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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not to understand why people ask you if you're all packed days before you leave...

115 replies

Theoeopleversuswork · 14/03/2023 22:41

Going on a work trip in a week and a colleague asked me today if I was all packed. Eh? We are leaving next Tuesday.... I have the whole weekend and haven't even started washing.....

I've been asked this question so many times in my life and am always bemused as to why people do this and what it is supposed to achieve. I can understand shopping and making lists in good time before a trip and I can understand packing big items which you won't use daily to cut down on prep time a couple of days in advance, but what use is it to pack suitcases several days in advance?

Don't you end up having to get stuff back out of the suitcase, use it and repack it if you do this? Are people just torturing themselves to be smugly organised? Or am I missing some great life hack?

OP posts:
daimtheman · 15/03/2023 07:31

If I was going on a trip in a week I'd have made a list of everything I needed ages ago.
I'd have packed anything I won't use in the meantime.
I've got samples and travel bottles I use for toiletries for example.
Spare charger, power bank etc
I'd put the bags I'd be using in my case like packing cubes, wash bag etc
I've definitely got enough underwear to pack that ahead of time.
I'd try not to wear anything I'll want to take in the last few days.

I love packing and hate being disorganised.

Also, most of them really are just making conversation.

SallyWD · 15/03/2023 07:32

I think it depends how much you travel. DH is away with work nearly every week and is often still packing when the taxi arrives!
I think people who hardly ever go away seem to pack a week or more in advance.

WeAreTheHeroes · 15/03/2023 07:32

My top tip is to have a separate toiletry bag for travelling. You only use what's in it when you travel so no remembering to pack your toothbrush, etc. Use refillable bottles for shampoo, etc and fill up when you get back if you travel frequently. The travel size bottles of products are often better than the empty ones you can buy specifically for travel.

If you can afford to have two of certain things you always travel with then do it because it's so much easier and quicker to pack and you can leave them in the case in between trips.

Newyeardietstartstomorrow · 15/03/2023 07:32

It's definitely said either as a tongue in cheek comment, or asking if you are looking forward to your holiday, without asking if you are looking forward to your holiday. They are being nice!

MrsJBaptiste · 15/03/2023 07:39

I write down every single item of clothing I need to pack and tick it off as I go along, this way I can start packing the week before we go. Packing isn't the best job but gets you excited for your holiday! ☀️

Iloveenidblyton · 15/03/2023 07:43

Isn’t it just a conversation starter?
That’s how I’ve always interpreted the ‘packing’ question.
No need to overthink it.

Snozzlemaid · 15/03/2023 07:49

My dm packs weeks in advance, I do it hours before and am even shoving things in just before we leave.
Going away with dm next month and now every time we speak she'll give me a breakdown of what she's packed.

Tuilpmouse · 15/03/2023 07:53

Turnipworkharder · 14/03/2023 23:04

Of course you pack at least 3 days before you go. That way you know if you need to buy anything.

All toiletries go in the case,underwear, clothing ,shoes, painkillers.

Then a note on top with things to add like hairdryer any medication ect.
Or maybe it's just me that does it this way. 😀

"Of course" you can check what clothes and other stuff you have at least 3 days beforehand without actually packing them, but then you couldn't feel oh so superior at your exemplary planning...

Arrrgh, I can't bear self-satisfied posts by "Little Miss Organised" types.

Ironically, despite your feelings of smugness about your fantastic organisation that "of course" everyone surely mimics if they're a competent human (?!), ironically you're clearly not that organised at all if you're leaving it only 3 days before you go on holiday to work out whether you need to buy something to take!

bellac11 · 15/03/2023 07:57

Its just small talk for goodness sake

Its a sort of 'are you all planned and looking forward to it'

Tuilpmouse · 15/03/2023 08:01

3catsandcounting · 15/03/2023 00:36

Slightly different, but I hate being asked if I'm "ready for Christmas", especially in mid-December.
It just panics me and make me feel a bit useless.

I think some people just can't live in the moment and are always living their lives weeks in advance of the actual events, so that the actual events become anti-climaxes because the "thrill" is all in the build up! By the time the day comes, it's a bit of a damp squib in comparison to the oodles of effort that went into making everything meticulously planned weeks in advance.

GandhiDeclaredWarOnYou · 15/03/2023 08:01

My parents are like this - have holiday clothes they can pack 5 days ahead.

gettingolderandgrumpier · 15/03/2023 08:04

It’s small talk and yes it irritates me it’s up there with so you think it will rain today .
it also irritates me when people are on countdown for your holiday . Mine is less than 2 months away and a colleague has already reminded me of how far away it is yes I know I booked I’m aware . Then it’ll be are you all packed 2 -1 weeks before . Then it’ll be are you excited . Yes of course but right now I’m in the middle of month end accounts so I can’t be singing summer holiday .
im grumpy I know but I really do hate small talk I find it unnecessary a lot of the time.

MintTeaAndChocolate · 15/03/2023 08:06

Because they are odd!

