Mothers Day… want to ignore it this year completely.

[EmTteapot]

i hate it.. I’m a single parent and my children won’t know it Mother’s Day, their dad almost makes a point of ignoring it, despite years of me getting them to make him cards for Father’s Day etc, he doesn’t remind them or help them do anything for me…. Neither do my mum or my sister who we live locally to us. I’ve always celebrated with my mum on the day, got her a card and a gift and just got on with it…. But last year my eldest daughter got really upset realising at the end of the day that they hadn’t done anything for me. The mothers day after both lockdowns was the worst for me, after all I did as a mum over that previous year, I was literally so upset that no one had helped them to organise anything to show appreciation for what I had to go through as a parent on my own that year…. Since then, I haven’t wanted to participate at all, this year I’ve decided it’s a non day but my sister has just invited me to do something on mothers day for our mum…. and I don’t want to do it.

AIBU? should I just remind me kids every day this week so they know about it or can i just opt out?

It sounds like your children would like to do something for you. So just remind them. Don't be a martyr, just ask for what you want.

And stop the Father's Day stuff. Let him know you won't be reminding them and he should.

It depends on how old they are.
It doesn’t have to be a surprise, you could all make dinner together or bake something together in celebration of Mother’s Day.

Do they not make cards at school for you?

This is for you 💐 🌹 🌸 🏵 🌼 💐 🌹 🌸 🏵 🌼 🙂

Tell them it’s Mother’s Day Sunday, and ask them to make you a card. Kids love making cards and you are giving them a lesson
in being kind to others , and appreciating their lovely mum!

They want to do something for you. You want them to be able to do something for you.
don’t wait for others to make it happen, you can do it!
im a single parent, have been for quite a few years. Ever since they were little I took them to a supermarket, or the pound shop, gave them a £5 note and looked the other way while they chose something in an aisle they liked the look of. Then went to till with them holding it behind their back and asked the member of staff to help them pay while I didn’t look. They loved it, I had all sorts…Pokémon cards, toy cars etc while they were little.
theyve got better at it each year. Now the oldest are old enough to take charge of the youngest and I drive them into town, have a cuppa in Costa and let them go off for half an hour together. I love our tradition and so do they. Give it a go before next weekend 🥰

You sound a bit of a martyr... your sister has made a lovely suggestion to get together to do something for your mum so why don't you embrace that & let your DC know you are having a joint celebration?

I am a mother but I am also a daughter... I am concentrating on making sure my own DM has a lovely day ... my adult son may or may not remember it's Mother's Day but I'm not going to lose any sleep over it.

That sounds lovely @Hermanfromguesswho

I bet they feel really special doing it.

Stop making effort for father day for a start especially if he cb'd with MD.

Dont know how old your dc are but I would remind them its mothers day and it would be lovely if they made a card/drew a picture for you

I've taken to being much more up front about what I want for birthdays and mother's day etc. Just suggested to DH we go for lunch and booked it myself for MD. Otherwise he'd twig it was this Sunday on Saturday afternoon and feel bad it was all booked. I'd be putting money on the side and saying, "I really like tulips, and a homemade card would be appreciated" assuming they are old enough to act which it sounds they are.

Mothering Sunday is about the church not what media & hallmark have created..get over it it’s not important

Mother’s Day isn’t for ex’s or random family members to buy you thinks and tell you you are doing great (nice as that would be). Remind your kids and let them no you’d love a hand made card, and be greatful with whatever effort they go to. You are lucky to be a mum, and your kids are lucky to have a loving mum, that’s what Mother’s Day is about, not your DSis buying you flowers because you’ve had a crap year.

No it's not. You can make it purely about the church if you want, as is your right, but don't use that nonsense to trivialise other people's feelings.

OP - could you take them to a big supermarket, bung them a couple of quid and give them 10 minutes in the mothers' day aisle? That gives them the chance to choose something for you while you look the other way, and then pretend to be surprised on the day? If they want to treat you, you're doing something right, so let them. When they're older, they'll do it themselves.

It sounds like your children would like to do something for you. So just remind them. Don't be a martyr, just ask for what you want.

agree with @MrsTerryPratchett here. If only because they will realise after the fact that it was mothers' day and they hadn't done anything.

Just a quick "it's mother's day coming up, do you need help with anything" and that will be enough.

As for the father's day - just jack it in. Don't tell him, just stop. and if he moans ask him why the heck you should.

Mothering Sunday is about the church not what media & hallmark have created..get over it it’s not important

zzzzzz so bloody inevitable and boring.
It matters not how it started - the simple fact is many many people use this day to acknowledge the role of their mother in their life, and it is lovely for them. It is sod all to do with hallmark - nobody has to buy anything.

I'm so sorry your family and ex haven't thought about you, I can see why you're so upset. It sounds like your children want to make it special so definitely make some prompts and I love the idea from other posters of taking them to a shop and letting them choose without you seeing, I bet they would love to do this to make you feel special.

YANBU for not wanting to spend Mother's Day with your mom, sounds like she's pretty selfish and just hasn't thought about how you're doing so I wouldn't go either. Stay at home with your children and make it a fun day of baking/painting or whatever you'd like to do. I know some attractions are offering free entry to mothers so maybe look at that? Our local zoo is doing this and a few play centres.

You could also buy some breakfast bits and see if your children would like to bring it up for breakfast in bed in the morning? Easy stuff like pastries fruit etc?