To be sick of being skint?

[SnappyTheCrocodile]

DH and I make fairly decent money. Nothing to write home about but we’re not on the breadline either. We bring in about £65000pa pre-tax (I work pt, DH runs a business). I drive a 13 year old hatchback on its last legs. DH has a work van that is similarly iffy. We have a lovely but very tiny house with a mortgage just over £1000pm. Two DCs in nursery (eldest gets 30 hours funding so doesn’t cost too much). We have pets that don’t cost a great deal. We have potentially expensive hobbies but do them ‘on the cheap’ (DH’s business is in a related area so this helps). We don’t have massive debts - a couple of thousand in overdrafts/credit cards.

Why do we struggle so much?! I don’t get paid for ten days and I’m counting change to buy sugar!

We don’t have masses of subscription services (no Netflix, or Disney, or Spotify anymore), we don’t eat out, we don’t buy clothes or anything. I don’t understand what we are doing wrong.

Apologies @BarbaraofSeville I didn't read your post as you intended it.

Small bits add up.
Pets cost money. Vet bills, food, insurance, accessories - all add up!

Expensive hobbies, pets etc cost WAY more than Netflix subscription 😂

you need to put things on paper to see where your money is going.

And did you say couple of thousands on credit cards!??

THIS 🏆

YANBU, at all. It’s really crap and difficult at the moment. Things cost so much! Is there any way you’re able to move to a cheaper area? Appreciate not always a possibility for most.

You haven't really given enough detail to advise but my initial suggestion would be to temporarily cut back on the hobby and throw that money at the credit cards/loans so that burden eases sooner; up your working hours if you can around the DC, to the same end; and look in detail at your (food especially) spending - have one or two cheaper meals a week and actively put that saved money towards debt.

Massive caveat because of gaps in info of course.

Yes, This.

I read an article "think like a millionaire"
and it said similar.

Someone said the comment made them sad , does it make them sad if we called it millionaire mentality?

It's miserable working 40 hours a week in a career you've spent years building to have nothing to enjoy after you've paid your bills.

It is indeed, but plenty of people include as part of their bills things that others consider a treat. Coffee being one. It used to be and still is for some that a coffee stop was a rare treat on a special shopping trip, such as a day Xmas shopping or out buying a new outfit or something. Nowadays its often an extension of the supermarket trip. The supermarket I work in has both a Greggs and a Maccys inside. Both very well used. Considering there is a time limit in the car park, people are not spending huge amounts of time to justify needing to eat and drink but they do it anyway. Which is fine but the problem is people don't class it as a treat they class it as part of their shopping and feel hard done by if they don't get another treat.

Not saying this is the case for OP but most people have to make certain choices and the only way to do that is write down exactly what you spend and what is essential and non essential then make your decision as to what non essential you could cut.

We are on the same, prob just a bit more now with some recent pay rises but my first thought was that your mortgage seems quite high for a small property. This last year with the energy hikes was the first time I would say we have felt stretched and I felt nervous
financially, on the same amount.

We live in a cheap, rural area though and mortgage is around £450 for a 3 bed semi. Most it has been thought was £570 in a house bought in 2014 ( it was a tired ex council property so didn’t pay huge for it). Also childcare, we only have 1 child and just recently started getting the free hours which has made a huge difference and such a relief. Switching to term time only nursery soon so cost will drop further. While we were paying full fees it was quite tight sometimes, though I’d never say struggling and we could still afford 2 newish cars (within 5 yrs), holiday and some modest savings.

I think with having to pay childcare for two children and the mortgage would be the main thing. Hopefully childcare will come down in the not too distant future for you. I also monitor my finances religiously (perhaps a bit too much ) and make an effort not to fritter £30 away every week on shite (not saying you do but I know I will if I let me). We have had family help with regard to childcare which may be our saving grace as we didn’t have to pay for full time. So I guess it depends on the specifics. Had I had to pay full time I would have forgone holidays until free hours/starting school. I don’t really do clothes either. I mean I buy something new if I need it but nothing designer etc.

We also have a log burner and dramatically reduced our electric use so could keep the DD a lot lower than the recommended.

It'll be the 2 kids in nursery + mortgage I expect.
Our combined income is a little less (maybe just under 60k) but we have 1 child in nursery (2nd on the way but 1st will be in school by the time 2nd starts nursery) and our mortgage is less - though we've had to do it over a long term to keep the costs down so over 30 years left!
We have just 1 car between us and don't have much money for hobbies.
We manage but we don't really have money for holidays and only really buy big ticket items by paying monthly for them for a while, always feels like money is a bit tight.

