To accept myself as I am?

[thegreenlight]

I have struggled with my weight for years. I lost about 3 stone before children and kept it off (losing after each pregnancy fairly easily). I had to keep an eye on what I ate but lost weight quickly when I wanted to. I know how to do it.
Then, I started sertraline. My weight shot up by 10lb even though I was watching what I ate. I stabilised and then they upped my dose after I struggled with the death of my beloved dad. Another 10lb. I’m really struggling to lose it. I’ve joined slimming world but despite sticking to the plan by the letter and exercising every day I stayed the same. My husband loves the way I look now (large 12 more a 14 was always 10/12) do I embrace my body and buy new clothes or slim into the ones I have? I was 40 last week. Is it the sertraline or my age that is making things so difficult? What do I do? I can’t stop sertraline as it changed my life.

I'm older than you. I've always been 'chunky' (broad shoulders, big boots but short), list weight after 2nd child and kept it off as long as I ate barely anything and exercised every day for an hour. Worked in hospitality, long hours always on feet and moving but still gained weight. Menopause then kicked in and my only symptom was weight gain on my stomach! I've made peace with it. I'm going to be round for the rest of my days and enjoy my life rather than trying to conform to how other people think I should look.

Has anyone else had any success in accepting themselves?

My mum always put a lot of stock into my weight and would tell me not to ‘give up’

Personally I think fitness is way more important than weight. I'm a 14/16 and definitely overweight, but over 50 and struggling with low metabolism in menopause. Of course I'd love to be slimmer but I just don't want to make myself miserable by starving myself. But I exercise at least 5 times a week, sometimes more, and am the fittest I've ever been. That's the thing that I focus on and I've accepted my body shape as it is now.

Going by BMI I’m about 1.5 stones over where I ought to be. I haven’t been eating very well or moving my body much lately, as I’m at home a lot. But I’ve also had a baby and a significant bereavement in the last couple of years. I am choosing to be kind to myself and recognise that I could treat my body a bit better by nourishing it more and moving it more. But the last few years have been a lot and ultimately changing my exterior isn’t going to change who I am as a person. I’m focusing on that as well - using my energy to pursue the things I enjoy rather than fretting about my size or my weight. I was content at half a stone lighter and when I’m back there through doing the things I’ve just described, I’m not going to worry any more. My preferred size isn’t what it ought to be going by all the sensible metrics but it’s one that is for me very manageable and sustainable. I’ll be 10st when I should be a bit over 9st but I’d quite frankly rather put my energy into hobbies, children, husband than obsessing over my calorie intake.

It's up to you really...

I put on weight in early peri. I was so sad. I had always been slim. Then my dresses didn't fit and I thought I'd have to give them away.

I was even sadder at that prospect!!

What I did in the end was accept the change. No longer could I eat what I like, even eat normally. I read that aging women need x hundred calories less per day, so I started fasting. Discovered how nice it is to go without food for hours, and the weight just dropped off. I now weigh less than I did 15 years ago.

Try fasting? I mean if it makes you want to give up the will to live, just carry on. Looks arent everything, I just think it isnt necessarily game over yet....

It depends how YOU feel about it. I like to be a 10-12 and don't feel comfortable being bigger, hate having to buy bigger clothes. I'm sticking to a 1200 cal per day diet and it's coming off 1-2lbs a week - it is much slower when you hit your 40's imo.

And don't mean this in a nasty way honestly but sertraline doesn't physically make you put weight on - it increases your appetite but if you were sticking to a calorie controlled diet you won't put on weight. Keep a food diary and write down every single thing that passes your lips and ask your SW consultant to have a look with you. You are probably consuming more calories than you realise. For instance SW peddles the myth that you can eat as many carbs as you like and should still lose weight - if you are eating loads of pasta for instance and then still using your maximum syns you're not going to lose. Try to snack on fruit and veg. I also find fasting works well for me, I don't eat breakfast and now don't feel hungry until about 1pm.

I know what I’m doing with dieting - I’ve done it all my life! Successfully! None of it seems to work any more so it seems like a choice between starving myself or accepting my body as it is.

I don’t eat breakfast, don’t eat bread, no crisps or chocolate. Snack on fruit, only eat whole foods. 20 min speed walking, 15 minute cross trainer and 30 minutes swimming a day. Stayed the same, not an ounce off.

Have you worked out your bmi and tdee? What is your height, weight and how many cals do you consume a day currently?

I certainly wouldn't starve myself to be a certain size, I do sympathise with how frustrating it is when you feel like you're doing everything and it doesn't work. Are you giving it enough of a chance?

I have also found I got weight gain that has been very hard to drop when on some antidepressants. Not all of them have this effect on me though, although it's a very individual thing how your body reacts to each med. Have you considered trying to switch your medication over to something else? P one

Of course you don't have to if you find Sertraline is helping you massively. Absolutely don't blame yourself for the weight gain though in that case. You are prioritising your mental health at this stage which is not an incorrect decision.

5 foot 7, 13 stone (was always happy around 10.7/11 stone). I eat 1200 calories a day. Always on my feet (10000 steps as am a teacher)

Sertraline saved my life and my marriage. I have pre menstrual psychosis and would become paranoid and suicidal for 2 weeks every month. I could decrease back to 50 g soon. I’m currently off work as struggling with my dad’s death but found it difficult to lose weight while still at work.

Sertraline increased my appetite massively when I took it. Honestly I felt like it gave me an insight into why so many people struggle with weight, I'd always been one of those people who could 'eat whatever they want and not put on weight' but that was because naturally I didn't want to eat much, or eat big portions. That and being reasonably active (walking etc) meant it was easy to be slim. It wasn't because I had unlimited willpower!

On sertraline I felt hungry a lot of the time, I wasn't satisfied with the same portion sizes as before. Sure while I was on it I could have tried to fight it, but the reality was I didn't want to fight something that affected me constantly throughout the day.

If you're fit and healthy and happy, personally I'd try to accept it.