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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to stop DS spending £15 on pokemon cards

31 replies

stoppinattwo · 11/02/2008 21:21

He has earned £20 doing jobs on a sunday for me.............hoovering, cleaning up etc.

He wanted to go and blow the lot on pokemon cards............now as much as i think it is right to give him a choice, I told him that I thought it was a lot to spend on these cards and it might be better if he bought a variety of stuff. (the last time he bought some he was quite dissappointed and the "pokemon rush/ high" didnt last very long)

My mate thought i was tight, he had earned his money and had a right to spend it how he wanted.Which although I agree with, she doesnt have to pick up the peices when he realises that infact he has bought a bunch of twaddle for £15!!!!!

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TalkroundupElf · 11/02/2008 21:23

Well tbh i would have advised him it wasn't a good idea, and if he still went ahead and did it, he would soon realise you were right in the first place

Original poster
stoppinattwo · 11/02/2008 21:25

yeah..........i only had to say that tbh elf and he took my advice, mate said i should have left it up to him. I just thought that my advice might be worth somthing as i wasnt blinded by the shiney wrappers .....he did come home though saying "i wish i had bought more"

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ScruffyTeddy · 11/02/2008 21:28

Faced with this situation (as I have been), I have advised ds that its his money and he can spend it how he wishes..but....he should think about the cost of what he's buying, how much use he will get out of it and if its worth the money.

Reasonable I think.

And he actually listens. I have told him that if he wishes, he can buy the cards but he can also buy a lot more, from somewhere else with the same amount of money?

Stargazer · 11/02/2008 21:28

I know just how you feel. My DS was given a £50 voucher from Amazon for his birthday and decided to spend the lot on World of Warcraft trading cards (and bits). I was furious as I thought it was a waste of money. But he, rightly, pointed out it was his birthday money and he could do what he liked with it - so he bought the cards. And he's played with them about once!!! Then he asked me to get him a book he'd seen - I suggested that he waits for his next birthday and uses the money he gets then I don't think he appreciated the comment, but I do think it's given him something to think about.

However, I don't think it will stop him wasting the next lot of birthday money.

Original poster
stoppinattwo · 11/02/2008 21:31

I just find it frustrating, He understands the value of money....Oh i dont know, I feel a bit shitty now but if would have really niggled at me if he had spent the lot.

But it really wasnt my money to stop him iykwim, but to him!! they are his currency atm with his mates

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callmeovercautious · 11/02/2008 21:34

Can you talk him into saving a bit more and getting a Pokemon game for the PC or Playstation etc? I am making an assumption that a. You have a PC/game consol and b.That they do a game

But that would last longer.

If not let him spend some of it on cards and talk to him about what he could buy with the rest.

My Nephews are 4 and 7 and are larning about money atm.

It is all a game when they don't understand money but you can use it as a learning tool. The boys are saving money for what they want, my Dad bought them a starter Hornby set for Christmas and they are being so good trying to earn extra pocket money to buy one train (they are quite expensive!). They count it every week and pour over the toy catalogues looking for bargains - it is quite cute to watch But they are learning that good things cost money and that earning the money takes effort. We are all chipping in with the odd £1 here and there. e.g if they play with DD so I can do something they get a little towards the trains. Their behaviour has improved too - they are used to getting anything they want so this is a bit of a shock.

Anyway - YANBU - give a little but not the whole lot - it is a lot of money that he could get a lot more for if pointed in the right direction iyswim.

Original poster
stoppinattwo · 11/02/2008 21:38

well cautious............we were going to toys r us on the pretence of getting a game. DS had £20 and DD had £10.......but the script changed when we got there and they wouldnt find a game that they would both play!!!! So i was all for going home and wiating till they had enough money to get their own, I wouldnt have been annoyed at all...........but then no, he got the calling from the till's where the stack the blessed pokemon cards.........it called to him and he floated over!!! DD wanted to save hers till she saw the sharpei high school musical doll!!!

so you can see I didnt really have a cat in hells chance!!!

