I know the responses already will be that I need to put my foot down - but I have and he’s still not getting the message.
Last week, DH wanted a quote sorted for something and arranged a guy to come over and give him a figure. I WFH but said to DH that I’m busy and he’ll have to handle the guy coming over (if DH left work on time then he’d be home about half an hour before the guy was due). DH said not to worry and he’d sort it. DH ended up staying late because he “forgot” the guy was coming so I had to let him in and discuss with him etc. The same guy needs to come back again later today to do another check, I again said to DH that I am working and cannot facilitate it. He promised to be home on time to do it (this time, he’s coming an hour later, so an hour and a half after DH should be home).
Yesterday was my birthday and I didn’t get a gift or a card or even a “happy birthday” until I suggested we do something nice. DH suggested we go to a garden centre down the road where the food is objectively awful because I have a voucher for there (that I only got because the time we ate there they served me food with mold on it). He then said I should’ve planned something. So I found a restaurant and called to book a table.
Last night before bed, DH reminded me that the guy is coming today. He said “oh, I just realised you’ll be at home so I don’t need to be back in time for that”. I’m home every single day, how has he “just realised that”?! So, I called him out. I said that he hasn’t just realised anything, he’s always known full well I’ll be at home and also knows I’m not dealing with it. So, he had a strop and eventually admitted that he just didn’t want to do it himself.
On Friday night, it became apparent that DH had to send a difficult email to his employer. He asked me for help with it and I said I’d help him whenever. He didn’t bring it up again… until this morning. He phoned me when he was driving to work, and I was getting DD ready for nursery and dropping her off. He was asking for my help writing the email so I reminded him of important points - he was clearly in a huff. Then he asked me to dictate it to him so I tried to dictate an email to him over the phone whilst walking to nursery. Then, after a few minutes, he complained that it was taking too long and “why couldn’t you just write it for me?” in a pissed off tone. At that point, I had it. I said that it’s absolutely not acceptable for him to except me to write his work emails for him, I’m under no obligation to even help him and so he has no right at all to be angry with me for not writing it for him in full without him even actually asking me to do it.
AIBU to not understand why everything is my bloody job? We’ve reached the point where he expects me to do his work emails for him by myself without actually even asking me and then I get a bollocking if I haven’t done it!