‘The girls’

[Girlygirlgirl]

I’m fairly certain I’m not being unreasonable in getting irritated by this, but does this irk anyone else?

I started a new job 6 weeks ago with a new organisation. In our department there are two types of job role. My role is highly qualified, the other role is also skilled but less qualified, and supports my role.

The people that do the other role are collectively called ‘the girls’. For example ‘the girls can do that piece of work’ or ‘give it to the girls to action’. I don’t get it. They are not girls, they are grown women!

Everyone who does my role is also female. We are all women! So why are they ‘the girls’? In my old organisation we called them by an abbreviation of their job title.

I do! I have a team that consists mostly of younger men (22-30) and i often refer to them as “the boys”. We have a very informal atmosphere together.

People can say what they want in their friendship circles and personal life, but in the workplace calling one group of more junior women "girls" sounds patronising and would annoy me.

I also don't like it when people talk about getting the "boys from IT" to fix something. They're not boys. They're trained IT technicians in a professional role.

It seems to be done when someone wants to highlight that they are more senior to the person they're talking about, but rather than refer to the relevant team they have to infantalise them as well

You are right. Can you start saying ‘team’ and sort-of correct people when it’s used?

if I said girls at my work HR would have serious words with me

I would correct these each and every time.

Really doesn't bother me and I'd say, if you're so new to this workplace, don't rock the boat before you've even left the shore...

I thought this was going to be a reference to breasts - she had the "girls" on show in that dress. I never know whether to laugh or be horrified, I've only ever heard other women use the phrase.
But I see you are talking about the girls in the office or girls in the backroom, as opposed to the men doing the real work. Yeah, I hate that, it's demeaning crap.

Solicitor here? As a trainee our pool of secretaries were referred to by the partners/fee earning staff as “the girls” despite them all (bar one) being about 60. They all as a pool did our work so it wouldn’t have been like a partner could say “ask (name)” to do it, and I actually think if we’d said “ask the secretaries to do it” that’s very impersonal and cold and in fact they were all amazing and their skills were far beyond purely a secretarial role. “The girls” was affectionate.

@IDontWantToBeAPie phrased it better than I did.

It’s not the use of the word girls in general it’s the fact it’s the supporting role that are referred to as girls. Particularly as we are all female, so really we are all ‘girls’. It is patronising.

They don't call OP or the women doing the same job as her by it, just the women doing the support role.

I agree that I wouldn't like it however I think it's for them to challenge rather than someone who's new to the organisation to be offended on their behalf, when they might all be perfectly happy with it. However by all means don't use the term yourself and of course if any of them ever raise it as an issue 100% back them up. If you start saying "the paralegals" for example you might find others follow your lead.

Do the other women doing your role call them "the girls" too? Or is it other departments?

Very ick in this context. The purpose is to point out that their work is less demanding. There are context when I'm Totally okay with "the girls" but higher ups referring to group of employees is not.

It’s the other people doing my role that call them girls. I don’t know what other departments call them.

I’m not planning on rocking the boat and I don’t know anyone well enough to know if ‘the girls’ in question are offended.

If they don't like it they can ask for it to stop. But if they don't like being called "the Team" or "the colleagues" they should also be able to object. No-one likes their language being policed - but everyone should have the right to object to something they feel uncomfortable with.

I work with a female manager who often says "these are my boys, my lovely boys" about a certain team.

I thought it was funny till I saw the expressions on the faces of the female team members 🤮

Someone at work referred to their breasts as 'The girls' the other day. That is far worse imo.

@DutchCowgirl
"I do! I have a team that consists mostly of younger men (22-30) and i often refer to them as “the boys”. We have a very informal atmosphere together."
Wow are you the boss I just posted about?
Mostly boys?
I think that could be annoying and exclusionary.

I think as a ‘highly qualified’ senior, it is up to you to try and subvert the culture by either calling it out, or if you don’t feel up to that, correcting people - eg ‘the girls? Oh you mean the support team?’

Even if they don’t mind, it’s still sexist and patronising and frankly, unprofessional. You can change things.

Because it is demeaning, and patronising.

Going out with the girls has a completely different meaning to referring to ‘the girls’ within a professional context, where it has connotations of a hierarchy.

Good for you for noticing.

Hilariously I call my boobs 'the girls' 🤣 so find these thread amazing

I got called 'the girls" buy a senior male manager once, I was in a team of 2, in our 30's/40's, I calmly said "I think you mean women there >name<" and he had the gall to say he thought I'd be pleased as it made me sound younger!!
I now do a frontline low paid role at a charity as I like it, I'm now 50, and yes you guessed it, called "the girls" again at my age!

I really cba any more but I do judge mwah ha ha

I do say it ironically socially. Hope everyone knows its ironic.....

I was like that at your age, but I don’t think I understood the true meaning or necessity of feminism back then. I felt the word ‘woman’ was too matronly, and although I’d never have admitted it at the time, I wanted to be seen as ‘adorable’ by everyone.

Once I hit my early/mid 30’s I started to feel the sexism and misogyny in the world. I realised the internalised misogyny that stopped me calling myself a woman and grew to love the word and realise what a nob I’d been.

Im a little envious of you though, as once you see what an awful term it is, and the fact that (especially when used in the workplace,) it goes hand in hand with sexism and misogyny, you can’t unsee it.

I kind of miss those days in blissful ignorance. 🙃

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I'd just start referring to the support team as just that. The support team or some such name. I can't say "the girls " or "the boys" in a work setting. I'd feel like an idiot. Somehow it's demeaning to the women and infantilises the men.

Actually, while I don't agree with policing language, if it is used to patronise then no I don't think that is acceptable- so in your example op I do agree that yanbu, one group of senior females being described as women but more junior female colleagues as girls then using the term to show subordination then that is wrong.

People should be able to refer to friendship or equals as girls as a friendly term though, in that case it is not offensive.

I had a CFO who referred to the office and finance team as “the girls”. When he was appointed to CEO and my direct line manager, I left before he took on the role.

Also interviewed a chef who called his team “his ladies”. He didn’t get the job.

it sounds like Mad Men and not in a good Don Draper way.

I HATE THIS

There are only women at my work. There are a number of people the level above me and then there are two people at my level - "assistants" we shall say. The boss is always referring to us 2 as 'the girls' but never says it about anyone else. It's like we are less-than. It's infuriating

I personally find it demeaning when people don't give me the respect of having my own opinion.

I'm just not fussed by it. Not every issue has to be seen the same way by everyone, even if they're broadly on the same side.

All else is fascism.