To ask if you would be happy with a stranger walking your child home without your knowledge?

[Herenorthere]

I feel a bit weird about this situation but am expected to be told I am BU.
I have name changed.

DS attends an afterschool activity. The kids are all secondary age, the youngest is 11. They can all leave alone although some are picked up. They are all DBS checked obviously. DS has told me that one of the new staff members has started to walk home one of the younger boys each night. He has to walk out of his way to do this. Based on what has been said neither the activity leader nor the boys parents know this is happening. The staff member turns back before he gets fully home.

AIBU to feel a bit weird about this, I know they are DBS checked and part of me would be grateful my child was not walking home alone in the dark but it makes me a bit uncomfortable even from just a perspective of being a silly position to put yourself in as a staff member.

I work at a primary school and if I were made aware of something like this I’d report it to the safeguarding lead.

I might not mind my child walking with someone who isn't a stranger to them based on the circumstances...but the secrecy bit would really raise alarm bells. Maybe contact the organisers and mention that new staff member may not realise they are putting themselves in a vulnerable situation being 1:1 with the young person.

Yes that would twang my spidey senses too. You should let the parents and club know this is happening. If its innocent, as it may well be, no harm.

For safeguarding reasons you're not allowed to be on your own with a child in scouts, so this should be no different and needs taking up with the safeguarding lead. The rules are there to protect both sides so it's not an accusation.

I’d mention it but also be aware that it might be an agreed arrangement. My kids rarely give the full picture.

A dbs check just meant they've not been caught/convicted of anything. Yet.
the secrecy aspect sounds odd.

Just because the staff are DBS checked that doesn't mean 100% security, rather they've not been caught with anything dubious.

I'm not saying this person is a potential groomer but it's certainly strange that he goes out of his way to walk him home and turn back before the child reaches his house. Saying that it could all very innocent but I'd definitely be wary.

Having volunteered for several groups with kids this is like no. 1 not allowed rule.

Who is the safeguarding lead? Report it to them and if they don’t seem to listen report it to the council’s safeguarding department.

This. I'd report it but with the caveat "I'm aware this might have been arranged between family and staff member, however, I just would like to make you aware of the situation"

What sounds odd is that your child (?) somehow knows that the organisation and the parents don't know that one of the leaders is doing this.
Maybe clarify.
All things being equal, there is nothing wrong at face value with a member of staff at an after-school activity making sure a child gets home safely. Particularly if the organisation has been asked to do so by the family.
Obviously if Herbert the Pervert has got himself a job specifically to do so and is walking the child home without anyone knowing (though I'd question how this has gone unnoticed tbh- surely they are leaving together? By definition?) in order to groom him, then it's a different thing.
It's a big leap to make though.
(I'm deputy safeguarding lead, one of our members of staff accompanies a 14 year old home in a cab twice a week)

I’d report it but it could well be completely innocent. If it is, no harm done. I would rather be cautious than have a regret.

That's not true.

It's weird that he turns back before the child gets all the way home. If he walked him all the way home I'd understand but he's not making anyone any safer but not chaperoning the full journey.

I'd feel uncomfortable.

Based on what’s been said? By who, your DS?

Thank you, I will approach it this way I think.
I do not want to step on toes but I am almost certain it is not pre arranged based on something that has been said.

I do not necessarily think the situation is dodgy. The staff member in question seems to be quite immature and thinks as himself as one of the kids but I as someone who has worked with children it makes me uncomfortable, for his own protection as well as the child's!

I'd be uncomfortable with an adult being alone with a child. Two children, no problem.

Two children also a problem in this instance. Worst case scenario, club assistant could build a relationship ith both, with a view to later getting one of the children alone.

Remember this when the next 'it takes a village' thread comes up.

It's an odd arrangement

This bit doesn't bother me. If a scout leader or sport coach was taking a detour to escort two or more children along a poorly lit or otherwise dodgy route, leaving them when they got to a safer housing estate, then I'd be okay with it. It's the single child that bothers me.

Tough one, I walk/cycle students home sometimes with my job but the parents and schools know this is happening.

Without giving a lot of information, I am not the only adult who has become aware of this and the other person has been more direct than myself, I am not relying just on the word of my DS.

All the kids and this staff member leave at the same time, the other staff members are still in the building, all of the kids and the staff member leave the building at the same time and then scatter in different directions to walk home through the nearby estates if not picked up so it would not seem odd for them to leave together.

Like I said I do not necessarily think anything dodgy is happening and the staff member acts like a big kid but I think it is a stupid thing to do as a staff member and as a parent I would not be happy.

I am going to email in the style Mars has suggested. That way no accusations, if and everyone is safe.

Yes, that sounds like a good idea. Hopefully it's nothing.

Me too.

The reason it isn't allowed by Scouts etc is to a) protect the child from abuse AND b) to protect the adult from false accusations.