Family support

[Lonejohny]

Dh and I have no family support what so ever.
GP want to be involved but on there terms. It's heartbreaking and soooooo hard. We live in a very close village and I feel like every other child has childcare through GP in an emergency.
Examples include: one child breaking an arm and going to hospital my asking gp to collect other child as dh was away working. Gp reply can't do today as we have plans for walk and pub lunch but I was thinking of taking children to the panto next month. (I reply ok. But secretly think wtf how does that help). I know mumsnet say gp do not owe babysitting but its soooo hard. Plus I feel hurt as I would never want to put a love one through what I go through re childcare.
I also have this. School will not allow children to attend parents evening gp obviously cant so I ask a friend if she can watch my kids for parents evening then we can swap. She readily agrees to watch mine but explains her kids will be going to her parents. ( again I know ibu but it secret stings my heart). People genuinely think she would be there for me.
Anyway gm has now announced to everyone that she's not going into a home but coming to live with me. Oh and I'm going to have to move as she doesn't like my house. She's no where near living in a home yet she's only 60 but wtffff. Like I said small village so at the moment I'm making mmmming noises when people talk to me about it.
Is it fair to trade emergency childcare for elderly care or did she bring me up therefore I owe. Oh I have a brother but he won't speak to her.

I think you can and should put your mother straight on the prospect of living with you, no need to make excuses just say its not happening, end of.
Your broken arm example sounds terrible and I would not have responded about the panto.
We had no parental support at all either (too old and too far away) and worked really hard at building friendships for me and the kids so we had friends and (paid) babysitters we could use, it is hard especially when you see how much easier life is/ seems for those that have loving grandparents on hand to help

Dh and I have no family support what so ever.
GP want to be involved but on there terms

so you have support but it’s on their terms rather than yours. Seems fair enough, especially as you don’t seem to have a very close loving relationship with them

I guess there's a reason your sibling is NC. I'd consider following their example.

I too live in a small community. Best advice I can give you is be honest or be direct. So either answer questions like isn't your mum having the kids with that's personal business and private I'm afraid or no, she tends not to want to help.

I'm my DD's childcare. In her case her DP turned abusive and she had to end her relationship. I do question her having the second baby tbh and I don't think that it is fair to have children and expect childcare unless it's because of changing circumstances, or in an emergency. So she should help out in an emergency. However she is entitled to be a GP, take her GC to a panto etc, but not be childcare. She isn't entitled to live with you, do shut that down.