Doidontimmm · 15/03/2023 08:11

I always start packing around 2 weeks before a holiday abroad as I have clothes etc I only wear abroad as too cold in Scotland! I love packing. I always buy new underwear too (think my mum used to do this) and have separate holiday towels and toiletries/toothbrush!

Theoeopleversuswork · 15/03/2023 08:15

gettingolderandgrumpier · 15/03/2023 08:04

It’s small talk and yes it irritates me it’s up there with so you think it will rain today .
it also irritates me when people are on countdown for your holiday . Mine is less than 2 months away and a colleague has already reminded me of how far away it is yes I know I booked I’m aware . Then it’ll be are you all packed 2 -1 weeks before . Then it’ll be are you excited . Yes of course but right now I’m in the middle of month end accounts so I can’t be singing summer holiday .
im grumpy I know but I really do hate small talk I find it unnecessary a lot of the time.

I also find this really bizarre and stressful.

It's the inability of being able to enjoy life in the moment and being in a perpetual state of preparation. Two months' worth of shopping and packing for a two week holiday... self-defeating because you actually spend more mental energy choosing sun-cream or knickers than you do standing somewhere, breathing in the air and looking at the sunset.

Each to their own I suppose but for me this defeats the point of going abroad in the first place.

OP posts:
GotABeatForYouMama · 15/03/2023 08:17

I pack about 2 hours before I leave.

whatapalavaaa · 15/03/2023 08:17

It’s never good to pack early for the exact reasons you say!

I have a list when go away as a family and will make sure I’ve bought anything I need a week or so before. Depending on work schedule, I’ll have everything ready by a few days before so I don’t need to collect everything when packing! So one evening I might find shoes, the next beach toys etc. But never in the case, cue rummaging through convinced that I didn’t actually pack it!

things get ticked off the list as I get them ready (on a shelf, in a box, drawer etc) then crossed off the list as they go in the suitcase the night before travel. Takes about 15 minutes to actually pack by then. Sounds complicated but it’s the best system I’ve found.

When I’m travelling alone I don’t need a list and will pack the evening before, who wants their clothes sitting crumpled in a case for days on end!

Mandasporian · 15/03/2023 08:18

They really don't care! They're just being polite, showing an interest in your life.

Really, don't sweat over this.

ferneytorro · 15/03/2023 08:28

Tuilpmouse · 15/03/2023 07:53

"Of course" you can check what clothes and other stuff you have at least 3 days beforehand without actually packing them, but then you couldn't feel oh so superior at your exemplary planning...

Arrrgh, I can't bear self-satisfied posts by "Little Miss Organised" types.

Ironically, despite your feelings of smugness about your fantastic organisation that "of course" everyone surely mimics if they're a competent human (?!), ironically you're clearly not that organised at all if you're leaving it only 3 days before you go on holiday to work out whether you need to buy something to take!

I don’t think she was being smug, you’ve missed the nuance. She’s being self deprecating.

Canstartagaintomorrow · 15/03/2023 08:31

Oooh really it depends what the trip is!!!

Long holiday - like 2 weeks I’ll probably start to pack a week in advance, especially given a trip like that would be with the kids. Gives me time to wash anything that we will need to take, anything extra I need to buy etc

If it’s just a weekend/overnight with the other half then it’s about half an hour before I’m setting off

romdowa · 15/03/2023 08:33

Surely it's just another way for people to ask are you ready/ excited for your trip.

Thighlengthboots · 15/03/2023 08:36

Yeah, I dont get this either! I need to use my toothbrush, I need my shampoo, makeup and hairdryer and loads of other things in the days running up to the trip. I'm not gonna pack them away a week early only to have to get them back out again every single day and re-pack them leading up to it. Fine- make a list but packing, un-packing, re-packing, unpacking is just silly.

ringsaglitter · 15/03/2023 08:41

Puffalicious · 14/03/2023 22:43

It's just people making conversation- chill. It's usually an in to chat about the trip, what you might take, what you're reading etc. It's just small talk. I pack the day before, like most folk probably.

Yeah right, exactly this. Chill lol.

UrgentScurryfunge · 15/03/2023 08:42

It's not much of a conversation though.
"Have you packed yet?"
"No!?!"

Even if the answer was "yes", it's not going to really develop is it? "I've packed 3 bras, 10 pairs of pants, 2 pairs of pjs..."

I tend to camp, so there's no point in packing before the weather forecasts become more clear. I have a notebook with lists so I can refer to previous years.

Last year our holiday was cut short by a family funeral. We had 10 hours to unload the car rammed with camping gear, pack for the funeral and sleep before we had to travel to the airport. Admittedly we did buy funeral clothes while on holiday so there was some element of pre-organisation going on based on what we remembered that we had at home and its general state and sizing.

LlynTegid · 15/03/2023 08:48

I think it is just for conversation, nothing else.

Something you have less of when working from home part of the week. Another to add to the list of good things when working from home!