To have said that Mothers' Day does not trump a birthday?

[coverp]

Friend is upset with me. She was ranting that her DH's birthday falls on mothers' day this year and that her DH doesn't think that the day should be 'hers'.

I said I was team DH and suggested they could:

A) celebrate one on Saturday, one on Sunday so they both get a whole day which is all about them
B) do something special all together as a family on Sunday to celebrate both
C) remember that grown up birthdays are pretty much a non-event and mothers' day is largely a commercialised excuse for flowers and cards, and stop fighting over something so petty

Admittedly I was probably grumpier than I needed to be, but she was having this rant in front of a friend who has literally just lost (within the last month) her mother to a horrible and painful terminal illness.

WIBU? Would you expect your other half to put their birthday behind mothers' day?

Ridiculous.

I am not at all fussed about Mothers Day. DD (who cannot keep a secret) has made me a gift and a card and once I've she's opened them, that's the day done. It's a normal day.

But equally, I'm exactly the same about my birthday, I'm a grown up - I don't need (or want) a whole load of fuss. except for my 50th when I'm expecting parades, balloons and cake

1. Your friend was hugely insensitive to your bereaved friend and should be ashamed of herself.
2. I will never understand this obsession with actual days. Surely her and her DH just agree how they're going to do this one so everyone feels the love. Swap days around being the obvious first choice. Alternatives could be that as a family they go off somewhere where neither has to lift a finger etc etc. It's ridiculous and childish to be this worked up. And I speak as someone who loves both mothers day AND birthdays and is quite happy to make a fuss for both.

I’m sorry for your loss op. Very insensitive of your DF.

DM just told me to stick a card in the post to her, rather than visit, because it’s my Mother’s Day too. I will be thrilled for teen to give me a card and a hug.
I find it baffling people get so worked up about Mother’s Day plans/gifts/meals out tbh.

You need more intelligent friends @coverp

Imagine their kids growing up in this environment. 😳

This goes beyond lack of empathy and falls well inside the category of crass, possibly also unforgiveable. I suspect she'll be minus one friend to celebrate with in the future. Of all the insensitive ways to behave.

Christ the pair of them need to get a bloody grip.

I would expect to celebrate both days. The birthday could be shifted to the Saturday.

She needs to suck it up buttercup.
My birthday is on Valentines every year
Best mates is Christmas day!

C.

How many times does any birthday fall on Mother's Day?

We are celebrating MD next weekend. This weekend is about DDs birthday.

Other DDs birthday sometimes coincides with fathers day.

What a silly bitch.

It's my daughters birthday on Mother's Day ..she's going to be 30
We are going out to lunch..there will be a birthday cake etc..she chose the venue and the guest list .
I'm not bothered if it's 'all about her' !

Every so often my birthday falls in Mother's Day, so I used to have around three birthdays. Mother's day combined with my birthday, which involved my Mum, Nan and sister. A birthday with my children and a birthday night out/city break. It's simple, Mother's Day lunch, birthday night. YABU to declare other people's birthdays a non event.