I suspect it will be the mortgage plus childcare. What is that? If it’s say £2500 out of net a month for those you’ll not have much disposable income even on a decent income.

Our household income is half of yours. But we can only afford to run one car and use public transport as needed. We have also worked hard to never get into debt.

We are on a bit more than you, combined £68k , our mortgage is low because we have moved up the ladder by renovating and moving up. We live very frugally though, only a handful of nights out a year, no takeaways but we do host a fair bit at our home. No masses of clothes, and always buy on the sales. Make a spreadsheet of your expenses and see where you can cut back to have some savings...

You're not skint because you have things that are luxuries that you could cut back on if you desperately needed to save money.

Also it depends who you are comparing yourself against - you earn roughly the average salary but if your comparing yourself against a colleague who doesn't have kids or pets, although those costs are comparatively low (for you, I understand nursery fees can be extortionate for others) they all add up. Even if pet food is "only" a fiver a week and insurance "only" 70quid a year that's over £300 a year that someone without pets isn't paying, so (everything else hypothetically being similar) they might not be worrying about paying for groceries at the end of the month, and might be able to afford a meal out or new clothes now and again.

Even if you are "only" paying £100 a month for nursery that's £1200 more a year than colleague who isn't paying for childcare- that's not just the difference between struggling to buy sugar at the end of the month, that's a holiday!

I'm not suggesting giving up your pets or hobbies just saying small things add up and can make the difference between "managing OK with a few small treats" and "barely getting by". Neither of which are the same as "skint" which is struggling to pay for essentials even after cutting all luxuries.

Can you list your income and outgoing?

Use a spreadsheet with a running balance and plot income/outgoings on this to show where you will be in weeks' or months' time.

I use this and it's invaluable otherwise I'd find myself suddenly out of money.

I bring in £1,680/month for me and my child and two cats.

We are often skint but only for a few days as I have multiple paydays due to being self-employed.

Our rent is extremely low though, less than half yours. And I think a car takes a lot of money, hence why I've never got one. We probably spend about £40/month on taxis with practically zero public transport costs as right now I don't do much outside the local area.

Just put every single thing on a spreadsheet. I can't imagine being in the dark about my finances, and it's usually people with a high income who are. I'm sure your situation is better than mine but it's really easily solved.

You've got 2 kids with a fairly small age gap. Things will sort themselves out as nursery fees drop.
Our income has sat around your level (between 55 and 70) for the past 3 years, and without childcare fees we are comfortable right now. Hold on in there.

Can you transfer your credit card debt to a 0% interest card to pay it down?

You sound quite dismissive of your debt and I wonder what your approach is with money?

I feel the same.

Just started working full time ish (32 hours over 4 days) so money will be better but childcare is a joke. We are paying just under £800 (with tax free childcare) a month for 2 (one with 30 hours) for 3 days a week!

We definitely could cut back but find it hard to not have treats when some days are stressful and we are permanently exhausted!

So I'm with you ☹️xx

My problems will money stem from where I live. Very expensive place to live house prices wise. But if I move the kids won’t be near their dad, plus they are settled in schools, and my Dd (14) has invested a lot of herself in local area specific projects.

I totally relate OP. Sorry about the judgemental comments on here. We have a similar income, slightly less, and I just don’t see how two people with decent jobs are in this position. It’s so hard.

We earn a very similar amount and have no rent, mortgage or childcare costs so I can why you are struggling. We do have to help ds with Uni costs, but it's things like old cars that take all out money yet we can't afford new cars or cars on lease. Stuff is constantly going wrong with the cars or unexpected bills. We rarely go out or have treats. Holidays for the past 4 years have been cheap UK deal usually on some kind of special offer. We went out for a day and treated the grown up kids, we had a meal at Nando's and went ten pin bowling and that cost us £155 for one afternoon of treating ourselves and having some family time ! Life just seems so unaffordable right now at a time in our lives when we should be having a bit of fun and not worrying. We both work full time in stressful jobs and it all seems relentless.

How much does your husbands business actually pay into your family funds AFTER TAX?
This is more important than what it's turnover might be.

If his business expenses including taxes are 95% of his gross income, then he isn't actually 'earning' that much.

Or do you mean the income he draws out from the business is the equivalent to however much of that £65k pre tax you have annually?

If your 'expensive' hobby stuff is being put down as business assets, then they are still costing money so it's not really 'on the cheap' & as business assets they are not really yours either.

I'm absolutely baffled that you are on a similar amount of money to the op but are struggling when you have no housing costs? I wouldn't think you'd be living incredibly lavishly or anything but actually struggling and can't afford to go abroad? How can you not afford a car on a lease if you have no rent/mortgage?