To ask what you do about none-responders to party invites

User923081 · 2023-03-15T15:20:12+00:00

Just that really. I've invited all of my child's infant class to her birthday party. Most have responded and lots coming but there's almost half the class who haven't responded one way or the other despite 2 invites whatsapp group which all see. What do you do about food and party favours? I definitely don't want to fork out more than needed on party bags etc especially since even the recyclable bits aren't exactly environmentally friendly. However I also don't want to commit the faux pas of not having enough. Do people tend to just suck it up and buy more than needed? Am I safe to assume that if they haven't responded now they won't be coming? You can probably tell I haven't done this often

Normandy144 · 15/03/2023 15:24

Has the RSVP deadline passed? Also if it's a WhatsApp class invite was everyone aware it was an all class invite?

In your shoes, tedious as it sounds I would individually contact anyone who hasn't RSVPd by WhatsApp and with a clear message naming their child and say something like. "Can you please let me know by x date whether little Jane/John is coming to X's party - and then repost the invite".

If you then don't hear anything then don't buy for them or cater for them.

JudgeRudy · 15/03/2023 15:27

What does one do or what would I do? I'd chase up with an individual text or call stating that if you don't reply you're not coming.....and I'd stick to it too. When mummy turns up with Ben I'd say, oh I'm sorry we sorted numbers now. Mummy didnt let me know, but if you want to come back in an hour I'm sure he can join us for some games....would you like that Ben?" This allows kid not to be too upset but also puts the onus on mum. I'd do same with uninvited siblings too.....but I'm tough!

ToBeOrNotToBe2023 · 15/03/2023 15:28

When is the party? If it is this weekend then I’d assume that they weren’t coming. If it’s still a few weeks away then I’d wait a little longer before buying food etc.

My DD had 29 acceptances for her party and I think we catered for 35 just in case we received a few last min acceptances. I wouldn’t have catered for the 45 that were invited just on the off chance. You’ll likely have loads of food left catering for the actual number as my DD and her friends had a few sandwiches, pizza, sweets and went straight back to playing at soft play!

CharlotteDoyle · 15/03/2023 15:32

Can you not just send another message saying it's the final call for anyone who hasn't RSVP'd because you need to confirm numbers today. If there are still some who don't reply I think you can assume they're not coming. But have an extra 2-3 party bags on hand in case any unexpected CFs turn up on the day..

Ineedsleepandcoffee · 15/03/2023 15:32

I wouldn't chase people and just assume they are not coming but buy a few spares for party bags, even if just some packs of sweets that won't go to waste.
And i generally over cater anyway for party for

IHateLegDay · 15/03/2023 15:35

Ineedsleepandcoffee · 15/03/2023 15:32

I wouldn't chase people and just assume they are not coming but buy a few spares for party bags, even if just some packs of sweets that won't go to waste.
And i generally over cater anyway for party for

I do the same.

TempName247 · 15/03/2023 15:48

If it’s a class WhatsApp I would message saying thanks to those who have rsvp’d so far, if there are any who have yet to do so please can you confirm by X date so we can finalise numbers

WonderingWanda · 15/03/2023 16:06

If it's a bit group party where it doesn't matter too much just have a few spare party bags. I have had several non responses to organised pre paid activities and even a no show who had said they were coming when I chased them. It's pretty rude in my opinion.

What about one final group message 'Thank you to those of you who've let me know if you're child can make it, sorry that x, you and z are unable to make it on this occasion'

EastEndQueen · 15/03/2023 16:37

It’s SO ANNOYING- I’ve noticed recently most of the RSVPs come in the week before (I think people are hedging their bets before that rather than tie down all their weekends to parties. Which makes sense but then yes, all the things you said.

My solution now is that I buy for full attendance and then try to plan food and party bags to minimise waste if there is less than that. So I buy multipacks of things like breadsticks and mini chedders rather than sharing bags so I can use them in packed lunches etc. With party bags I tend to get things like baking kits (stick in the cupboard for a rainy Sunday) or things I can reuse in Xmas stockings/ for long journeys/ as a little extra bonus gift for a child later in the year.

Original poster

User923081 · 15/03/2023 21:08

EastEndQueen · 15/03/2023 16:37

It’s SO ANNOYING- I’ve noticed recently most of the RSVPs come in the week before (I think people are hedging their bets before that rather than tie down all their weekends to parties. Which makes sense but then yes, all the things you said.

My solution now is that I buy for full attendance and then try to plan food and party bags to minimise waste if there is less than that. So I buy multipacks of things like breadsticks and mini chedders rather than sharing bags so I can use them in packed lunches etc. With party bags I tend to get things like baking kits (stick in the cupboard for a rainy Sunday) or things I can reuse in Xmas stockings/ for long journeys/ as a little extra bonus gift for a child later in the year.

It is annoying and wheras I'm keen to maintain the community spirit of the school and invite the entire class whilst the kiddies are young I'm tempted to make a mental note of those that made no response and not invite them next year because I just think it's bloody rude and pretty shitty to not only my kid but their own kid too.

This is great advice especially buying multipacks. Thanks for that! I think I'll just cater for roughly all invited to be safe but as I said I might just invite the people who are actually engaged enough to respond at least next year. There's plenty of them

Thanks everyone for your advice x

OP posts:

BettyOBarley · 15/03/2023 21:13

When is the party?

In my experience a lot do leave it to the last minute. (A lot drop out at the last minute too!)

Of all the parties I've done, no one who hasn't responded has just turned up though. It usually means they aren't coming.

Olaftree · 15/03/2023 21:15

I chase up. It’s so rude and annoying!

Worse is all the no shows from people who said they were coming.

MunchMonster · 15/03/2023 21:18

I'd assume people who haven't replied aren't coming.

Straysocks · 15/03/2023 21:21

I always leave some information out of the invitation to a big group. Might say 'soft play' rather than give the venue name or 'Sunday afternoon' rather a specified time. Then provide all info to a response.

OldSkoolLikeHappyShopper · 15/03/2023 21:27

I agree with a PP, IME if they haven’t replied, they won’t show up. Never once happened. And likely you will get people who have said yes who just won’t show up too, or have some last minute reason for not coming.

KateAusten · 15/03/2023 21:39

You give a date to RSVP by

Those who haven't got back to you once the date has passed are no longer invited

thecatsthecats · 15/03/2023 21:43

Tailor your plans so it doesn't matter how many turn up.

Games? Sleeping lions works with all numbers.
Gift bags? Lucky dip toy, slice of cake, lucky dip sweets. Use the rest for gifts.
Food? Massive bowls of pesto pasta that can be frozen/used later. Only open as many crisps/snacks as suits attendees.