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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should childcare be paid for and other benefits given just for having a child/children?

501 replies

Sunshine236 · 15/03/2023 12:11

Does everyone think childcare should be paid for?

It's controversial but why do some people feel entitled to be monetarily supplemented because they’ve had a child?

It’s surely a lifestyle choice and people should ensure they can afford to have children?

For sure there should absolutely be a safety net for those who have had children and circumstances change seeing them need urgent support, but I’ve read people earning £100k are receiving some kind of support each month and now we're looking to provide further free childcare.

There are so many other issues such as social care, NHS funding etc that need funding which money could go towards, rather than supplementing people who are already receiving a decent salary just because they’ve had a child/children?

OP posts:
SemperIdem · 15/03/2023 14:34

Those “lifestyle choices” are the workforce of the future.

Dodgeitornot · 15/03/2023 14:35

It's not a lifestyle choice OP. A healthy birth rate is very important for the economy.

hotcrossbiscuit · 15/03/2023 14:36

The government aren't doing this out of the kindness of their hearts. They want more people in the workforce to improve the economy.

One way of doing this is incentivising parents to put their kids in childcare from 9 months and get back to work.

Also 🙄 on "lifestyle choice". Always such a naive and loaded comment (usually made by bitter people who don't have kids).

TurnLeftAtTheBakery · 15/03/2023 14:36

You're assuming there's no benefit to society in having children and also that there's no benefit in encouraging parents (largely mothers) back to work. Both I'd argue are wrong assumptions.

Children grow up and become taxpayers who fund services for everyone. There are many parents who do take into account the cost of having children. I'd argue that the higher age of women having children for the first time is because they can't afford them when they're younger. If the government gives out free childcare and the parent who is working part-time or not at all decides to use it and start working more then it's not the parents who are at fault. They're making decisions to best help their families and in this case it will bring more people into the workforce which will help with the economy.

WigglyWigglyWiggly · 15/03/2023 14:41

Sunshine236 · 15/03/2023 12:32

WigglyWigglyWiggly it is not my responsibility to fund a child you have brought into the world. That is your responsibility as parent.

And having children definitely is a lifestyle choice.

I’m a high earner so you’re not funding shit all for me. Why is it my job to pay for your healthcare? Your health is your problem. Why is it my job to pay for your pension? Your heating? Your new insulation? Why should I pay to maintain roads you drive on when I don’t drive and I commute by train? Why should I have to pay for legal aid when I’m above the means threshold so can’t access it? Why should I have to pay for subsidising research into conditions I will never get?

It’s called being part of a society and having the intelligence to recognise that if I contribute to those things then it improves our society to a greater extent than what I paid. If I spend £1000 a year on extra tax then I get a healthier, safer, more productive society as a result and that saves me more than £1000 a year in the long run.

HamBone · 15/03/2023 14:41

Ovidnaso · 15/03/2023 14:34

Er, humans are animals.

Not sure I understand your comment, @Ovidnaso Should societies invest in their young or not?

Do animals "educate" their young to survive? What about animals born into herds and packs- do the other adults look out for them, or just their biological parents?

smellyflowers · 15/03/2023 14:44

traytablestowed · 15/03/2023 14:00

And just for clarity. People who earn over £100k get zero help with childcare. Households where one person earns over £50k are means tested for child benefit, up to £60k - after which they get nothing. Child benefit is approx £20 per week

They can get national insurance contributions though?

WigglyWigglyWiggly · 15/03/2023 14:46

HamBone · 15/03/2023 13:49

Parents aren’t being given funding because they had a child. A child, an entirely separate human being, is being given funding provision for something that they need.

That's an interesting way of looking at it, @WigglyWigglyWiggly and it makes sense to me. Children are individuals and members of society in their own rights, not extensions of their parents.

Re. Parents on high incomes. The flip side, I suppose, is that these people are contributing a lot tax-wise so why shouldn't their children have the same support as everyone else's? It's like saying that well-off people have no right to send their children to state schools or use the NHS, because they earn too much Instead, they must all send their children to private schools and pay for private healthcare to free up resources for less affluent families. Why on earth should they when they're paying 40 or 45% tax?

As a high earner, realistically, my opinion on this is that if we did expand the funding to cover every child then taxes would go up to cover that. The people whose taxes would increase the most to cover that are the ones who would benefit from it - so you’d just be paying it yourself either way. At least this way, you’re more in control of how you do it. I do think the threshold should be increased though, it’s been stagnant for too long given how much wages and costs have risen recently. I do also think it should be a sliding scale and should consider household incomes because people are in a position at the moment where they increase salary and are worse off overall because the lose 100% of their childcare support.

