To stop bothering with my half siblings

[cadburyegg]

I am a child of a 2nd marriage and my half siblings and I have never been that close. There is a substantial age difference , but I have always tried to make the effort.

My half sister now lives in America, and as a result visits have been few and far between.
My half brother who lives near has never made an effort or showed any interest in my children. Fair enough, he doesn't have to. I just assumed he didn't really like kids. Last time I saw my sister just before our dad died, she visited for a month. We saw her once, with her kids. My brother doted on them. Meanwhile, my kids were ignored.
I tried to meet up with her again whilst she was still in the country but she ignored my messages. Then when she got back home she raved on social media about how it was nice to spend so much time with her family.

Ever since our dad died contact has declined. I've just found out that my sister visited recently and didn't get in touch to let me know.
I feel sad because they are my only siblings and I always have wanted a relationship with them but they clearly don't want one with me.

AIBU to stop flogging a dead horse or will I regret it one day? Anyone else been in a similar situation?

YANBU- it sounds like you’ve tried hard enough already. Maybe it time to accept the relationship you have and stop trying to make it into more than it is, more than they want.

Put the effort into other relationships- friends etc.

YANBU. Mine are 12 years younger than me and we have zero in common. It’s difficult to believe we have even one parent the same, tbh.

Haven’t seen them in person for about 6 years, don’t have them on SM.

That's quite tough if I'm honest!

Did you all grow up in the home together, or did you live with dad / mum and they came EOW? It can definitely be hard accepting a parents new family, especially if it's not in their main home. Its a lot to process as an older sibling.

I love my half sister (not that we call each other that!) - but we all lived together 100% of the time, so it was more of a family feel and the age gap isn't huge too which helps. I think it would be different if there was a 10 year age gap and I only say her EOW.

I'm sorry your dad has died, he was possibly the glue that kept that wider relationship together. If they're not bothered then it might be time to stop spending any energy worrying or trying to get those relationships where you want them to be, as it doesn't seem they're willing to put as much effort in.

Half sibling relationships when one is much younger can be difficult. I’m 17 years older than my half sibling, and in all honesty other than a father, we have nothing in common. We don’t have a shared childhood experience, we didn’t grow up together like my other siblings.

On my part there are no bad feelings, but I would feel fake for trying to force a relationship there where we haven’t been ever been close. We’re at very different points in life.

it’s tough, I feel for you.