Dietary Requirements

[RedxRobin]

What is it with having to ask people their dietary requirements now? Surely if you are allergic/vegetarian/vegan etc you would just say up front? Organising a dinner for work and having to double check with everyone if they have dietary requirements - one has now replied to say their vegetarian. Surely you would mention it when replying?
It's reminding me that when I was organising DD's birthday party one of the parents hadn't told me that their DD was celiac - I only found out because a mutual friend told me. I hadn't been checking if they had dietary requirements because I thought they would just tell me up front.
So - AIBU - I should always check OR AINBU - they should say themselves

It's polite to ask. Yes it's their responsibility to check they can eat something but if everyone is specifically asked then it makes it much less likely that people will forget to mention it.

I'm coeliac and it's nice when people ask if I have dietary requirements without me having to bring it up separately. It makes it seem like less of an inconvenience.

I wouldn't even think of vegetarianism as a dietary requirement now, I would just assume a substantial percentage of the food needed to be veggie. And would always check for allergies, gluten free, vegan or religious requirements.

I think you are being unreasonable. If you're organising a meal in the 21st century you're being quite narrow minded to assume everyone eats the same food you do. Have you led a very sheltered life where you just don't come across many people different to you?

I always ask, I'd rather not have to rely on them remembering to inform me in time.

I always ask, and most people do so when they invite us in my experience, but if they don't, then I say something about my DS's allergies when I reply.
It can be awkward if people don't ask though. It feels like you're being a bit demanding when you accept an invitation and then give a list of restrictions. It's easier if the host initiates the conversation. When I'm the host I feel it's polite to ask.

Ah - OK. I guess I always think that people would just mention if they had specific requirements! Clearly I am BU!

I think because beggie/vegan is so common now people forget they probably need to be upfront about it!

I have always found people with allergies more likely to say upfront when sending an RSVP.

For future ref its just easier to ask people to let you know of dietary requirements when they send their RSVP.

I am vegetarian and prefer being asked. If I have to mention it myself I always worry that the host might think I'm entitled expecting them to cater to my requirements. If they ask if means they don't mind accomodating my requirements.

I was a vegetarian for 20 years, and back then, I often had to ask people what the food was to work out if there would be anything to eat or if I needed to bring my own. I would consider it a common courtesy to ask or at least confirm with someone that you'll have food for them. It makes people feel seen.

Also, realistically, I ask to give people a reminder. So if someone has rsvped, I often follow up closer to the date to ask about dietary requirements to bloody remind them that they actually said they'd attend. It's a more subtle way of reminding them.

I agree people should take it upon themselves to say. When I was vegan I didn't even bother telling the host things and just phoned the venue to ask that they prepare something but this was before vegan was mainstream.

If I were organising a large buffet though I would just do it all vegan with a gluten free option because it would be less faff.

If you're booking somewhere give the venue name and put 'please call the venue should you have any specific dietary requirements'

Yep, I tend to just do a couple of solid "everything free" options so far as that's possible, then make things like meat and gluten add ons.

But then I was raised in a family with a plethora of food issues. And since I had none, I enjoyed eating all the food.

I'm vegan and dairy intolerant - I keep hearing about how vegans are a pain so I try not to make a big deal about it and don't say unless I'm directly asked. If there's nothing there I can eat I just don't eat but I don't assume I'm being catered for.
I do always ask about requirements - there are lots in my family including some complex and unusual ones like can't have lentils or onions or too much of certain macronutrients (that was diagnosed by an NHS team, not a fad). But I cater for preferences too, I like hosting.

I have two coeliac family members and neither would say anything unless they were specifically asked. They don't want to be seen as difficult or fussy so they say nothing and then don't eat anything and subsequently appear difficult and fussy.