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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think colleague has proved my point re name changes

32 replies

CTRALTDEL · 15/03/2023 09:34

On Mumsnet?

Chatting about MN - colleague is an avid user - and I said I love the function that allows you to change names when posting but on threads your on it will revert back to the name you used originally for that thread.

Colleague has always used same name, it turns out but I have used lots! To keep anonymous.

Colleague loves to try to find RL people on MN and has now said is determined to find me, and all my user names! Said had tried before but never quite pinned me down!

AIBU colleague has proved my point!

OP posts:
Nurse2022 · 15/03/2023 09:36

The first rule of mumsnet is . . .

Original poster
CTRALTDEL · 15/03/2023 09:38

Colleague is going to ID me from this aren’t they??? Or are they…

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 15/03/2023 09:48

I can’t imagine having enough time on my hands that I would, completely unpaid, spend my time trying to identify people online through guesswork around posts about MILs, threadworms and school holiday woes. And I have a lot of time on my hands.

Apart from that, neither of you are right or wrong, really. Unless your colleague has positively identified several people in real life and had them confirm it, there’s no firm evidence that not name changing makes you particularly identifiable. And you’ll probably never know whether it was your name changes or the fact that nothing about your life and what you post about it makes you distinguishable from Adam that has prevented you from being identified.

Throckmorton · 15/03/2023 09:48

Wow that is creepy!

Original poster
CTRALTDEL · 15/03/2023 09:49

Colleague is always claiming to think they know who is who, along with ID-ing a Kate Middleton too (??!!) on here

OP posts:
Thatwastheweekthatwasnt · 15/03/2023 09:49

That's really creepy but also isn't doxxing illegal?

ArdeteiMasazxu · 15/03/2023 09:54

change your name once a week/once a month/every 50ish posts. vary details of ages and sexes of DC and sex of partner and the categories of employment occasionally where such details aren't relevant to the substance of your post

mumsnet is as good as it is because of its anonymity. your colleague is being a dick.

BuddhaAtSea · 15/03/2023 09:55

The first rule of mumsnet…

Anniegetyourgun · 15/03/2023 09:55

Doxxing may be illegal, but finding out who people are isn't. Saying "Aha! I've discovered your latest user name!" doesn't come under most people's definition of harassment.

smellyflowers · 15/03/2023 09:56

CTRALTDEL · 15/03/2023 09:38

Colleague is going to ID me from this aren’t they??? Or are they…

Yup

CluelessInThe21st · 15/03/2023 09:56

Err colleague if you are reading this I'd say it's pretty nasty behaviour trying to identify someone when they explicitly have told you that they don't want to be found out.

Btjdkfnn · 15/03/2023 09:58

Your colleague is a creepy fuck with too much time on hands!

Anniegetyourgun · 15/03/2023 09:58

p.s. I've been on here about 15 years and never changed my name. People who know me well have no problem spotting me from a mile off on here because of my writing style and interests, even before I mention any life details. People who don't will never recognise me because I am simply not famous.

Pollyanna58 · 15/03/2023 09:59

Sounds like your colleague has too much time on her hands. How very sad.

Anniegetyourgun · 15/03/2023 09:59

p.p.s. Your colleague really does need to find a better hobby though. This one is clearly annoying at least one person (you) so maybe they could play some puzzles or something. There are a LOT to choose from. Or go help the police find a murderer.

WinterMusings · 15/03/2023 10:00

CTRALTDEL · 15/03/2023 09:38

Colleague is going to ID me from this aren’t they??? Or are they…

Yep

Original poster
CTRALTDEL · 15/03/2023 10:07

Oh, okay. Hi Kev! I’ll never use this name again tho…
it’s not doxxing, thinking you know Kate Middleton posts tho.

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 15/03/2023 10:18

I had no idea who my dad was when he changed his name. Until he posted a photo of his cat on a thread I'd started on a thread About said cat. 🤣🤣.

RosaBonheur · 15/03/2023 10:41

Super creepy.

RosaBonheur · 15/03/2023 10:42

Toddlerteaplease · 15/03/2023 10:18

I had no idea who my dad was when he changed his name. Until he posted a photo of his cat on a thread I'd started on a thread About said cat. 🤣🤣.

Lol!

Toddlerteaplease · 15/03/2023 10:44

@RosaBonheur it was my dad who introduced me to Mumsnet in the first place. He thought AIBU is hilarious. So used to send me threads that made us laugh.

Stellaris22 · 15/03/2023 10:47

I've always assumed the name changing is people being embarrassed about their views and what they are posting. You're worried people in RL will see what you're like given anonymity.

Original poster
CTRALTDEL · 15/03/2023 11:13

@Stellaris22 I post things or ask for advice on things that I wouldn’t even ask close friends sometimes. It allows me to be open in a way I wouldn’t normally, and hear different - sometimes very different!- opinions and experiences without judgment.
well - at least it’s judgment from people I don’t really care about IRL. So I don’t care if they think I’m horrible or nasty or lazy or too thin, too fat, too rich, too poor…

OP posts:
GenuinelyDone · 15/03/2023 11:47

Stellaris22 · 15/03/2023 10:47

I've always assumed the name changing is people being embarrassed about their views and what they are posting. You're worried people in RL will see what you're like given anonymity.

I name change frequently not because of my views, but because some of the stuff I share on here is quite personal. I'm comfortable sharing anonymously, but if I keep to the same username there would definitely be enough information for people to identify me in real life.

So I name change. Sometimes my children change. Sometimes my siblings. Sometimes where I live. Sometimes the condition of my marriage. I know when I've given too many linking pieces of information and I'll change names. It doesn't change who I am or my experiences so what I share is still genuine. It just means I don't have anyone IRL commenting on something I've shared here anonymously.

Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 15/03/2023 12:01

She sounds a bit of a sad bastard. Is she one of the sad bastard pack who seem to think their long-standing Mumsnet identity really means something? 🫢