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Original poster
stoppinattwo · 11/02/2008 21:40

love the idea of saving up for trains btw...that is really good

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PeachesMcLean · 11/02/2008 21:46

WE've recently discouraged DS from buying more pokemon cards, so I don't think you're at all unreasonable. He's already spent £8 on a box, plus a couple of small packs and was going to spend more. I do not feel at all bad about stopping him, he's got more than he can carry. Though to be fair, he does take them almost everywhere with him, and has done for several months now. I'm hoping they start to disintegrate soon.

WideWebWitch · 11/02/2008 21:46

I think it's his choice. I let ds spend money on yu gi oh cards, just not my money.

WideWebWitch · 11/02/2008 21:48

I think the only way they are going to learn is if they're allowed to buy what THEY want. My idea of what to do with £20 and my son's are bound to be completely different, but I don't think it's fair to force my views on him.

2shoes · 11/02/2008 21:48

omg I feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel your paine.
I remeber when ds was obssesed with these bloody things. (we still have them!) they are the pits a con and a total waste of money.

WideWebWitch · 11/02/2008 21:48

And my word, if your son'#s anyhing like mine, he'll love them and be so thrilled with them.

Nemoandthefishes · 11/02/2008 21:49

agree YANBU

BTW ds was talking about your DS today..apparently he has 2 liverpool MA cards to swap dont know if they are any good...lol

notjustmom · 11/02/2008 21:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Heifer · 11/02/2008 21:55

Think you did the right thing SA2...

You passed on your wisdom to your son so that he to would not fall for the trap of spending all of his paper money on shiny bits of card..

Now does he fancy earning another tenner down my way? I have loads of hoovering and cleaning that needs doing....

Original poster
stoppinattwo · 12/02/2008 07:13

WWW my head tells me exactly what you have said, that was why i was in a dilema..I didnt force my views on nhime though, would never do that, I just offered my advice as his mum and thankfully he took is first go

Nemo....i am sure Ds will love to do a few swaps....bring your cards with you thisavvy

2shoes your boy is like a preview to me....tis so nice to know someone has been there before

Heifer...give him a duster and he will dust too>>> He absolutely loves cleaning up, as a baby i would leave him with a packet of wipes and bingo, clean floor!!!

NJM I have before let him loose with his money, and once tha packets are open there are tears, why did you let me spend alllll my money. He had £15 and I let him spend about £8 on cards (ish) with a view that if that was what he really wanted we could always make another visit

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Original poster
stoppinattwo · 12/02/2008 07:27

oooh Nemo, I meant tomorrow

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Buda · 12/02/2008 07:35

I think you did the right thing. If he does still want more then he can buy some. Buying them all at once means they get opened and the anticipation/pleasure is over quite quickly. But now he has some and if he does decide he wants more then he makes an educated decision and gets the anticipation and pleasure all over again.

Original poster
stoppinattwo · 12/02/2008 08:08

thats it exactly buda......he got all giddy in toyrus when he saw the cards,and i thought he wasnt making a good decision, bit fanatical iykwim [kid in a sweetshop emotion]. I thought if you really want these, you will still want them at the weekend and so just have a few. didnt say that to him thought or he would hold mt to taking him back at the weekend

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wineisthewaytomyheart · 12/02/2008 11:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

loopylou6 · 12/02/2008 11:50

nope YANBU i have same argument with DS, he keeps spending all his money on them silly football cards, match attacks or shoot out or something like that

Original poster
stoppinattwo · 12/02/2008 13:02

oh not not offended wine (name change??)

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cory · 12/02/2008 13:36

We have agreed a set of rules of money in our house. Their (small) weekly allowance is theirs to spend as foolishly as they want; the most I will ever do is to remind them that 'you did say you wanted to save up for such and such'.
On the other hand, we encourage them to buy something bigger, more of a gift, with their birthday money, so they can tell the donor what they got. Something like a ds game or some clothes would be fine, but not 250 lollipops.
Don't pay mine for doing jobs around the house; I'd probably have to count that as an allowance if I did, though 20 pounds would be a lot of money for us, particularly for a child young enough to want Pokemon cards. So I'd probably do what you did and ask him to wait and consider.

Original poster
stoppinattwo · 12/02/2008 15:36

oh yes that was the other thing...........it took him 5 weeks to svae it up, to try and blow all his hard earned cash on cards ....some men never learn, suppose one day it will be cars booze n wimmin

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