HamBone · 15/03/2023 14:48

WigglyWigglyWiggly · 15/03/2023 14:41

I’m a high earner so you’re not funding shit all for me. Why is it my job to pay for your healthcare? Your health is your problem. Why is it my job to pay for your pension? Your heating? Your new insulation? Why should I pay to maintain roads you drive on when I don’t drive and I commute by train? Why should I have to pay for legal aid when I’m above the means threshold so can’t access it? Why should I have to pay for subsidising research into conditions I will never get?

It’s called being part of a society and having the intelligence to recognise that if I contribute to those things then it improves our society to a greater extent than what I paid. If I spend £1000 a year on extra tax then I get a healthier, safer, more productive society as a result and that saves me more than £1000 a year in the long run.

I hope you're not using the NHS, @WigglyWigglyWiggly , you're supposed to be funding it for everyone else and paying for your own private healthcare, y'know. Same for your children, if you have them. And when they're adults, they'll only contribute to your wellbeing, no one else's.

Passerillage · 15/03/2023 14:51

But it's not a benefit. A benefit is something that is given to you for free, with nothing requested in return.

Free childcare allows women (and some men, but realistically, staying home with babies is dumped on us) to return to work when they wish to and continue their careers, narrowing the income gap and allowing women to pay considerably more income tax over the course of their working lives, and to pay considerably more into their pensions, than they would if they had to take those key years (when they are young and probably at their most ambitious and upwardly mobile stages) out of their careers.

It also makes couples more confident about taking on crippling mortages, because they will be able to stay on two incomes for more years now.

Hunt hasn't said "Oh, I think families deserve a treat for free, because I love women and families and want the best for everyone, and I really want to penalise those selfish childless people". Hunt has said "I have done the maths, and this fully works out financially."

The alternative might be to clamp down on mortgages, to push house prices down, so that couples don't need two incomes to pay for housing, but older voters would kick off massively at their houses going down in value, so he can't do that.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 15/03/2023 14:52

BlackCatFever · 15/03/2023 14:27

You realise we need people to be having children to ensure society continues to function, right?

Take a good look around at what we've done to the planet and to other, less harmful species. Do you really think it's a good idea that our society continue to "function" as it does now?

As to using the NHS, the NHS is available to all. It's not targeted to only certain lifestyle choices.

Runningonjammiedodgers · 15/03/2023 14:54

Sunshine236 · 15/03/2023 13:35

No i'm really interested at hearing the views and learning more than just what i've read online so this is all really interesting and helpful. And yes i am saving for my old age already and planning for this - sadly my father didn't have adequate care at all and i did move to be nearer to help him and took time off work to do this. As i said that is why i'm so interested in funding for social care and carer pay... which is still very much overlooked.

So you want everyone to subsidise social care because you will use it in your old age. But don't think everyone should subsidise childcare because it's of no direct benefit to you? Even though these children will be the ones to provide social care for you in your old age? Do you not see how quickly society falls apart if we all stopped having children and just let the population die off?

And by that extension do those of us whose parents never lived to grow old, or who have terminal illnesses ourselves, get a pass on funding social care because it's of no direct benefit to us?

inamarina · 15/03/2023 14:57

Owlatnight · 15/03/2023 14:14

With an older population jobs need to be filled but we could have greater immigration if we don't want to subsidise having children ourselves. However I don't think the population support this as they voted for Brexit to reduce immigration.

I think even if more people were in favour of immigration, there’s still the question how that would work long term.
Bring people over so they can fill vacancies and then send them away again/ replace them when they reach retirement age?

SpringleDingle · 15/03/2023 14:58

People who earn 100k do not receive any benefits. Child benefit is means tested as is the 30hrs free childcare. If you earn over 100k you get a tax bill and that's it. Not complaining, just saying.... no one gives you nothing once you reach that golden number.. Of course if you and your husband live together and both earn 95k a year then you qualify but if you are a single parent on 100k a year you don't... Doesn't seem entirely fair does it!!

InPraiseOfBacchus · 15/03/2023 14:59

I agree that having children is a selfish lifestyle choice (given the rising human population and impending environmental collapse) that does NOT deserve to be paid.

