AIBU to ask if you felt listened to growing up in a large family/with a single parent?

[isurvived3under2]

I am on my own with 3 little DCs. Things are mostly ok but I do feel like 80% of our conversations are prefaced by 'Wait a moment, your brother/sister is talking'. They are quite good at waiting once told, but it feels like most conversations are put in a queue system.

I am doing my best but I worry they will grow up thinking I don't listen/I don't have time for them and conversations/relationships will suffer because of it.

Do you remember being told to wait for your turn to talk all the time as a child, and did it affect you?

I am one of 4 and I was never heard. My mum was either on the phone (landline) or sat at her laptop playing solitaire...

I was the youngest and so bigger, louder siblings would shout over me and get away with it.

Just remind the children to not interrupt and afterwards find that child and say "hey, what did you want to tell me?"

Phone away and listen. X

You could always allocate 10 mins per child and ask them about their days.
Make it daily so they'll know that they'll have a chance to chat and cuddle xxx

Look you have got this down to a fine art. You are doing amazingly. I take my hat off to you. You have small children who, sure, butt in. But they get told to wait and they do so. Parenting high five to you! You need no randoms on Mumsnet to tell you this. You have it in the bag.

And don't feel bad! Too many parents (sometimes myself included) hear only the loudest voice at the time. Too many parents don't hear at all. Your kids are heard and learning that others should be heard too. All round win.

I am from a large family, certainly attention was divided and I had caring responsibility young. I have grown into a confident woman, capable of independent decisions and assertive when I need to be. I make friends quite easily, I can listen and then take and compromise. I’m not easily overwhelmed and I’m pretty resilient. Overall, though I didn’t get everything, I was loved and it’s set me up for adult life well.