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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should childcare be paid for and other benefits given just for having a child/children?

501 replies

Sunshine236 · 15/03/2023 12:11

Does everyone think childcare should be paid for?

It's controversial but why do some people feel entitled to be monetarily supplemented because they’ve had a child?

It’s surely a lifestyle choice and people should ensure they can afford to have children?

For sure there should absolutely be a safety net for those who have had children and circumstances change seeing them need urgent support, but I’ve read people earning £100k are receiving some kind of support each month and now we're looking to provide further free childcare.

There are so many other issues such as social care, NHS funding etc that need funding which money could go towards, rather than supplementing people who are already receiving a decent salary just because they’ve had a child/children?

OP posts:
Owlatnight · 15/03/2023 14:14

Sunshine236 · 15/03/2023 14:06

Perhaps a smaller population is what is needed so that there is enough housing, healthcare, jobs, houses, services, food etc so therefore people being more thoughtful about having children would be better?

Overpopulation has caused all sorts of problems...

With an older population jobs need to be filled but we could have greater immigration if we don't want to subsidise having children ourselves. However I don't think the population support this as they voted for Brexit to reduce immigration.

Newmum0322 · 15/03/2023 14:14

People don’t expect free childcare. They make financial decisions to be able to have children and sadly that often means giving up work because Childcare is too expensive. That’s their decision to make and their right to choose.

The GOVERNMENT has since decided that it’s not in the best interest of the economy to have people ‘priced out’ of the labour market. So they have put into place childcare funding to enable people to go back to work…

Now put down the daily fail.

TheShellBeach · 15/03/2023 14:15

Sunshine236 · 15/03/2023 14:06

Perhaps a smaller population is what is needed so that there is enough housing, healthcare, jobs, houses, services, food etc so therefore people being more thoughtful about having children would be better?

Overpopulation has caused all sorts of problems...

Lord above. There are 95 year olds now thanks to better benefits and healthcare so have a word with yourself, OP.
That's why the population has increased FFS.

Sunshine236 · 15/03/2023 14:16

But surely if we're all for supporting each other and ensuring there are children and people in the future then those earning more are willing to contribute more? .... oh no they'll jump ship. So why should people without children contribute to help these people?

OP posts:
inamarina · 15/03/2023 14:16

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 15/03/2023 13:39

Exactly.

I never hear parents offering to repay society for the benefits they took, after their kids turn out to be abusers, addicts, unemployable, deadbeat parents, criminals or otherwise drains on the community. Imagine if the handouts came with actual accountability!

Since we’re living in a mostly functioning society and not some crime-ridden dystopia, I’d say that most children turn out alright.
They do become doctors, nurses, teachers or contribute to the society in other ways.
Some of them don’t, but what’s the solution? For people to stop having children because some of them might become drug addicts? Who should be able to have children (if anyone)?

SleepingStandingUp · 15/03/2023 14:16

Thesharkradar · 15/03/2023 14:04

As countries modernise they will also experience falling birth rates and will be unwilling to ship their young people off to perform 'grunt work' for other countries.

Indeed, and we should not be encouraging the importation of Labour to do work we consider our kids to be too good for our own children.

But it OPs world, I wonder if that modernisation would be pushed against by the "developed" world in order to prop up our population decline. It would create a real two tier system where pressure for the top jobs from the local population would increase, and pressure to fill the less paid jobs externally would increase.

Presumably these people would be fitted with mandatory contraception at the border op?

dumdididum · 15/03/2023 14:16

You can't receive child benefit if you earn 100K. I think the threshold is almost half that. Assuming you don't lose your job - which would drastically effect your income - once you go over the threshold you must pay it back. It is a benefit to do it this way because it does somehow contribute to NI contributions of the parent. It is also a way of keeping track of the children for nationality reasons eg both DH and myself have British parents, but were born overseas. Our kids also ended up overseas, but their kids will be stateless unless they stay in UK for 3 years.

HamBone · 15/03/2023 14:16

Owlatnight · 15/03/2023 14:14

With an older population jobs need to be filled but we could have greater immigration if we don't want to subsidise having children ourselves. However I don't think the population support this as they voted for Brexit to reduce immigration.

In theory this could work, @Owlatnight , but the birth rate is declining globally so it would only work for so long. We're all living longer, that's the real issue!

pinksheetss · 15/03/2023 14:17

Sunshine236 · 15/03/2023 14:16

But surely if we're all for supporting each other and ensuring there are children and people in the future then those earning more are willing to contribute more? .... oh no they'll jump ship. So why should people without children contribute to help these people?

Why should I contribute to help you use our healthcare system?
Why should I contribute to go towards your pension when you retire?

SleepingStandingUp · 15/03/2023 14:17

Sunshine236 · 15/03/2023 14:06

Perhaps a smaller population is what is needed so that there is enough housing, healthcare, jobs, houses, services, food etc so therefore people being more thoughtful about having children would be better?

Overpopulation has caused all sorts of problems...