BUT children didn't make that choice, and I fully support the state providing for them as much as possible, even though I don't have any. I've worked in mental health and criminal justice for ling enough to learn that kids who aren't given appropriate care and support often grow up to become VERY expensive when they turn into problematic adults who don't feel part of society.

philautia · 15/03/2023 14:59

Not having children is a lifestyle choice, if it is by choice.

Having children is the default and something all animals do. If they do not, their species dies out.

Personally, I am very excited about this budget proposal. Yes, for myself as I am currently pregnant and would love to stay working in my job, which I love. But mainly for women in general, who are often forced from the workforce as they can't afford childcare costs.

Just a note, if this goes through, we won't be receiving "taxpayers money". The childcare providers will receive government funding and we will be paying towards it. I won't be making money from this.

You might not like paying for childcare for other people's children, but those children will pay taxes that will pay for your pension and care in old age.

Sartre · 15/03/2023 14:59

People will always have children because it’s a normal and natural thing for human beings to do. People still need to work, most often both parents nowadays to sustain a household. We need a workforce so happy for taxes to be paid for childcare, same as I’m happy for them to cover education and NHS. Plenty of people use the NHS a lot because they abuse their bodies, I don’t balk at this even though that’s a lifestyle choice too.

Passerillage · 15/03/2023 15:00

Dodgeitornot · 15/03/2023 14:35

It's not a lifestyle choice OP. A healthy birth rate is very important for the economy.

Not necessarily. You can stop having babies and plug the taxpayer gap with immigration. You need bums on seats, yes, but they don't need to be home grown.

The challenge here (that a lot of other countries don't need to worry about) is that 20% (and rising rapidly) of the population is over 65 and a lot of them need to be supported by the state. We need young taxpayers to support them, but again, they don't actually need to be British. There are plenty of people in their 20's and 30's who would love to come here and work.

Passerillage · 15/03/2023 15:01

But voters, esp Conservative ones, are pretty clear about not supporting large scale immigration, so people need to be encouraged to have babies instead.

BlackCatFever · 15/03/2023 15:02

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 15/03/2023 14:52

Take a good look around at what we've done to the planet and to other, less harmful species. Do you really think it's a good idea that our society continue to "function" as it does now?

As to using the NHS, the NHS is available to all. It's not targeted to only certain lifestyle choices.

No, I think the damage done to the planet by corporations and governments is terrible. My solution for that is research and development to ensure we can support ourselves in a sustainable way. It's not to ban those we deem unworthy of having kids.

Kabalagala · 15/03/2023 15:03

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 15/03/2023 14:52

Take a good look around at what we've done to the planet and to other, less harmful species. Do you really think it's a good idea that our society continue to "function" as it does now?

As to using the NHS, the NHS is available to all. It's not targeted to only certain lifestyle choices.

Being overweight is a lifestyle choice. Smoking is a lifestyle choice. Living in a massive house is a lifestyle choice. I still have to pay for everyone to use the NHS and winter fuel payments for all pensioners.
That's how taxes work, we all pay for everything for the good of everyone.

pinksheetss · 15/03/2023 15:03

In order to continue the population women need to give birth to 2.4 children per women
Now bare in mind many women are making the decision NOT to have children and society has also made it to expensive to have many as well

Passerillage · 15/03/2023 15:03

Sartre · 15/03/2023 14:59

People will always have children because it’s a normal and natural thing for human beings to do. People still need to work, most often both parents nowadays to sustain a household. We need a workforce so happy for taxes to be paid for childcare, same as I’m happy for them to cover education and NHS. Plenty of people use the NHS a lot because they abuse their bodies, I don’t balk at this even though that’s a lifestyle choice too.

They don't always, though - look at the birthrate in South Korea. They've dropped down to 0.84 per woman. A lot of countries in Europe are looking at South Korea and Japan and thinking about what we can do to avoid that.

inamarina · 15/03/2023 15:04

TheShellBeach · 15/03/2023 14:15

Lord above. There are 95 year olds now thanks to better benefits and healthcare so have a word with yourself, OP.
That's why the population has increased FFS.

This. All those people insisting „there are too many of us!“ somehow always ignore the fact that it’s due to the increased life expectancy. Okay, so we’ll stop having children - and then what? Who‘ll be looking after the aging population?

StopGrowingPlease · 15/03/2023 15:05

I think there needs to be more support! But I don’t think people are getting as much as you think they’re getting. People should be supported to stay home with their child and take them to activities ect. rather than just giving them to a nursery all day who are probably not that bothered about them (I have worked in nurseries and some of the ‘care’ is very poor

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