gotta keep my head on straight! Thank you X

Step 1. Smile
Step 2. Small talk
Step 3. Flirtation
Step 4. Deeper talk, flirtation, ascertain relationship status
Step 5. Ask out/he asks you out

Don't skip any steps and don't rush them, either. Take your time and if you decide you don't like him after all, there's nothing lost.

Thank you, everyone! Feels like I’ve been out of the game too long to know what’s what! I appreciate all your advice!!! X

I don't think it's on to approach him at his place of work with a view to asking him out. Think how uncomfortable you'd feel if someone did that to you at your workplace, we'd all be saying what a creep he is.
Have you posted about this before btw, it rings a bell for some reason.

If you're rural surely you know someone who knows him or someone who knows his cousin's aunt's vets cleaner?

Is he on the community face book page?

You need to talk to him, just a normal conversation. He might be boring as fuck and you’ll have got all excited about him for nothing. Make some boring small talk about the weather / what you’re buying / whatever & see how that goes first. No way would I be giving my number to a man who could in fact be married/ boring / thick etc.

We're rural and everyone knows someone who knows everyone round here.

I'd just start off by chatting with him. Make a casual comment that it's nice not to have to rush so much this weekend, as your kids are with your ex. It just let's him know without doubt that you are single in case he's not sure. Then I'd go in the next day and see if he makes an effort to serve you and talk to you again. Good luck!

Not posted about this before, but totally get what you mean, and that is definitely part of my hesitation 🥴