You'd need a sustainable population drop off across all sectors of society, not just banning 90% of the population from having kids.

BigSmokeyBacon · 15/03/2023 14:18

It's a long-term economic solution. We need parents to work, we need people to have kids, these kids grow up to pay taxes and work, etc. People can't work if they're at home with their kids because their wages don't cover childcare costs.

herewegoroundthebastardbush · 15/03/2023 14:18

Sunshine236 · 15/03/2023 14:16

But surely if we're all for supporting each other and ensuring there are children and people in the future then those earning more are willing to contribute more? .... oh no they'll jump ship. So why should people without children contribute to help these people?

You will very rarely find people arguing for subsidised childcare arguing against higher rate taxes for the richest. So who exactly are you arguing with?

traytablestowed · 15/03/2023 14:19

All these people talking about parents being paid or subsidised to have children. Do you understand that childcare providers will be paid this money, not parents? Parents will obviously benefit by having their childcare costs reduced by 20/30/40/50% (depending on how many days they use and how the providers choose to implement), but they are not making any money here.

Ovidnaso · 15/03/2023 14:19

SleepingStandingUp · 15/03/2023 14:17

You'd need a sustainable population drop off across all sectors of society, not just banning 90% of the population from having kids.

There's more than enough of these to go round already, but it isn't distributed fairly.

Ovidnaso · 15/03/2023 14:19

Ovidnaso · 15/03/2023 14:19

There's more than enough of these to go round already, but it isn't distributed fairly.

Sorry, quoted wrong bit. I agree with you.

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 15/03/2023 14:19

How about means testing the child care costs?
Hours needed inkl. travel time + proof of income and working hours.

dumdididum · 15/03/2023 14:20

Completely misread question as child benefit - sorry!

inamarina · 15/03/2023 14:20

SleepingStandingUp · 15/03/2023 13:41

So you're saving for your care on your old age. Who do you think will be caring for you and at what cost? You think people who are earning the 6 or 7 figures they need to be able to pay for their child's entire costs are going to be encouraging their kids to work for a pittance as your carer meaning they can't have kids of their own? Get real.

You basically want to massively cut population figures AND expect there to be someone to do the grunt work for you in your old age.

Well said. It’s really not well thought through all that “I’m saving for my own retirement, I won’t need anyone!”

threeisacharm18 · 15/03/2023 14:20

I hate crabs in the barrel mentality. 'If I don't get something then why should you?'
Horrible through process

Sunshine236 · 15/03/2023 14:20

So my taxes should go towards someone to help them and their children, but the same people wouldn't pay more to help those less off in society to be able to better access healthcare, reduce class sizes etc by paying for more private healhcare, childcare.... to help everyone and the country and its future

OP posts:
Chocchops72 · 15/03/2023 14:21

Having children isn't a lifestyle choice. It's a perfectly normal thing to do, and done by billions across the world. Society benefits when families are supported, and especially when women are supported to be able to choose to work.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 15/03/2023 14:21

traytablestowed · 15/03/2023 13:58

Wtf is this thread?! You think only rich people should be allowed have children?

Personally, I think people should use their teens and at least most of their 20s focusing on education, work experience, savings and financial solvency, establishing a time-tested relationship with a stable partner, etc. -- if they did, instead of producing offspring they aren't prepared to support, and being entangled in crappy relationships with losers, there would not BE so many poor people.

Then they could go on to have their families. But as they say on airplanes, people need to put their own oxygen masks on first. If they can't adequately support themselves, it is absurd to be creating additional human beings.

HamBone · 15/03/2023 14:21

Sunshine236 · 15/03/2023 14:16

But surely if we're all for supporting each other and ensuring there are children and people in the future then those earning more are willing to contribute more? .... oh no they'll jump ship. So why should people without children contribute to help these people?

But @Sunshine236 if you want the wealthier to use private schools and private healthcare to free up resources, that rule will need to apply to the child free as well. If you ever earn more than 50K and pay 40% tax, you won't be able to use the NHS either, for example.

You might decide to jump ship too!

pinksheetss · 15/03/2023 14:22

Sunshine236 · 15/03/2023 14:20

So my taxes should go towards someone to help them and their children, but the same people wouldn't pay more to help those less off in society to be able to better access healthcare, reduce class sizes etc by paying for more private healhcare, childcare.... to help everyone and the country and its future

Oh come on now, surely you are trolling now?

You know fine well those people are paying to contribute and would. I certainly do.
What I have said is WHY do you feel we should contribute to things that personally benefit you but if it comes to other peoples children you don't care/think benefits should help because it's no real care of yours.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 15/03/2023 14:22

Chocchops72 · 15/03/2023 14:21

Having children isn't a lifestyle choice. It's a perfectly normal thing to do, and done by billions across the world. Society benefits when families are supported, and especially when women are supported to be able to choose to work.

We've had nearly 100 percent total control over our fertility for generations now. We aren't animals. Parenthood is a lifestyle choice in the 21st century, and should be undertaken responsibily and with accountability for outcomes.