To be so f*cking annoyed

[bloodyangry3]

I’m so so annoyed. Mainly at myself for not being pushy enough but also at the system.

I have been saying for around 15 years that there’s something not right about my hormones. I started my periods at a normal age and developed normally in other ways, but my periods very quickly became non existent. I had a gut feeling something wasn’t right but kept getting told that it was normal during puberty. I had a thyroid blood test after my mum insisted on it and was told it was fine and no other tests were needed and that things would improve as I got older. But it never did.

Ive been back so many times and told there is nothing wrong with my hormones and no need to investigate. My periods have become so irregular they have basically stopped altogether.

I had to pay privately for several hormone blood tests as nobody would take me seriously. The results are off the scale for some hormones- one of them is so low it was basically undetectable and there were several where the reference range was over 100x higher than my result. Conversely, other results were much much higher than the reference result. The doctor who reviewed it said that he had never seen such off results and some of my hormones were almost absent altogether.

I know it’s been found now, and I know it’s nobody’s fault it’s taken so long to pick up. But I’ve said for 15 years that there’s something wrong with my hormones and apart from one blood test as a 15 year old nobody has bothered with it or taken me seriously. I’ve been treated at times (not by everyone) as if I’m hysterical and I’ve had eye rolling and told to stop expecting a period every month because apparently it’s sometimes normal not to have periods.

im annoyed at myself for letting myself be fobbed off and I’m so annoyed it’s taken this long to be taken seriously

on the other hand, one of my male friends went to the doctor about a male reproductive issue and was taken seriously from the first appointment

Sorry not so much an AIBU as an annoyed rant. Why is it 2023 and we are still not taken seriously as women when we have problems with our bodies?😞

YANBU, that is as annoying AF. Can your hormone levels be balanced?

That is awful and it is horrendous that doctors are sometimes so dismissive and disrespectful to patients and women in particular.

Angry and frustrated as you must be, has the reviewing doctor given any explanation of what is causing the problem and whether anything can be done about it?

This is sadly the status quo for many women seeking medical care for this kind of thing. A very similar thing happened to a friend of mine – she spent several years trying to get people to take her seriously, was treated as if she were being hysterical and perhaps had mental issues instead of a physical issue, and ended up going private. They quickly found the issue and she needed urgent surgery. It's absolutely outrageous how women are treated when they seek medical treatments. I'm sorry you're going through this and I hope you get the treatment you need now.

It has finally hit me at age 43 that I have to stand up for myself when it comes to my own health and my children's.
Recently one of my young adult children has been though a serious illness and I had to be her voice.From now on I will NEVER let anyone fob us off when I know there's a problem.We've always had great dr's,it was just one urgent care nurse I had to put my foot down with.
I realize that you had no control over your care when you were younger but you do now!
I hope you get all the care you need from now on and NEVER apologize for advocating for yourself.

Sorry you’ve experienced this. Hope you can get your hormones balanced / the help that you need now. Sadly not uncommon. Gaslighting, ignoring, minimising genuine health concerns & all too commonly if you’re a woman. Often done by women GP’s themselves as well. Institutional misogyny unfortunately. Not good.

The only unreasonable thing you’ve said is:

I know it’s nobody’s fault it’s taken so long to pick up

Yes it is. It is actually someone’s job to listen to you and investigate and to give a shit. It is someone’s job to train that person to manage them, to find the tests, to decide what’s worth looking into and to advise and guide. It is their fault.

Can I ask what your symptoms are please? I’ve been going through this and feel like I’m being fobbed off. How much did you pay for private testing

Sorry this has happened to you. You'd think at some point that someone would've just taken some blood and sent it for analysis. I'm an HCP and would have done this, even if I thought there would be nothing to find, it would at least given you some reassurance.

I’ve been told they won’t test for hormones because they fluctuate so much?

Are you under an endocrinologist now?

Nothing makes me feel worse than a fluctuation in hormones. They’re deemed ‘women’s issues’ and so are widely disregarded and not considered worth exploring, especially as they’re complicated, and so fuck all gets done.

The OP has had blood tests which have shown her hormone levels are not right though? Maybe a case of testing at certain times in the menstrual cycle, or testing several times (I'm no expert on these types of tests tbh) but it's obviously possible

Go to see an endocrinologist. Privately if necessary. Do it now.

This is why half the population gets so badly let down so often. Here we are with our pesky hormones messing everything up.

Absolutely had the same thing here - for nearly 2 years I had no periods after coming off the pill. Doctors told me I was stressed, needed more vitamin c (?!?) and ultimately only focused on the fertility side i.e. under 30 so needed to wait 2 years for them to investigate.

Went for a blood test after convincing myself I had a thyroid problem, straight away they noticed an inconsistency that turned out to be a 2.5cm brain tumour.

So sorry others have been in the same situation. It’s so unfair and I’m so annoyed about it all x

Yanbu and you are right to be angry.
I don’t even bother with going to the drs about period/hormone stuff now, was told I had PCOS about 8 years ago and was sent off with this knowledge but no explanation on how to manage my symptoms. I have kept a period diary - there is no pattern to my non existent cycle, my moods swing violently.
It’s so shit. I just don’t have any energy to go back and talk about it.

A trick I’ve picked up that gets GPs to investigate hormonal issues: say you think you have something like cardiac problems and they’ll assume you’re a hysterical woman who must have a hormone imbalance and send you to endocrinology instead…but it runs the inevitable risk of the “you must have anxiety, go away” response that GPs give to 99.9% of things that they can’t give antibiotics for.

My heavy periods were only properly diagnosed and treated because I developed a DVT.

Many blood tests were carried out, one of which showed I was horrendously anaemic. Hospital phoned GP and told them they had to get to the bottom of this (I was at the hospital and listened to their side of the call).

Fairly quickly diagnosed with fibroids, treatment proposed and carried out.

It took the GP being told off by a hospital nurse practitioner to get the ball rolling.