Work/life dilemma

[GretaGarbled92]

I’m looking for some perspectives on a dilemma I’ve been struggling with, very much a first world problem.

I am mid forties, no children and work four days a week in an undemanding admin based job. I have been doing it a long time and have a history of virtually making my own self redundant with my efficiency. It’s a decent salary (£65k ish if I was full time) and I have no money worries and plenty of spare time and headspace and work life balance. It’s not public sector but nor is it very corporate and there’s a loose element of doing social good. I don’t hate it, don’t feel under any pressure and don’t get Sunday scaries. I know plenty of people would love to be in this situation. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to just relax and appreciate things.

I am worried that I will look back in years to come and think I wasted my potential/skills/experience. There are some potential opportunities coming up in my organisation. Same pay but they would be MUCH more demanding, with more responsibility, I’d potentially need to work five days a week and just generally need to devote more headspace to work.

The problem is I really don’t have enough to do in my current role and I’m worried my brain is turning to mush and I’m losing my confidence in my ability to do more.

I do various things in my spare time including a bit of volunteering but nothing that rocks my world.

Would you give up the easy life or count your blessings?

Not gonna lie I'd count my blessings. I'm in a demanding role, don't get a minute, never switch off. I'd give anything for the bliss you describe, at the salary you describe. Almost to the point where I'm actually unsure if this post is genuine! (Sorry)

Ha I know in some ways it does sound far too good to be true! I think it’s just I don’t feel very fulfilled. I ask myself is this it?

I'd love that to be my it. After years of not being able to switch off. I choose this job because its well paid and funds the lifestyle that I want. If I could get another job, undemanding, chilled, no pressure for the same money I'd be on it.

Sounds too good to be true to me too. An undemanding admin job that pays the equivalent of £65k a year?

If you aren't fulfilled then you should change. We all need different things so no one can tell you what the right choice is. Everyone wants a good work-life balance but being bored is wretched.

Oh my goodness this is the dream 😆 but then again, I have young kids and quite enough stress as it is. When I had no kids, I wanted to push myself as well!

Another avenue could be keeping the job but starting a hobby that stimulates you? Like learning a language, or gaining a qualification in e.g. first aid, self defence, advanced driving?

What about taking on some studying to use that part of your brain. I have a similar set up to you and I was struggling to enjoy it as I seem to cannibalise my own brain and obsess about historical, unchangable things if I give myself too much headspace. I’ve just started a distance masters with a London university. It’s been an adjustment (as it’s more work than I had anticipated!) but I’m feeling so much happier and because it’s study just for my interest it doesn’t come with the pressure and politics of a pressurised work job.
I’ve also taken up cold water dipping - starting in local lake and now even have a purpose built tub in the garden (my friends call it my anti-hot tub 🤣) - it’s never easy climbing in but the dopamine hit lasts for hours and I sleep so much better since I started doing it.

I think you need to inject some enthusiasm or passion into your life. That could either come from taking on a different job, or equally could come from a hobby or volunteering outside of your paid job. There's nothing wrong with keeping a low-stress it low-challenge job, especially as you are well-paid for it. But as you say yourself, I would be worried about looking back later and regretting not doing something else.
What are you passionate about? What do you really care about? Is it something that could become a job? Is it something that you could give some of your spare time to?

Just to give a bit more context to my current role so it doesn’t come across as so bizarre, effectively it is administrative/operational but it also has some financial management (large budget) and managing senior/powerful stakeholders. The environment is complex, but my job, after all this time, is not.

IMO fulfilment should come from outside of work. Work is just a means to an end. Otherwise you run the risk of getting to retirement age and having no point/purpose.

It sounds as if you are bored and if you are n your mid fourties then that’s over a decade more of work.
I think that I would take the other job but perhaps you can negotiate a little more money?

I am in almost exactly your position. I am counting my blessings. I do have kids though and Hobbies outside work that keep me busy and fulfilled. Could you try out some new activities?

I would definitely look towards adding in some fulfilment from another source, and stick with your current job. There is no joy is flogging yourself for a corporate entity! (Been here, done that!).

New hobbies, something creative, volunteer for a charity, community involvement in some way, clubs and organisations (maybe get onto the organising committee if you want a "job"?), school governor, local politics? There are loads of possibilities out there, and many organisations looking for competent people with a bit of time to offer.

I would be concerned that, once having moved from your current role to something more challenging, you may get to the point where you long for the quiet life once again.

I'd do the opposite - drop a day, work a three day week, and use the two spare days to do something you really want to do. Whether that's learn a new skill, volunteer, draw, whatever.